Will you build or tear down?

Years ago, a person made me feel unloved, unwanted, and outright rejected. They had just met me and looked me up and down with pure rejection.

Over the next several years, I watched them tear down their own house with their own hands. As the years passed, I saw what they reaped. I saw what the great treasure they had thrown away. It pained me for their sake. I kept praying things would change, but some hearts never soften. Seeing what they reaped scared me because I realized how easily it can happen if we are not careful how we treat others.

I asked the Lord to keep me from doing the same. I did not want to be responsible for making anyone feel the horrible way the rejection had made me feel.

On the 19th of September, I was thanked in person for being so welcoming and loving. They said I have made them feel so loved and no one in my position had done that for them. The others had not even come close.

I praise the Lord for the rejection and hostility I received so many years ago and the lessons I learned from it. I learned how not to be. That moment took a weight off my shoulders. I can do better than what was done to me.

I don't want to tear down. That emulates the thief in John 10:10.

I want to BUILD. I want to represent Christ. I want to give a testimony for Him for His glory.

To God be the glory for the lessons He has taught me from the "less than nice" people. It really stinks to be treated as if you are unwelcomed, unworthy, and unwanted. By the grace of God, each of us can learn from those experiences and strive to do better. We can BUILD for His glory and our own benefit. Thank you, Jesus, for the work you have done in my life.

God is good!

First Meetings

The first time Clint took me home to meet his mother, she looked me over from head to toe a couple of times with a very rude and hostile face. Clint surprised her with my presence, but she was definitely not polite or welcoming. I learned later that she did not care for my mother, so I imagine that played into it. 

I have never forgotten how that look of contempt in those first moments made me feel unwelcome in her home and her life. I have also often reflected on how her first meeting and reaction to me told the tale of how the relationship would progress. It grieved my heart that she rejected me from the outset, and she died without making things right with my husband and me. 

I am so thankful for her example which led me to do differently so that I can choose to do better for the girls my sons bring into our lives.

Every time my sons bring home a girl, right off the bat, I crack a joke to make them laugh to put them at ease. Then, I hug them like my paternal grandmother, Elsie aka "Buttercup," taught me. She hugged everybody who come to her home. As a follow-up to our first meeting, I give them a bracelet with a Bible verse on it. I choose the verse based on what I learned about the girl during our meeting. So far, I have given four girls bracelets. I chose that particular one for Elora because I believe she has a lot of inner strength from her health issues.

Only God knows which girl I meet will be "the one," so I show all of them His love and acceptance with an eye on the future relationship. 

I have not come up with a gift for the young men my girls bring home yet, but I have been very friendly and welcoming. We had one who participated in Bible studies with Clint for a long time. I would like to find an appropriate gift that will remind them of how we welcomed them into our lives.

Dear Reader, Not every person who treats you poorly is a bad person. Nor does their dislike of you mean you are a bad person. It simply means the two of you do not get along. We humans have so many hang up and flaws that is natural that some relationships will not be what we would like even though we are thriving in many other relationships. Some people remind us of someone else or another situation we were in and cause us to put up defensive walls. I think that is what my mother-in-law tried to explain to me once when she apologized for how she poorly had treated me. What is wonderful is that when we are hurt by someone, we can CHOOSE to learn from them how to do better for the next person we encounter. My love to ALL! 

A Simple and Effective Way to Pray for Difficult People

This post goes with: Some of the Ways Our Family Prays for Our Enemies

This was included in a series of talks I gave to a group in the last few weeks: 

Enemy comes from the Latin word inimicus which comes from in meaning not and amicus meaning friend. Friend means someone with whom you have a mutual affection. The basic definition of enemy is "not a friend." The opposite of affection is indifference, disinterest, dislike, hatred, animosity, etc. A person who exhibits these qualities or works against your good is not a friend. That means they are an inimicus or enemy. 

God commands us to pray for our enemies which is hard enough. He also commands us to love them. I want to have integrity in my Christian walk and honor God as I try to fulfill this command to love and to pray. When I was a young wife, I did a study on enemies and asked the Lord how could I pray for my enemies with real godly love? As I attempted to reign in the feelings in that flesh vs spirit battle, how could I be certain that I was genuinely praying with love?

The answer was very simple... Whenever I pray for myself or my family, I include them and their family too. I pray for them the very same things I ask God to give me and my family because if I want it for myself/my family, then I know I am asking it out of love for them. It's genuine, easy, and after a while almost effortless. It becomes second nature to include them as I pray my way through my day.

If I ask the Lord to help me get through a difficult day, I pray the same for them. "Father, this day has gone from bad to worse. I am asking for your help in giving me strength and a renewed spirit as I move forward. I ask you to bless XXXXXX with the same on their hard days, because even though we don't get along right now, I don't want them to have to struggle this hard." Any prayer I lift up for myself, I lift up at the same time for them too. When I am doing this for them, I am covering them in prayer, like I would someone close to me, all day long with a right attitude. 

I've been doing this for many years, and it really helps me make that heart change from offended by them to forgiving and caring for them quicker and easier. Granted, at first, I am often praying out of obedience rather than feelings, but as I obey in this, my heart softens and changes. I submit to God's authority over my life with obedience, then He does a work in my heart.

If someone shares news of them, I feel like God is gifting me knowledge of another way I can obey by praying for them. If it is something good, I praise the Lord for it. It it is something sad or bad, I pray for their well-being through the storm. If I know of something they struggle with like a health issue, I add that to my prayer list also. 

Here's an invigorating truth:

If the other person is a sincere, dedicated Christian, they are probably praying for you just as hard as you are praying for them. Maybe they are praying harder! If two Christians are at odds but both are being obedient to pray for and show love to each other on that deeper level, it becomes 

a beautiful work of mutual grace and love 

that leads to restoration and unity. Both hearts are changed, and both lives are blessed by the other person's sincere prayers. It's another example of beauty from ashes.

Life is full of speed bumps, detours, and obstacles. It's hard to navigate through some situations. We often react with emotion and pride rather than looking at the situation factually with understanding from the other person's viewpoint. We are selfish and want our way even if that isn't what God wants from us. We also have an enemy who is working hard against us in our families and the church. God made us a diverse people and gave us different life experiences and temperaments. When you weigh these factors, it is natural that we will have challenges in relating to one another. 

Sometimes it is simply a dislike of the person that needs to be addressed in our hearts since we are called to love and esteem each other higher than ourselves. When that happens, we can ask God to help us learn things about that person that we can admire, appreciate, and respect. Other times, the situation is created by sinful ways of relating to each other. Sometimes, it is a misunderstanding or misconception. Many times, it is because we call our half hearted attempts at forgiving as successful when they are not. If we can not be polite and welcoming to each other, we have not honored God by truly forgiving in a way that changes us or our heart towards the person. We are also rebellious and make a lot of excuses.

That we have problems getting along with each other comes as no surprise to our all knowing Father. He even uses our disputes and our reconciliations for our good and His glory. He tells us to love the people who are showing us animosity and pray for them. While I believe we should look for other ways as well, we can obey God's commands to love and pray with very sincere prayers. All of His ways are good!

But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 
Luke 6:27 

But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. 
Matthew 5:44-48 

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 
I John 4:7

Repost: Some of the Ways Our Family Prays for Our Enemies

Reposted by request.

This goes with:

A Simple and Effective Way to Pray for Difficult People

This is an incomplete list of things our family has prayed:

• come to the knowledge of their need for Him
• 
  
• grow closer in a relationship with Him 
• 
  
• to turn from sin and walk uprightly
• 
  
• to hunger for the Word and have a craving to spend time with Him
• 
  
• to give them knowledge of how to live better for Him
• 
  
• to give them wisdom
• 
  
• to enable them to put on the full armor of God each day, walk in righteousness, and be led by the Holy Spirit, and stand strong against the attacks of the enemy
• 
  
• may God's truth rule in their hearts, be in the forefront of their minds, and be on their lips
• 
  
• to have insight to my position and for God to give me insight to theirs and to increase our love for Him and each other so through understanding and love the relationship can be healed for His glory 
• 
  
• that they will do His will with surrender, humility, and all of their strength with pure motives
• 
  
