Video: Phantom Limb Pain Mirror Therapy

I learned about this through my prayer group for J. They say this can work better than pain killers. It's amazing how the brain God gave us works!

I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

Parrots Are Fun

 

Our children enjoyed their trip to Animal Jungle in VA Beach.

Updates on J. #3

J is an ex police man who accidentally shot himself while holstering his gun. The bullet entered his stomach and traveled down his leg severing the femoral artery. He bled out immediately. They managed to bring him back. During surgery, he had to be revived back three times. Surgeons tried everything they could to save his leg, but had to remove it on the 6th. The beginning of this story is here and the second part is here. Please pray for him and his loved ones especially my friend M.

Update 12/10/2013: J is continuing to improve. His kidneys have not been putting out urine until yesterday 300 ccs and today 400 ccs with contaminants. The doctor has set dialysis to be two days a week. The surgeon is going to try to do the skin flap surgery. Once that is complete, they will likely remove the trach. The decision on where rehab will be has not been made yet. J has been having tremendous trouble with the phantom pains, so please keep praying on that. As mentioned before, these are nerve pains and do not respond as well to medication. J is making progress every day. There are still things J needs prayer for, but we also need to thank and praise the Lord for ALL He has done for M. and J. through this. Rejoice with me in what God has done and in what He is doing!

Update 12/6/2013: from M: "As of today, John is officially out of ICU!" Praise the Lord!!!

Update 12/5/2013: from M: If everything goes as planned, J is out of the ICU as of tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then after about 7-10 days, if everything goes well...rehab!!!!

Update 12/4/2014 11:00 p.m.: from M: "Still no skin grafts during today's surgery. The wounds aren't healing as well as the doctor wants to see. He said they should be healing faster for a man of J's age. He suspects the kidney issues are complicating things. So I'm praying that we will see things turn around and wounds starting to heal faster!" Let's join her in prayer for faster healing so J can get through this part of his journey.

There was another I missed somewhere along the way: "As of yesterday he is officially tube free. He’s only connected to the IV’s and his trach/breathing tube. was ridiculously excited to be there when his first meal of pureed chicken, peas and mashed potatoes w/ gravy arrived. He managed to get down a few bites of the chicken and mashed potatoes after we decided to try mixing them together but vehemently refused the pureed peas (with no judgment from me, that mess looked awful!) But even if it was a 18oz Porterhouse steak, it would hold no comparison to how in love he is with being able to drink water freely now (a.k.a. “The Chalice of Life”) lol. I started out this sentence trying to put into words what the past few days have been like for me, but I’m having a hard time. The only way I know how to describe seeing him awake, alert, and back to the normal, laughing, joking person he’s always been – is it feels like someone has given me my breath back. The conversations we’ve had about the loss of his leg and his feelings on the subject have reassured me that not only is he going to make it thru all this, but he intends on thriving in spite of it. He reminded ME last night, that God has a plan in all of this and He’s still very much in control of our lives and what happens to us. We’ve caught ourselves looking into each other’s eyes and shaking our heads with knowing smiles because there are no words to describe everything we’re feeling. We loved each other before the accident, but something solidified between the two of us that, again, can’t be described. Some areas we can pray for: Emotional strength for him during this extended time away from his son, physical strength as his body continues healing extensive wounds and protection from infections and complications."

Update 12/2/2013: from M: "Dialysis went well this morning for J. The swallow study that they perform before approving the feeding tube to be removed and a diet ordered went great too! The doctor came in this morning and told him that any future debridements/bandage changes would take place downstairs in the OR with him under anesthesia (no more blackouts from the pain!) and they were going to start taking steps to get a physical therapy program going to get him out of the bed and gaining strength! They moved the room phone over to his beside and J actually called me today several times. I can't describe how it feels to hear his voice on the other end when I pick up the phone. He's been texting me today too, and it still blows my mind how far he's come to be able to operate an iPhone. When we talked on the phone he had figured out a trick to be able to talk more loud and clear by covering his trach opening with his finger. Every day, more and more, he's amazing me with the leaps and bounds he's making!! My heart is overflowing with gratefulness right now!!"

Update 12/1/2013: from M: "The surgery is over. The wound needed more clean up and debriedment than the doctor expected so he did all of that and hopes Tuesday or Wednesday to be able to complete the skin graft." 

Update 11/30/2013: from M: "His platelet levels have started coming up again today, so much so that the surgeon is going to possibly do the skin graft surgery tomorrow pending the outcome of his labs in the morning. His heart rate has been slightly elevated so they're keeping an eye on that. (Btw, the unit just received a patient out of a 10 hour brain surgery, so send any extra prayers that way if you can.)"

