Right now, something awful is happening with the other, more beautiful, half of me. Clint is experiencing some of the weirdest set of symptoms I've ever seen. Every part of his body has been affected. My once healthy and active husband is so riddled with pain in so many places that it is all he can do to get through his workday. My heart is in anguish at his suffering. He is sleeping so much, that I miss his companionship. With tears in my eyes and a very heavy heart, I admit I am afraid I'll lose him sooner than either of us ever imagined.
Whatever this is has hit him fast and hard. We have a few theories about what is going on with his body. However, there is no need to explore them publicly because that is all they are, just theories. The testing he receives next week will, hopefully, give us some insight around the first of March into what is going on and how we can best help him. I will say that nearly everything we are looking at is very serious and presents a life long challenge. While I pray whatever is curable or at the least very treatable, I do not think life as we knew it will return.
We've already seen some big changes, but I sense more drastic ones are to come. Whether those changes are in the next days, weeks, months, or in a few years from now, I don't know. I don't know if these changes will come all at once or be gradual. In the midst of so much uncertainty, and there is a lot swirling around in my head, I do know that God has a plan for us. He will not abandon us. I also know God will give us the strength to push past the fear, uncertainties, and frustrations to enable us to keep our focus on Him and not the challenge.
This life is just a drop in the bucket compared to what is coming. Whatever challenges you are facing, I encourage you to put God front and center. Let the situation that threatens to consume you shrink in your view as you focus on the Father. Seeking a remedy or resolution is worthwhile, but let growing closer to the One Who is all powerful, all knowing, and ever present be your ultimate goal.
"When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong, Because the LORD is the One who holds his hand. I have been young and now I am old, Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken Or his descendants begging bread. All day long he is gracious and lends, And his descendants are a blessing.…" Psalms 37:24-26