One of my friends was beaten by her husband (now an ex) who also forced himself on her. He ruined their finances, denied one of his children as being his, quit jobs repeatedly, lost their home and land, and ran up debt on credit cards she didn't know they had. He became an angry, violent alcoholic. She knows her life with him is over. She told me she wanted to have no reaction whatsoever to his name when she heard it, but she gets angry, tense, and resentful. She admitted she'd like to see him get what he deserved. She realizes she needs to forgive. I shared the following with her, and she said it helped.
The key to forgiveness is not in looking at what the other person did to you. The key is in looking at how much YOU have been forgiven. Because of Jesus, we escape what we deserve. God commands us to extend forgiveness to others so we can reflect Him. Forgiving doesn't just release them. It teaches us and grows us in many ways. It's powerful! Once you get to that place, blessings flow! That doesn't mean you go back into an abusive situation. Forgiveness means you aren't seeking retribution in any form.