Update 11/29/2013: from M: "Today he had been scheduled for surgery to place a skin graft over the muscle they placed over his femoral artery last weekend. They canceled the surgery because his platelets are too low. There's only a couple of things that could cause this to happen. The one they're leaning toward is very rare but the only one that is a reasonable conclusion. It's an allergic reaction that his body could have developed to the heparin he's been getting. This reaction could be causing his platelets to be forming clots somewhere inside his body (no good at all) which would explain their absence in the tests. So they went with this theory and switched him over to a different anticoagulant and now he's bleeding somewhere in his digestive tract, which explains why I saw blood underneath him last night when he was moved." The 29th marked 1 month of J's hospital stay.

Update 11/28/2013 10:00 a.m.: from M: "Spending this Thanksgiving Day morning sitting beside J. Yesterday was a good day for him number wise, his white blood cell count was still down. But for whatever reason they didn't give him pain medicine ahead of time for his bandage changes and he blacked out twice from the pain. Afterward they hooked him up to a pain medicine pump and there have been lots of interesting conversations since. He's still running a fever right now of 101.4 - yesterday however, they took him off the ventilator completely and he's now breathing on his own. I don't think he knows I'm here right now. I think the medicine has him good and comfortable, at least I hope it does. So today I'm thankful for things too numerous to list. His life, of course is at the top of that list, but I'm grateful for every doctor that saved his life and for the nurses that have given such amazing care to him and in doing so, became like family to both he and I. Happy Thanksgiving to each of you."

Update 11/26/2013 2:00 p.m.: from M: "Some really good (snoopy dance worthy) news... Yesterday, J's white blood cell count was in the 30's. Today it came down to 18. That is THE lowest it has been since he went into the hospital. His fever is still around 100-101. They're trying to keep him as comfortable as possible. The nurses also suspect that he might be dealing with a touch of depression, so please pray that his spirit will be strengthened." 

Update 11/25/2013 9:10 p.m.: from M: "Definitely in need of prayers right now. J is very pale, clammy and disoriented. His BP is running low again. This is no good because the medicine that they used to bring it back up in the beginning was part of the reason why he lost his leg. Please pray. This infection has got to go!"

Update 11/25/2013 5:26 p.m.: From M: "The cultures show pneumonia and a staph infection in one of the wounds in his leg. Doctor says the antibiotics he's being treated with already should cover both of those infections."

Update 11/25/2013 1:00 p.m.: From M: "His fever is hovering around 101, and they've got the cooling blanket under him. The doctor is going over culture results right now and will be talking to J's mom in a few about whatever has come back. He's in a good bit of pain from the surgery today, so keep praying that God would touch him and give him rest. They're still giving him the drip of sedation so hopefully it will help him sleep. So many prayers have been going out for him. I can't thank you all enough for the cards, support and the jokes and well wishes that have boosted his spirits. The nurses love coming in and reading the web wishes that are posted on the wall in his room. A few have chimed in on the heated debate over naked cats (sphynx's) with some actually taking my side!"

Update 11/24/2013: Please keep praying: "Yesterday before his fever started coming back down, it went all the way up to 105. The night was pretty rough for him, Finally this morning the doctor put in orders for meds to sedate him and keep him as comfortable as possible while his body fights off this infection that they still can't seem to find or identify. In addition to the muscle transplant over his femoral artery yesterday, he had a huge amount of work done on him everywhere else. They went back into his abdomen and other places on his leg and did debridement (removing any dead tissue they found). Surgeons generally don't like to operate on patients who are already running a fever, and are autoimmune compromised, because things like what happened last night happen afterwards. The body thinks it's being compromised by organisms and releases all sorts of things to fight off whatever the culprit might be. But in J's situation, they have to stay up on removing any dead tissue so it doesn't affect the good around it. So they didn't have much choice. He's sleeping very soundly right now with his temp at about 100. Please, please keep praying & thank you so much for all the prayers already offered."

Update 11/23/2013: My friend M is very concerned right now. J had the surgery this morning, and it went well. But, his fever has been going up. It was 104 and rising at 5:30 today. Doctors say the only real reason for the fever would be sepsis. That makes it very serious. J and his loved ones covet your prayers. Please pray.

Update 11/22/2013: from M: "Tomorrow at 8 am, J is scheduled for a pretty serious surgery. When they first went in the night of the accident, they opened up his stomach yes, but they also opened up a large incision from his hip across to his groin. This is where the operation will be taking place. The femoral artery at this location was where most of the damage occurred. Right now, the artery is fairly exposed, but there is no infection in the area and things have been healing in a slow but decent fashion. But they need to protect the artery. 

So what's going to happen is the doctor is going to go into J's abdomen and take one of the nine muscles that are available to him, picking the one he already knows is good for having the most blood flow, and laying it like a blanket over the artery in the leg.