• reveal hidden sin and pull the weeds in their heart
• 
  
• to die to self and live for Christ
• 
  
• to provide for all of their needs and to rain down blessings on them
• 
  
• to help us work more effectively together despite our differences
• 
  
• to give them a bold witness and expanding testimony for Him
• 
  
• to heal their sickness and bless them with good health
• 
  
• to send godly people to walk beside them in life
• 
  
• to strengthen and protect their marriage and help them have fun times together as a couple
• 
  
• that things will go well with their children and grandchildren
• 
  
• that forgiveness, healing, understanding, peace, unity, and genuine love between us can be reached so we can fight the real enemy that we share Ephesians 6:12
• 
  
• that they will learn from this experience and do better in the next situation so, if they call themselves Christians, they do not do more damage to God's name
• 
  
• that they will walk in their spirit instead of in their natural sinful flesh
• 
  
• that they are more grieved and focused on their sin than they are upset by the sins of others
• 
  
• that God will equip them to speak His love and His truth into their loved ones lives
• 
  
• to have fun, relaxing times with their family and loved ones
• 
  
• that they will be careful with their testimony, bold in their witness, and unashamed of the gospel
• 
  
• and so on

These are the same things I pray for those in my circle as well as myself. 

For those who know:

We sent this to silly Mustache Paul:

If you can take what you are clinging to so tightly and lay it down at the foot of the cross, maybe you will realize your Tricky Dicky silly games are not fit for mature Christians. Don't you want to grow in Christ? Did your text honor the Lord? That being said, we nearly had to take Clint to the hospital late last night. We killed off the virus, but he started with an aggressive chest infection. His O2 level dropped to 88%, and he was quite pale. I saw the change and immediately switched up what I was giving him. He is back up to 93% O2 and improving today. You should really focus on yourself though. 

For our sincere Christian friends: Please join us in praying for the estranged person who thought it was hilarious to send sick people a text and then lie about who they were. We know God's timing is perfect, and He uses these things to get us to pray. We are not sure of their salvation, so that is the ultimate prayer need.

"Mustache Paul"

You revealed exactly who you are, and you don't even know how you did it.

Freaking hilarious! We are glad we had another opportunity to share the gospel with you. We forgive you. We love you!

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. Ephesians 5:15-17

Just be in your place.

"Don't be so quick to write off those who are not 'like-minded.' Not everyone is at the same place. Don't feel like everyone has to be standing exactly where you are on every issue. The fact is, not everyone will agree with you on every issue. Just be in your place. Speak and walk in truth. Serve your Brothers and Sisters without judging them. Seek peace and let God be God!" ~from Homeschooling for Eternity

We are called to be united with believers in the Gospel. The secondary matters do not change the need for unity or the Reason we are united. Remember your place. We are servants of the Most High. Servants. We serve Him. His Word says to be united and to outdo each other in love. It does not say to argue over everything else. -Mama Asbell

Praise Him Always

I'll raise my hands and praise the God 

who gives

and 

takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm

And I will lift my hands

For You are who You are

No matter where I am

And every tear I've cried

You hold in Your hand

You never left my side

And though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm

lyrics from Praise You In This Storm by Casting Crowns

His People are Under His Protection

As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, 
Genesis 50:20a

The name of the Lord is a fortified tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.
Proverbs 18:10

Are you showing grace or reacting with injured pride?

About twelve years ago, I was reconnected with a friend I grew up with. We did not see each other after I married and moved in 1988. As we caught up, she told me she became very rebellious as an older teen and lived a "hell on wheels" lifestyle. She abused her body and her relationships and had some bad consequences as a result. The most touching part of her story was put this way. "I do not know how my mama put up with me. I did terrible things to her and know it was hard for her to see what I was doing to myself. I know I brought great shame to her. But, she kept on loving me no matter how I behaved."

Dear Reader, I know her mother very well and remember when she came to know the Lord. I also know that her mother chose to respond with grace rather than react to injured pride (and fear for her child's well being) because that is exactly what Jesus did for her...and for me...and for you. Remembering what debts were paid for ourselves, let's resolve to work harder to respond with grace instead of reacting with pride when others disappoint or hurt us.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. Romans 5:10

when you realize just who your rescuer is

My friend was abused by her husband. She did not tell me right away, but I could see some things were not right. Eventually, she confided in me. 

