"The times when I’m most hurt by what I other people did, are the times when I compare myself to others. ... Comparison and intent form a vicious cycle. But don’t despair, there is hope. Plenty of people have learned how to take things at face value, and nothing more. They do not ascribe intent, and live happier lives as a result. It comes with practice, maturity, and healthy boundaries."
This article is very good, but there is another side to it. Be very wary of people who are always telling you why someone else behaves the way they do because it will affect your relationships. Listening to them will harden your heart towards people who probably were doing the best they could. Be also wary of someone who tries to tell you how you feel. They will erode your self esteem and destroy your self confidence. Only God can judge motives and intentions. Only He sees into the heart and fully knows and understands. A mature Christian is going to have the wisdom and grace to give the benefit of the doubt and will seek to build relationships rather than tear them apart.