The plastic surgeon that's operating on him told us that during his time as a plastic surgeon at Walter Reed, he did the most deployments of any plastic surgeon in the country. He has seen many many wounded warriors and done hundreds of these types of surgeries on guys way worse off than J. He said J is young and strong, and while there are some complications with other issues going on, they feel that this is a good time to do this surgery. He's going to look around and check out some other issues while he's in there, but for the most part he's really confident that J is going to do just fine." 


Update 11/22/2013: from M: This was shared yesterday, but due to helping a friend, I am just getting it posted today. "They did a CAT scan on J earlier, and it showed what appears to be an abscess in his abdomen. They just took him down to the OR where they're going to remove fluid from it to test for infection and put in a drain. This might explain the extreme tiredness he's been having along with the fever. One minute he's fine, the next he's wiped out. Up and down. At least they've found it."

Update 11/21/2013: from M: "We're making strides again! Today he is breathing on his own with periodical times of rest on the ventilator. Blood pressure is stable and his fever is low grade. Yesterday when the doctor came with an update, he said that frequent little surgeries like what they did in his leg yesterday would be normal for a bit while they work to make sure that the tissue that is sloughing off doesn't affect the healthy tissue around it. Right now they don't see any that is infected, but his body is picking and choosing what to send blood flow to, so when that happens and tissue dies, it gets removed. He is really worn out today and desperately in need of sleep, which is really hard to come by in ICU. But yesterday while I was there in the afternoon, he was writing what he wanted to say really well, and his smarty pants self was showing thru in typical J fashion as he told me that the only good naked cat was a dead naked cat, lol. He's lucky he's so cute." 

I am still going to petition J to buy my friend M a Sphinx (or naked) cat. :-)

Update 11/20/2013: from M: "J is being prepped for surgery on his leg now. I believe it's somewhat minor, but when it's your 13th surgery in 3 weeks, everything is serious. I stayed with him last night till about 12:30. He was in better spirits and I was able to spend some good time loving on him. Thank you all for the love and prayers that you've been sending both of us. They're so tangible and real."

Update 11/19/2013: from M: "I saw him this morning for only about 45 minutes. I'm planning on going after work today and after the boys go to sleep tonight. From what I saw today, he is better physically, but I can tell tell that being unable to talk is putting a strain on him mentally and emotionally. When I came in he started crying. He's trapped in a prison of sorts having his hands tied down, unable to communicate, having to wait for someone to come into the room just to get their attention and hoping they can read his lips well enough to interpret what he needs. I can't imagine the awfulness of it all....and my heart breaks. He really needs us now at this point to pray for him and support him, visit if you want, if you can't, leave encouraging messages here I will make sure I read them to him tonight. If you can send cards please do, whatever we can to get him through this incredibly hard time. They're going to do a minor operation on his leg tomorrow to remove some more dead tissue, but he really needs support emotionally. My heart hurts so bad for my honey."

Hannah was Hungry

Clint and I were working together on a project we couldn't stop until a certain point. Hannah told me she was hungry. (She is about to enter a growth spurt and is hungry frequently.) I told her I'd make her a sandwich in a few minutes when I got to a stopping place. I guess she decided she'd show me she was able to make her own. Clint and I stopped as soon as we were able and went to make her sandwich. I sneaked up on her and took these pictures while she was busy at work! Not bad for a 4 year old!

She Keeps Me on Track

Maggie, right after a short hair cut, looking at my list and helping me plan my day.

3 John 1:2 Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.

Age of Entitlement

Proverbs 14:23 All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.

It seems like working hard and enjoying your own earnings has fell away in our society. We live in an age where people feel they have a right to certain things without having earned them or rightfully been given to them.There are videos online telling others how to scheme to get the most out of welfare. The people who star in these videos are quite proud of themselves for their ability to manipulate the system. Even many middle aged and senior adults still have not learned to enjoy what is theirs without coveting what does not rightfully belong to them which is why this way of thinking is being multiplied in today's young minds. 

If you have not worked for it, you have not earned it. If God has not allowed you to possess it, it does not belong to you. If He wants you to have it, He will put it into your hand. Believing you are entitled to something that is not yours is coveting. Being angry because someone else received something you felt you were entitled to is a form of rebellion against God. Self control isn't just something you have over your actions. You have the ability to control the mindset you choose to have. Controlling our will to line up with God's brings us joy and thanksgiving. The other way brings anger, greed, resentment, and division which are not fitting qualities for children of the Lord.

"Have you bought into the world's lie that you deserve what you want, when you want it? Dear one, don't go down that path of destruction! Although there may be joy for the moment, pain and suffering will meet you at the end. "An evil man seeketh only rebellion: therefore a cruel messenger shall be sent against him" (Proverbs 17:11). Jesus loves you too much to let your pouting spoil things. Trust Him to meet every need you have, and you'll never get burned again by the world's empty promises. "For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever" (1 John 2:16-17)." read the rest of the AOP Daily Devotional entitled Pouting Pains here.

We Were Designed to Enjoy a Better World Than This.

