Wednesday, May 07, 2014


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"Though He slay me, yet I trust Him." --Job

"There's a purpose to this pain. Let's get to living it out even as we heal." --Pastor Clint Asbell

Clint and I are spending today alone on the water together. Last year, we gave birth and said goodbye to our precious Isaac Coleman. We thought child bearing was done, but God had another surprise with a special purpose. Isaac was last, but definitely not least.

I can remember Clint with his hand on my belly counting the kicks and talking to Isaac about the great plan God had for him. God's plan is greater than what we imagined. Isaac has touched so many lives and continues to do so. Last weekend, I was sharing part of this journey with a small group. No eye was dry when I finished speaking. That story is scheduled for June 7th.

After delivery the nurse was baffled because I was so eager to hold Isaac. I had great joy in seeing him and in feeling his weight in my arms. She couldn't understand the joy because she could see no further than that moment, that still form. The sorrow came in letting him go to the funeral home knowing I'd have a long while before I'd get opportunity to know him. 

A few weeks ago, I asked a question which unintentionally caused an acquaintance pain because I was not aware of a death that had occurred months earlier. I admit I have not paid much attention to the external goings on around me this year, because it took mindfulness and constant effort to battle through my grief. Some days have been very hard. I had focus on getting my strength and stamina back, caring for the Mallory-Weiss tears, finding healing in Christ, helping my husband and children heal, and catching up on the many things that fell behind while I was on bedrest for five months. If I seemed out of the loop, it is because I was. 

Thank you to those who showed their love. It made a difference. I saved all of the cards, letters, gifts, and some of the flower petals. Time was short, so I do not have many memories of my son, however, I do of your love for me. Lord, please bless these people with an abundance of acts of love and kindness for their love and kindness to us. Shower them with your love, Father, so they can keep showering it on others.

Thank you for understanding when I needed time alone to heal. Thank you too, for relentlessly checking on me to make sure I was OK. Lord, please let these people always feel YOUR presence and hear YOUR voice when they are in the valleys of life. Like You did for me, please pick them up and set them back to running the race you have put before them.

Thank you to those of you who prayed for our family. Lord, please bless these special prayer warriors with stronger relationships with godly people and heal the broken relationships in their lives. Please grow their faith and make them stronger in You. Let them lay down what doesn't matter and race forward for what does.

Clint and I are determined to have a good day together. We ask you to give praise and thanks to God for the way He helped us, healed us, and expanded our ministry to others. Please take time to rejoice with us today that our miscarried and stillborn children are only away from us a short time, because 

....we will be reunited for eternity,

....never to part again, 

thanks and praise to the Lord!!!! 

He is worthy of our praise!!!!

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater." But I say unto you, they are inseparable. Kahlil Gibran

After losing his beloved wife, Hudson Taylor wrote in his journal: Love gave the blow that for a little while makes the desert more dreary, but Heaven more homelike.