I listened, prayed, and gave her support for over a decade while she struggled through some horrible things. Her husband was not only abusive, but he broke the trust in their marriage. He was also abusive to their children. 

She attended their church weekly. He only attended a few times a year. He told their church his story, gained their sympathy, made up some things, and turned them all against her. The church demanded she go to a therapist (alone) or be excommunicated. She said she would if the therapist held certification. She arrived and the "therapist" did not have certification, so she left. The church excommunicated her. 

She says this helped her, so I am sharing it here. It's very powerful when you realize just who your rescuer is. 

https://www.flyingfreenow.com/who-will-rescue-me-from-emotional-abuse/

My long time emotional abuser was not my husband, but I also cried out to God in great anguish for help. He answered, and the person ended the relationship in a way that left me with no guilt and great peace. It's all on them. They admitted to me they were emotionally tormented after they closed the door on our relationship. That fact was interesting to me, because I had only relief and the peace the Lord gives. They then went around lying about me working hard to destroy my testimony and my relationships. Most people knew me well enough to know that there was more to the story than how it was presented. Many had seen the abuse over the years so they didn't believe them either. Several told me they were glad I was free. A very few have spoken ill about me or tried to place guilt on me without knowing the facts. Having found peace and healing after all those painful years where I was made to feel lower than the dirt on a worm's belly to the point I seriously contemplated suicide with a knife held at my wrist in the middle of the night, I could care less about what those few uninformed people think. Their opinions about me are insignificant compared to the freedom God has given me. I don't care who understands or not: I'm FREE, and nobody is putting those chains back on me! This is why I support other women who are struggling with abuse. -w

Pride makes for a struggle.

Pride is what makes us struggle and strive against each other. 

When grace is truly at work in our hearts, the struggle ends. -w

for the sake of whatever it is that they love more

People hate the truth for the sake of whatever it is that they love more than the truth. They love truth when it shines warmly on them, and hate it when it rebukes them. Saint Augustine

Notes from the Study on Respect and Honor

While we have another site for the group, I will continue to share these studies here for the benefit of those who come here.

Some of the most popular posts on this blog are the ones that deal with difficult relationships. Some of these posts have been printed out and made part of studies in Sunday School classes. Families have studied them. It is so rewarding when someone writes us and shares that they found healing in a relationship after surrendering to the Lord! It is very rewarding when relationships have been restored in our own lives!!

“Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king.” 

I Peter 2:17

Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!
Psalm 133:1

honor: respect, high regard, recognition of worth shown; it is something given, not taken

respect: reverence under God; proper appreciation for the person/relationship God created
duty: what is due
due: owed, fitting proper, suitable to that particular person and their relationship to you
due honor: obligatory high regard for the person and their relationship to you

Respect in I Peter 2:17 comes from the Greek word timēsate which means to 'to act to show great value' to something. This is a challenging concept for our time and culture in regards to our relationships with them. We are told to look out for ourselves and to compete with others in every other. We also have differences of opinions that make us feel our point of view is superior to theirs, so we do not show respect our political leaders. We concentrate on someone's flaws or how they hurt us instead of focusing on their strong points, God given talents, and the position they have in our lives. We can't have those attitudes and obey these verses. They are incompatible.

Back to competition. If we were to obey these verses instead of setting the example of outdoing each other in so many areas, maybe our youth and young adults would not be struggling so hard with inadequacy. Our culture doesn't want to "keep up with the Jones'," they want to outdo them. 

One thing we keep hearing as we minister to young people is that they feel they don't measure up, aren't good enough, are failures, will stumble and fall again, will continue to face rejection no matter how much they work on themselves, etc. If God's people "showed great value" to each other, instead of competing with each other, maybe these young hurting young people would have a better grasp on their value to God and their value to their brothers and sisters in Christ. Maybe they would not be so preoccupied with their worth, but instead, be focused on the building the worth of others. 