“Modern Christianity, in dramatic reversal of its biblical form, promises to relieve the pain of living in a fallen world. The message, whether it’s from fundamentalists requiring us to live by a favored set of rules or from charismatics urging deeper surrender to the Spirit’s power, is too often the same: The promise of bliss is for NOW! Complete satisfaction can be ours this side of heaven.....

We are told, sometimes explicitly but more often by example, that it’s simply not necessary to feel the impact of family tensions, frightening possibilities, or discouraging news. [We are told that] life may have its rough spots, but the reality of Christ’s presence and blessing can so thrill our soul that pain is virtually unfelt. It simply isn’t necessary to wrestle with internal struggle and disorder. Just trust, surrender, persevere, obey. 

The effect of such teaching is to blunt the painful reality of what it’s like to live as part of an imperfect, and sometimes evil, community. We learn to pretend that we feel now what we cannot feel until Heaven.

But not all of us are good at playing the game. Those whose integrity makes such pretense difficult sometimes worry over their apparent lack of faith. “Why don’t I feel as happy and together as others? Something must be wrong with my spiritual life.” To make matters worse, these people of integrity often appear less mature and their lives less inviting than folks more skilled at denial. And churches tend to reward their members who more convincingly create the illusion of intactness by parading them as examples of what every Christian should be. 

[But] beneath the surface of everyone’s life, especially the more mature, is an ache that will not go away. It can be ignored, disguised, mislabeled, or submerged by a torrent of activity, but it will not disappear. And for good reason. We were designed to enjoy a better world than this. And until that better world comes along, we will groan for what we do not have. An aching soul is evidence not of neurosis or spiritual immaturity, but of realism." ~Larry Crabb

John 14:3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.

I have counseled far too many women who keep a smile plastered on their face when their hearts are fighting some fierce battles to believe that any life is perfect. I know two women who are having a nervous breakdown. They couldn't go to their church friends and share because they when they shared just a little, they were judged and criticized. I could go on and on about the pain people are hiding from others. I know, it seems unbelievable that would happen in a church. Many years ago, I was chastised for "self pity" by a Christian family member for crying for the child I had just lost. I am not angry about it, but am still amazed that there was no compassion, no "I am sorry for your loss/pain" or "how can I minister to you," but sharp orders on how I must handle my grief. So, I know it happens and get why these women are hiding their hurts in a place where they should be receiving help.

God said there would not be tears in eternity, but He Himself shed tears on this earth. Stop being so critical of each other and start looking at the needs of the person! Stop competing with each other because all you are doing is tearing each other up and destroying your testimony to the world! When you pretend your life and your faith is perfect, you are dishonest and arrogant. Our Example didn't compete or try to "out Christian" others. Jesus went around helping the hurting. 

It's been seven months today. God's love and healing have been abundant in my life, but there are still moments when my heart hurts. I am not moving on as in leaving my babies behind. I am moving forward and carrying them in my heart. I have never been one to sit around and mope. But, there are those moments when the ache is so deep. Thanks to a godly teacher I am always aware that this life is quickly passing by...and so is opportunity to reach others...we must not waste a moment to do the right thing! God has shown me not to ask "Why me?," but "How can I use this to glorify You?"

Just as each living child I have has changed me and made me a better person (most mothers can relate to this statement), each loss I have had has changed me and made me better (only mothers who have survived and found healing for their losses can relate). For the mother grieving over pregnancy loss: I do not see myself as diminished as a mother because I lost babies. I am a better mother because I was willing to open my heart to having them in my life, loved them so much it still hurts, and consider them each a great blessing even if that blessing will be delayed. This is what God has shown me as I have sought Him for ways to help myself and other women who have lost children. 

Because of my eight losses in childbearing, I am more willing to share my painful experiences with people who are hurting. Where before I'd hesitate or make excuses, now I think, "Lord, because of the hurts you have allowed, I have the understanding of their brokenness, but please give me the words." I had some very incredible experiences ministering to other mothers in CHKD while Caleb was there. I've also had some interesting conversations with strangers while out shopping, and some people I have known most of my life have confided in me about their hurts too. 

Stopping to help someone who ran out of gas, I met a stranger who is a Christian and was going through a tremendous battle at home. She was already so weary, and then she ran out of gas. It was about all she could handle. I was able to build her up by listening and sharing some of what God has shown me. She cried and hugged me and told me I was sent from the Lord to her that night. I noticed the state trooper who used his lights to keeps us visible in the heavy traffic was quietly listening too. God did not allow me to keep my babies, but He gave me experiences that are making connections for Him. He can do the same in your life with your hurts, if you let Him. 

Please pray with me that God enables me to make the most of each opportunity that comes my way. I want to boldly share His love every time there is an opening to do so. I readily acknowledge that even though I want this very much, I am helpless to do it without Him because on my own, I can accomplish nothing.  

