Thursday, January 26, 2012

Lowly in Spirit

My past had me not trusting people as it was, but what little I had left is completely shattered. There are two people responsible for bringing me here. They come from the same place and have the same behaviors. One resents the other for what they did when their behavior is worse. One befriended and used me to try to persuade my husband to give them what they wanted. The other did it behind my back while pretending everything was OK to my face. I survived one blow to have another come along and knock me down even harder. The cruelest assaults come from people who say they care and then hurt you anyway. At this particular moment in time where the first wound has been reopened and the second is fresh, I wish I had never met either one of them.

I have always believed if you treated people well and tried your best to do right, you would be blessed for it. I no longer believe that. Life sucker punches you. Hard. Sometimes back to back.

I am thoroughly whipped by life at the moment. There is absolutely nothing left of me to even try to help myself up, so I am counting on this:

Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in spirit.