Tuesday, April 07, 2015

Remembering Baby

Note: This post was scheduled before I lost Jonathan. I decided to let it run as it is. We now have nine of the memorial ornaments.

This is one of the questions I very frequently hear. I was asked again by a dear friend after she was going through her own loss. Here is my answer to her.

How did you memorialize your babies?

We buried our babies' ashes in a capsule in our flower garden with pictures our children drew for them. I have eight memorial ornaments from The Comfort Company that hang over my bedroom doorway. I have two figurines of babies wrapped in wings in different locations in the house. I also have a portrait of an erethal Jesus holding a baby behind a woman crying over an empty cradle entitled "The God of All Comfort." Jesus' hand is on the heartbroken woman's shoulder. At the bottom is 2 Corinthians 1:3-5. I have a big farm bell on my deck which we purchased for another reason. I go out there alone and ring it 8 times when my heart is really aching. The best thing I have done though is to have shared my story which has been sent to women all over the world and parts of it have been published. Seeing the ministry God has given me to reach out to others has been the thing that has given me the most peace. It is through our deepest hurts that God brings about the most beautiful things. He gives us great peace and beauty for ashes when we rest in Him instead of resist Him!

“Women themselves will say, ‘How can a loss at 20-plus weeks be the same as a loss at six weeks?'” said Emma Robertson Blackmore, an assistant professor of psychiatry at the University of Rochester Medical Center who has studied moods during pregnancy, post-partum depression and the effects of miscarrying. “But research says the level of symptoms and impairment is the same.” - See more at: Miscarriages and Stillbirths 

"It is right to grieve the loss...All humans are made in God's image, made to reflect Him and His character and glory. That four week old embryo has dignity, value, and worth because it reflects God (Gen. 2:26-27). 

That isn't how God created us, to grieve alone, and frankly, our culture needs to see that we love and value our children, and that they are more than tissue (Ps. 139:13-16). ... Job, a wealthy, dignified, widely respected man, was not silent when his children died, rather, he made a very public show of genuine grief, and that was not sin (Job 1:20-21)." see more at Theology in Miscarriage