Homeschool Morning Chuckles

With the hectic pace of our mornings and my multitasking chores and giving directions to five children, I often forget where I put my phone, clipboard, coffee, etc. Today has been really busy with my coffee getting left behind on the table, counter, and deck. I just asked Bethany for the fourth time, "Have you seen my coffee?" She brought it to me with a smile and said, "Here it is. Drink it fast before you lose it again!" 

I laughed...and followed her advice! 

Urgent Prayer Request

Latest update is at the top of the page.

Update 12/7/2013: Thank you for praying. Jim was released last night. Shawna was released this morning. They both have some healing to do, but God is good!

Update 12/5/2013: They did do surgery. He got out about 3:45 but they did not tell the family they were doing it. They only operated on his face. He will need more surgery. There is a lot going on for this family. Please keep praying for them. 

Update 12/4/2013: Shawna is making improvements. Blood was drawn today, but no results were passed along as of 7:30 p.m. Jim is set for surgery tomorrow (5th), but no time is known as of the time of this writing. Monica said I will be the first to know, and I will post it here as soon as I know for our prayer warriors. I can not emphasize how badly Jim looks. Please pray for his healing. Pray for Shawna. She is going through her own health crisis while concerned for her badly injured husband and isn't able to be beside him. Even when she leaves the hospital, her own health crisis won't be over. She still has to go for testing to find out what is wrong with her pancreas. She's seen pictures of Jim, but when she sees him in person, I have a feeling it will be both good and difficult. There is another area of concern that needs prayer in this situation. Please pray God will move the right people to help.

Update 12/3/2013: Jim needs prayer right now. He is having chest pains. They have given nitroglycerin. Please lift him up and remember his wife, Shawna, who is still in another hospital. (The doctors got it under control. Shawna has been able to keep down light liquids.)

Update 12/2/2013: From what I understand: He has to have surgery on his left hand and plates put around his eye socket and vertebrae in the neck. They found an aneurysm around arteries going to his heart. He has to have surgery on both eyes on Thursday. He has something behind his retina. They think it is bone since he has so many broken bones in his orbital socket. I've seen the pictures of the car and him. The pictures....make you pause. Jim is very beat up. The car is unrecognizable. His wife was able to keep down a popsicle today which is an improvement for her. They were able to talk on the phone. I asked if someone could help them Skype so they could be a comfort to each other. Please keep praying for them. Jim has a long road ahead.

Update 12/2/2013: He has a broken clavicle and both hands are broken. He has a lot of cuts on both arms with a deep cut above left eye and above the ear and around to the back of his head. The bones in his skull around his eye socket are broken. He is very swollen around his face and jaw. He needs surgery, but at the time I updated this, my friend, Monica, his SIL, still did not know where on his body the surgery would be. His hospital team meets today to come up with a plan of action. His wife is still in the other hospital and is in a lot of pain from the pancreatitis. She will need further testing to rule out stones or a tumor. Monica was very faithful in praying for Caleb and our family and encouraging us during that time. 

Picture of the car is here. Thank you for the prayers for my friend's family! (I fixed the link. Thank you for letting me know.)

Update 12/2/2013: This was a very scary accident with a farm type dump truck. The family member's injuries were not life threatening. He needs surgery and is banged up quite a bit. A friend of mine and two friends of theirs saw some details that make it look like the other vehicle had issues that may have contributed to the accident. The family member in the hospital is still struggling and will be there for a few days and will need further testing beyond that. Thank you for the prayers. My heart goes out to them. Just one situation alone would be distressing, but to have both at the same time has to be very difficult and overwhelming.

12/1/2013: A dear friend of mine needs prayer right now. Their family member was admitted to the hospital. The spouse was in an accident while going home from the hospital and was flight lifted to another hospital. My friend is going to the hospital to tell the first family member about the accident of the spouse. Please lift the family up.

Gingerbread House Roof Tip

Almond slices make pretty shingles!

Setting the Mood for Christmas Morning

When my children wake up on Christmas morning, the morning we celebrate the gift of Christ, I want all of their senses to immediately recognize something special has happened!

Sight: The house is already decorated, and there are presents under the tree! The Christmas lights are left on over night which is the only night we leave them on.

Smell: I put a pot on the stove with orange rinds, cloves, cinnamon, and nutmeg. I usually have  candle burning in a safe place too.

Sound: I have Christmas music playing.

Taste: I have ham and turkey croissants waiting on the table.

My children told me last year how much they love and look forward to these things.

Around Here: December 2013

It is the one year anniversary of when my friend's son, her only child, was killed in a car accident. Rickey would have been very proud of how Liane crawled under her house in the dark and fixed her own water pump with Clint's help via phone. She didn't like it, but did it! Please pray for Liane today. 

