Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Your Usefulness to God

Throwing up for multiple times a day for months and months takes so much out of a hyperemesis gravidarum patient. When I do slow down with the vomiting, I can't fully recover my strength or stamina because the baby is using so much to rapidly develop. While I still have some nausea and vomiting, the fatigue is a constant problem. It hinders everything I try to do. Being an active person, it frustrates me to no end. Once the baby comes, I can tell such a big improvement in how I feel, you can't hold me down. I am on my feet and ready to roll.

Throughout the entire pregnancy, I have to rest a lot. Sometimes more than others. Last week, I overdid it for a few hours and paid for it with four days of total exhaustion. That gave everyone who loves me plenty of time to fuss and wag their finger in my direction. I also had a lot of time to wonder just how in the world God could possibly be using me when I am so weak.

I want to glorify Him in all I say and do although I am aware I fall very, very short of that goal. I prayed and asked God to not let me be a waste to Him even though I can't fulfill some of my normal duties. He's an awesome, loving, kind, generous God and He so deserves our best efforts. But, what if our best efforts are skimpy? What about when we are weak and can't do very much?
After that prayer, I had several people contact me to thank me for being a blessing in their life recently. Some were hyperemesis patients who found value in the things I have shared in my own struggles. Others were blessed by something I wrote last year. One told me I had been a blessing to her through her widowhood and she wanted to thank me. Another said I had been a great help in her recent struggles with her child. My oldest son, while reflecting on his quickly approaching adulthood, told me he would miss being with me as much as he is now. Four women thanked me for clothes I sorted, bagged up and gave to them. I am humbled God shared all of this at that time to reassure me.

You know what is wonderful? They were expressing thankfulness God used me in their lives, but God was using them to bless me in a time of uncertainty.

If you are saved by the grace of God and sincere in your efforts to please Him, He is using you right where you are, just as you are.

It's not what you do or how much you do. It's how you do it. He's looking at your heart and making use of your willingness to be a vessel for His work that will be done by Him through you.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 but he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me. Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong.