Thursday, June 26, 2014

Are You Tearing Down Your Family Without Realizing It?

updated from an earlier 2009 post

"...I can't stand the children I have." 
"..I can't wait until you grow up and get out of my house."

While I am too polite to say it outloud to the stranger who just said it to me in a public place, isn't saying you can't stand your child a very unloving thing to say? I'm not judging. I've said things I've had to discipline myself over also.

Is that a Christian attitude towards the ones God calls a special gift, a blessing, a reward, a heritage? 

I know "everyone does it." Why would you adopt a worldly attitude that is so negative towards the children you claim you love so dearly? 

Do you want the rebellious teens, unhappy and broken homes "everyone who does it" has as well? 

Why divide your family with hurtful comments when you could build and strengthen them with loving words? 

When you say things like that, don't you realize it reflects poorly on your parenting and your relationship with your child?

If you value your child, let it reflect in your words and stop tearing them down with unkind comments. If you do say something unloving or unkind, apologize to them and work to change.

This goes for spouses and external family as well. If you want to tear down your marriage or cause a division in your family, keep criticizing, nagging or speaking in anger. Don't think your insult disguised as flattery goes unnoticed. People who deal with things inwardly become skittish after being trampled repeatedly. It's impact may not been seen until the gap is too wide to bridge. 

If you want to build relationships, choose your words carefully. Make sure they reflect what you truly feel or you may lose something very valuable. People claim they will do anything for a loved one but won't take control over their own tongue. The Bible says it is the foolish person who tears down their house with their own hands (actions). 

Here's what God has to say about the power of your words:

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit" Proverbs 18:21

"But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment." Matthew 12:36

"For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." Matthew 12:37

"Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand." Matthew 12:25

"But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea." Matthew 18:6