Clint finally received his new office! He is busy ordering furnishings and setting it up so it works for him. He has been able to tackle several projects around the house. We need prayer we will have the energy and stamina to get the long list of things we need done before next spring when two large projects start. 

The pine tree Clint cut down for us was well over 78 feet tall!! I couldn't measure the very tip because he cut it off before I could get to it. 

I am sharpening my counseling skills as there has been a greater increase of women coming to me with heavy burdens. It seems to be where the Lord is leading me for at least the time being. Much of this has come about through my pregnancy loss. It has been an amazing journey so far. I want to learn from other lay counselors how to be more helpful to these women and how to boost their faith to give them strength. Herbal medicine is frequently tied into the equation, so I am going to deepen my studies there also. Please pray for me to speak God's truth in love and be a real help to these women and their families. I also have some other things in the works that have me very excited as well.

Clint and I are very much looking forward to some quiet time alone together at our new spot after Christmas and the New Year.

In late October, Brandon was asked to help set up the $10k community Christmas tree. He is currently helping with the community light show. This has been a delight to him and to us. He has also received yet another promotion at work which is allowing him to learn a different part of the career. He just bought a car too.

Amanda is doing very well in college and in her new job. She has short and long term goals in mind career and living wise, but I am unable to share since doing so might thwart her plans. Things are going very well for her, and she is very happy. She kept the theme she started with "Ruby" and named her new car "Pearl."  

At 14, Joshua is fairly strong, so now that my strength has mostly returned and my torn stomach has finally healed from the rough pregnancy, the two of us are able to tag team a lot of projects around the house. Since Brandon and Amanda have been working, he and I have become even closer. I am enjoying the time with him very much and know it will too quickly pass. He and I are constantly joking with one another. He touched Clint and I when he gave all of the money he had to help a family who is struggling with a lot of unexpected living expenses.

Caleb is doing well. His energy level is back, and he resumed normal activities weeks ago. His weight dropped off some once he started back to normal. Then he went through a growth spurt which makes him look skinnier. So, he still needs to gain some weight and build up his strength and endurance levels, but that will come in time. We have known three other families who have gone through appendicitis since he did. Caleb has been able to empathize with the other children. He is planning to build more birdhouses since the bluebirds like the ones he has made so far.

His mate is in the house Caleb built.

Bethany is a lot help with the younger girls. She is always pitching in to help with school work, meals, and bath time. Her sweet disposition makes her a real pleasure to be around. She is making jewelry and is looking forward to helping me paint her bedroom when I begin updating all five bedrooms.

Emily is 75% of the way through her online Kindergarten course! She is loving school! She loves to bake, so we are planning to make a lot of cookies for gift giving together.

Hannah has shot up in height! She is still my snuggle bug and loves to be rocked. She follows me around during the day which I am enjoying. You can cause an upset if you peel her banana all the way. She likes to eat them partially peeled "like monkeys do." :-)

Hannah on a pig tail kind of day!
Yes, I use the cast iron...on the stove, in the oven, in the woodstove, cooking outdoors here on our place, and over an open fire when camping. I am far too practical to have that much money in something that doesn't get used.

You Will Hear My Voice in the Morning, Lord

Psalms 5:3 My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O LORD; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up.

Sugar Cookies Recipe with Helpful Hints

I let each child cut out half a dozen cookies to set aside for their own decorating.

Then,we take turns cutting out cookies to put in a group for anyone to decorate.

Use confectioner's sugar to flour your work surface when rolling out cookies. This keeps the dough from getting tough and tasting too strongly of flour.

Recipe I use:

1 c butter

1 c sugar

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla extract

3 c all purpose flour

2 tsp baking powder

Cream together the butter and sugar, add the egg and extract and blend well. Mix the flour and baking powder together well. Slowly add the dry mixture to the wet. Dough will be firm. Refrigerate overnight. Roll out and then cut out and bake at 350 for 10 minutes or until edges are light golden brown. Keep a check on them until you know how long YOUR oven will take to cook them. Ovens vary.

Christmas I Corinthians 13 Style

Author Unknown

If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love to my family, I’m just another decorator.If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another cook. 

If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home, and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love to my family, it profits me nothing.

If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir’s cantata, but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.

Love stops cooking to hug the child.

Love sets aside decorating to kiss the husband.

Love is kind through harried and tired.

Love doesn’t envy another’s home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.

Love doesn’t yell at the kids to get out of the way.

Love doesn’t give only to those who are able to give in return, but rejoices in giving to those who can’t.

Love bears all things, believes all things hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails. Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust…but giving the gift of love will endure.

USAF Heritage of America Band Holiday Concert

The Asbell Gang fills up a sky box!

