My friend was abused by her husband. She did not tell me right away, but I could see some things were not right. Eventually, she confided in me.
I listened, prayed, and gave her support for over a decade while she struggled through some horrible things. Her husband was not only abusive, but he broke the trust in their marriage. He was also abusive to their children.
She attended their church weekly. He only attended a few times a year. He told their church his story, gained their sympathy, made up some things, and turned them all against her. The church demanded she go to a therapist (alone) or be excommunicated. She said she would if the therapist held certification. She arrived and the "therapist" did not have certification, so she left. The church excommunicated her.
She says this helped her, so I am sharing it here. It's very powerful when you realize just who your rescuer is.
https://www.flyingfreenow.com/who-will-rescue-me-from-emotional-abuse/
My long time emotional abuser was not my husband, but I also cried out to God in great anguish for help. He answered, and the person ended the relationship in a way that left me with no guilt and great peace. It's all on them. They admitted to me they were emotionally tormented after they closed the door on our relationship. That fact was interesting to me, because I had only relief and the peace the Lord gives. They then went around lying about me working hard to destroy my testimony and my relationships. Most people knew me well enough to know that there was more to the story than how it was presented. Many had seen the abuse over the years so they didn't believe them either. Several told me they were glad I was free. A very few have spoken ill about me or tried to place guilt on me without knowing the facts. Having found peace and healing after all those painful years where I was made to feel lower than the dirt on a worm's belly to the point I seriously contemplated suicide with a knife held at my wrist in the middle of the night, I could care less about what those few uninformed people think. Their opinions about me are insignificant compared to the freedom God has given me. I don't care who understands or not: I'm FREE, and nobody is putting those chains back on me! This is why I support other women who are struggling with abuse. -w