Philippians 2:3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 

"Respect seems to be a hard thing for us to grasp in our present society. ... A sense of place is important for a Christian. We cannot give honor duly-where it is due-without a sense of place. Who is this person, who am I in relation to him? We are people under authority at all times, owing honor and respect to a king or a president, to parents, to master, teacher, husband, or boss, to ministers and elders and bishops, and of course always, and most importantly, to Christ." Elisabeth Elliot

In the list of Sacrifices that Please God in Hebrews 13 is "Keep on loving each other as brothers." That's a direct command not a suggestion, and it is first on the list. 

We should respect and honor the person and the relationship they hold in our lives. This starts with God and includes spouses, family, friends, acquaintances, strangers, authorities over us like pastors, teachers, law enforcement, law makers, and our president. It is an action: Show "respect to everyone." It does not say "if you feel they are worthy" or "if you feel like it."  

Illustration: I do not always get things right, and often fail miserably, but in this instance I did manage to stand out: I was very polite and considerate towards a very difficult person my husband worked under. I was not happy with him for the harm he caused my husband and certainly did not "feel like it." The man was having sex with non English speaking temp workers in his office. There were many other things to dislike about this person. I was the only person at the event who treated the man with politeness. After the event was over, I was pointedly asked by several of Clint's co-workers and a spouse of a co-worker why I was "so nice to him." They were not happy with me. I was able to share that it is God's way for His people to behave. I stood out because I acted in obedience out of my fear of and love for the Lord and was able to share my faith when others noticed. Planting seeds to draw others to Jesus is a big reward to those who love the Lord. I know this may be different than you see people in your church behaving, but it is what we are called to do. Don't look at other fallible Christians for how to live. Look to God's Word. 

"A small spirited person man will not be willing to see another receive credit or honor or position. All of us, I suppose, have sometimes grumbled inwardly seeing someone receive a place he did not deserve. "It is not fair. He is not qualified, whose idea was it to appoint him? How did he get on the board? How come I didn't?' The last question is the one that touches the deepest root of our unwillingness to honor another: our own pride." Elisabeth Elliot

"A second reason for the confusion in the matter of respect...is the current notion that everyone deserved tit-for-tat equality. This is one of the excesses of democracy, which ought not to be confused with Christianity. The truth is that not everybody has a right to everything." Elisabeth Elliot

"No doubt, God must sometimes allow the wrong person to receive credit in order for us "right" ones to discover how full of pride we are." Elisabeth Elliot

Feeling entitled does not guarantee your right to something. Your sense of entitlement does not change the way things are, the relationship, or the other person's right to what they are due. It takes humility to accept you are not entitled to something someone else has rights over.

Those who struggle with jealousy, selfishness, coveting, will not be happy for those who are respected or rewarded for their position/relationship. They will find many ways to grumble and complain out of their own discontent with their blessings.

"Christianity teaches righteousness, not rights. It emphasizes honor, not equality. A Christian's concern is what is owed to the other, not what is owed to himself." Elisabeth Elliot

What if you are not in a relationship with the person to show them respect and "keep on loving?" Disagreements and estrangements happen. If you have made good efforts to correct the relationship, you have done your part even if you were rebuffed. If rebuffed, don't take it personally. That's on them. Your behavior is on you. See it as God showing you what is going on in their heart and a way you can pray for them. Wait on God to work on their hearts while you work on yours, keep praying, keep studying God's Word, and be patient. If you do not feel God calling you to make a move, leave the door open, and then be still. Let God do His thing in their hearts. Not all relationships will be healed on this side of eternity. People hold grudges for a lifetime not realizing the price they are paying for them. It could be God is hardening their hearts to protect you from more of their harmful behaviors. Trust Him.

Our family can give testimony that God heals estrangements when both parties are committed to honoring the Lord in those relationships by working on their hearts and praying for and reaching out to the other party. It takes both parties having a dedicated mindset of pleasing God first, even over their own comfort, and counting "others more significant than yourself." I don't know about you, but to experience that kind of healing is a life experience, a faith experience worth all of the pride swallowing/pride choking that had to be done. I am truly thankful my children got to witness it! It has been so faith building! God gets the glory for making these big changes on both sides!

Renewing Our Minds in Difficult Relationships

Some people refuse to bend when someone corrects them. Eventually they will break, and there will be no one to repair the damage.

