Baby Loss Months: Those Well-Meaning Memes

The meme is well-meaning. It claims that all mothers of miscarried/stillborn babies know exactly how old their babies would be if they were alive. This is my response. I am not against the meme. I am against unfairly burdening a mother in the baby loss community with other people's expectations of how their grief and love should look to others. 

Wendy Asbell:

xxxx I do not know the ages my miscarried and stillborn children would be right off hand because there were nine of them. That does not equate to me not caring. Nothing could be further from the truth. I think of them every day and have their names and dates they died in my Bible. I also have each of their memorial ornaments along with the cremation marker "coin" nailed above a doorway. I walk past their memorial in my flowerbed every day and thank the Lord they were made known to me and that I will be with them again. A well-meaning meme can not define how one grieves.

I absolutely agree. I know the ages the first two of mine would be but truthfully I forced myself to stop keeping track just to prevent despair. This meme is generalization, but I am glad you pointed out that is isn’t a hard and fast rule.

Wendy Asbell:

xxxxxx I am sorry for your losses and for the others who commented here who know this particular pain. I also purposefully chose to not recall dates. It's one of the choices I had to make to keep going in this life. I daily make a conscious decision to look to the future with them. I have a day set aside to remember them all with my family. I brought my situation to light here to encourage those who struggle with dates because I do not wish to see them feeling like they are failing their baby(ies). Baby loss has enough burdens as it is.