Our family has been blessed to hear the USAF Heritage of America Band play many times. Last year, we went to every night of their lively holiday performance at the Ferguson Center on campus at Christopher Newport University including Bethany's special night. Clint and I also attended their performance at the Sandler Center. This is a wonderful opportunity for large families to hear a live band and will make an enjoyable evening out for the entire family. They have also played at Yorktown Beach (click here to see our picture of them playing in 2010) and at the Yorktown Library before, so keep an eye on their schedule.

Thank You!

Thank you to everyone who made my birthday special! I appreciate everything! I am very excited about the new venture/expanded hobby! I am doing things I never thought I'd do. 

I was busy heating the food while Clint entertained yesterday morning. In the evening, he took over the reheating while I spent time entertaining. Today, we are going to spend some time together!

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and I enjoyed my birthday very much!

Thank you again so very much! I am feeling very blessed!

It's Another Pigtail Kind of Day

If you remember, Hannah had her hair cut off by Emily. So, Hannah is really enjoying her hair growing longer. She sang, "Pigtails, pigtails, pigtails.." after I put them in for her. Clint and I love her sideways smile!

Wait, she found a flowered and ribboned hairband! 
She wanted another picture to send to "Dad."

The house of the wicked will be destroyed, but the tent of the upright will flourish. Proverbs 14:11

Forget Me, Notice Him

I turned 45 today. More than ever, I want people to see Christ reflected in me and how I treat others. I want them to see Him in how I live. I don't care if they know my name. If they sense something different about me and look a little deeper to discover Jesus, I have done well. If they get to know Christ better because of me, I have served my purpose. 

If you see any good in me at all, it is because of Christ's work in my life. If you see my many failings, and I am sure you do, it is because of my sinfulness. 

More Like the Master
Charles Hutchinson Gabriel

More like the Master I would ever be, 

More of His meekness, more humility; 

More zeal to labor, more courage to be true, 

More consecration for work He bids me do.

More like the Master is my daily prayer; 

More strength to carry crosses I must bear; 

More earnest effort to bring His kingdom in; 

More of His Spirit, the wanderer to win.

More like the Master I would live and grow; 

More of His love to others I would show; 

More self-denial, like His in Galilee, 

More like the Master I long to ever be.

He must increase, but I must decrease. John the Baptist

It is a sad state indeed when we are more grieved by the afternoon traffic than by our own sin against the God of the universe. Anonymous

Give me the love that leads the way, the faith that nothing can dismay. The hope no disappointments tire, the passion that will burn like fire. Let me not sink to be a clod: make me Thy fuel, Flame of God. Amy Carmichael  

Prayer Request: FGH Alumni's Mother

Forest Glen alumni Liane asked me to post a prayer request for her mother, Carol. Carol has been treated for recurrent UTIs for over a year now. On Monday, Carol was found very lethargic with memory loss. Upon admittance to Obici, she was found to also be dehydrated with a UTI that turned septic. Her blood analysis showed a very serious infection. Hospital doctors said the doctor she was seeing did not do the required blood testing for infection, was not giving her enough antibiotic to eradicate the infection, and should have admitted Carol to the hospital long before this point. She is slightly better than she was on Monday, but this is still a very serious situation. This family has been through a great deal over the last year with the loss of Liane's son Rickey and Mrs K's need for surgery. Liane covets and appreciates your prayers for her mother. I know sweet Ms. K appreciates them too.

Inner City Ministry Opportunity

These men have me excited for what God is doing in the inner cities!

"We need partners that love Jesus and his kingdom and want to be a part of what God is doing in the city."

The Jubilee Urban Leadership Initiative is an urban leadership development program/internship, which seeks to provide sound theological training, character development and assessment of calling and gifting for urban, multi-ethnic leaders in the context of the local church.

• By the grace of God, our aim is to disciple men in following Christ and to raise up indigenous leaders from the city, particularly minority leaders (Matt. 28:19-20).
• Interns will be personally mentored by the Elders and Director of Jubilee Community Church.
• There will be a high emphasis on Biblical Manhood.
• The Jubilee Urban Leadership Initiative is a 12-24 month internship.

Article: Married men: your porn habit is an adultery habit

I am really starting to like this guy Matt Walsh!

"Listen guys, I know this is an uncomfortable conversation. But it’s time we man up and get real about pornography. First things first: if you’re married and you look at porn, you are cheating. Period. From a Christian perspective, this can’t be debated. Christ laid it out very clearly: if you lust after another woman, you have committed adultery. When we look at porn we are choosing to succumb to that lust; we are indulging it, fertilizing it, giving it respite in our minds. We are diving into it headfirst and soaking in it like a sponge. We are lessening ourselves, betraying our wives and participating in the violent exploitation of women (and girls). Or minds and our bodies belong to the Lord and to our wives; pornography, therefore, intrudes on their domain. If we look at porn, we are adulterers. We are adulterers in all the worst ways. ... How would you feel if you looked through your wife’s phone and found racy, sexually graphic text messages she’d sent to a man at her office? Would you be alright with it as long as she could prove she never had any physical contact with him? Or is that totally different because she knows the guy, whereas porn is anonymous and impersonal? See, we find ourselves constructing many arbitrary lines of distinction when we are determined to rationalize behavior we instinctively know to be immoral and wrong." You can read the rest of the article here.

I have two friends going through divorce right now because of the devastating effects of porn. I highly recommend you do your own research on how porn alters the brain. Self control is such a wonderful godly trait in both men and women. I am thankful I have a man who lives a self controlled life and examples it for our children.

Porn will not make you a better man. It will make you smaller. It will make you a liar. It will kill that instinct inside you that calls you to protect and honor women. It will turn you into something you never wanted to be. It will turn you into a sneaky, shameful pervert. It will turn you into an adulterer. ~Matt Walsh

How Do You Like the Oars on the Back?

I'll be sharing some pictures of our vacation in late Sept/early Oct. We had five wonderful days before Caleb's appendix ruptured. The timing was a huge blessing because everyone was in one place, so we had child care coverage.

The middles wanted to take their little boat, so Clint had to figure out how to get that loaded.

Thank the Lord for tie wraps and the deckbox! Clint even got the crab pot loaded! We had things loaded in the back of the suburban and in both Brandon's and Amanda's cars too.

The bike with the big basket is mine. I always carry water, first aid, and snacks for my active gang. There is a basket up front for Maggie, my 3 lb poodle, and her water, leash, and a snack.

my happy five, but missing two 

(or ten depending on your view of eternity and God's promises!)

Trials Show Love Is Genuine

I shared the bulk of this with a friend who came to me needing prayer and a listening ear. I expanded upon it and shared it here. 

These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold; though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.  – 1 Peter 1:7

Trials also show LOVE is genuine: your love for the Lord, love for each spouse, love for your children, and love for others. When you keep going to the Lord even when you are hurt and confused and when you keep pulling together for the good of each other even when things are hard, it shows your love.

That's why we kept praying for healing and trying when there were openings for 20+ years our external family. It's why we still are praying and trying. It's not real love if we give up because the Bible says real love never stops. (I Cor 13)

^^^^^^
Closer

People see the closeness of our immediate family and comment on it frequently. It is the result of God's work in our lives and our efforts to be humble before Him. We don't get it perfect, but our trying to obey Him is what He rewards. In this amazing spiritual journey we are on, Clint and I have been through a lot of trials in many different ways. God has used them to bring us closer to Him which trickled down to us being closer to each other as a couple and as a family. He's also used them to give us a broader ministry. At the same time, He has used them to instruct and refine us individually for His purpose. 

When I was very young, I sincerely cried out to the Lord, "Let me be as close to You as I can be on this earth. Let me know You as much as I can know You. Let me experience all I can experience of You while I am here." I've been told I prayed myself into a life of hardship. I believe I prayed myself to a close relationship with my Father.

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Humbleness in the Family

We are very honest with our children, "I have failed you in this way. I will probably fail again. I have hurt you. I'm sorry for my actions, words, and attitude. I will try hard not to do it again, but I am human and weak. I am trying to rely on the Lord to help me be better each day." We also tell them: 

"Anytime you think you are better in any way than someone else... 
Anytime you believe you have a right to hold anger in your heart... 
Anytime you feel you are more entitled to something than others... it's pride. Because we aren't to look at other people and the standard they set. We are to look to the Lord and live as He has said. The proud think they are there. The humble are still working towards it." 

^^^^^^^

Real Power

God resists the proud, but favors the humble. There is so much power in admitting our weaknesses and helplessness before the Lord and crying out for His help. "Be weak and My power will help you." It contrary to how we think, but it's God's way. There are so many areas of life to which this applies. 

It is such a simple concept...be weak and rely on the Lord's might. Yet, we strive so hard against it because of our pride...we WANT to be bigger than we really are. Self-righteous pride puffs us up. "No man can put on the robes of Christ’s righteousness till he has taken off his own." Charles Spurgeon

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Measure

We tell our children, "One of the hardest things to deal with in this life is that
you will be hurt by the people you love, and one of the saddest to accept is that you will hurt the people who love you too. It's a part of being a sinful human being in a sinful world. And we tell them:

How quickly you ask forgiveness,
how quickly you are willing to work things out, and 
how quickly you forgive 
is a measure of the love in your heart." 

^^^^^^^

Rewards or Battle Scars

“God will not look you over for medals, degrees or diplomas but for scars.” ― Elbert Hubbard*

Medals and degrees puff us up with pride if we think it makes us better or more knowledgeable than others. Scars are what Jesus left this earth with, and it is what we will leave with if we are truly following Him. What God calls us to is nitty gritty work, and we get pretty banged up doing it.

*I do not agree with Elbert's other writings where he compared modern day writers with prophets, but I do believe this statement is accurate.