Proverbs 29:1

The Bible tells us how to give proper place to God and others. We don't like submitting, renewing our minds, or disciplining ourselves. We want our friends and family to tell us we are justified so we can continue in the way that we want to go. We want to dwell in thoughts that promote self and support our thinking. We want to avoid having to make an apology because it will cost our pride far too much.

When we are humbled before God and are giving Him the right place in our lives, we do not care if it costs us to admit the other side has a valid point. When our minds are renewed in accordance to God's Word, our selfish ambitions die, and we esteem the other person as better than ourselves. Submission to the authority of God through our obedience brings control to our flesh. We know a humbled apology to an offended person is pleasing to the Lord and necessary for growth. Once our flesh is under submission to the Most High, we gain in a renewed mind and spirit.  

Division is not something a sincere Christian can happily accept. It should grieve the Christian's spirit and motivate him to work towards healing and restoration, if at all possible. Our relationship with God affects our mindset towards other people. The closer we are to the Lord, the more we want His way in our lives. Our thoughts and actions when dealing with people will reflect our relationship with Him. Unity becomes a focus, because unity is the work of sincere Christians who are willing to sacrifice fleshly pride for God's way to strengthen and grow the church. 

God can heal relationships if His people give Him proper place in their lives. My family has seen this happen, and we praise the Lord for it!! It is a very beautiful and precious experience. It takes a lot of work of looking squarely at self and surrendering to God's will. It takes unity minded mature Christians on both sides who are willing to die to self and focus on their own shortcomings while bearing with another's. If you are under God's authority instead of your own, God can do a beautiful work that will amaze you and those watching! 

Whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence.

Proverbs 15:32

Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid
Proverbs 12:1

So I beg you, brothers and sisters, because of the great mercy God has shown us, offer your lives as a living sacrifice to him—an offering that is only for God and pleasing to him. Considering what he has done, it is only right that you should worship him in this way. Don’t change yourselves to be like the people of this world, but let God change you inside with a new way of thinking. Then you will be able to understand and accept what God wants for you. You will be able to know what is good and pleasing to him and what is perfect.
Romans 12:1-2

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion,  then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant,
Philippians 2:1-7

What a blessing to rest in this verse...

This was shared with our local group of young people: 

The sinfulness in every person's heart, including mine, clouds situations and makes others think they know you when all they really know is their perception of you based on so many different hidden factors that I wonder how we can ever have enough pride to think we can even begin to guess what is going on inside someone else. 

We are all guilty of it. 

We are all also victim of it at one time or another. 

When you find yourself wanting to defend yourself, I encourage you to be still and know God is enough for your situation. Forgive them quickly (Ephesians 4:26) and resolve to love them with kindness (love is an action verb) even when they are unloving towards you. 

Work towards unity with other believers. The old adage is true, "United, we are strong. Divided, we fall." When there is a a division, we are more vulnerable to sinning. Some people may never want unity, but that speaks of their heart just as loudly as the actions do of those seeking it. 

Dear Reader, You pull the weeds in your heart, do the right things, and let God deal with them. It could be your Father, who knows all and sees all, is protecting you from the trouble they would stir up because their hearts are not truly right with Him in that situation.

I know that there is someone to defend me and that he lives!

And in the end, he will stand here on earth and defend me.

Job 19:25

and the Lord will reward you

If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat;

    if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.

22 

In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head,

    and the Lord will reward you. 

Proverbs 25:21-22

Love Finds a Way Positive CoVid Story

If you want to know if someone loves you, watch how they treat you and others. Words mean nothing without actions to follow them up. Genuine love is not easily hidden. It's actions are for all to see...

Wife takes job as dishwasher so she can see her husband with Alzheimer's

A Tip for When Christians Disagree

When we have a strong difference of opinion, we should stop and pray for God to reveal to and convict the other person where we feel their thinking is off.

BUT, 

at the same time, 

we should also pray for ourselves that if OUR thinking is off, that God would convict OUR OWN HEART. 

Self-righteousness quickly says the other person is 100% wrong. 

Humility acknowledges we could be the one in the wrong. We may not know or understand all there is of a situation.

Sometimes, we possess different understandings of a situation and see things differently. 

If you have prayed on it a few days and still feel strongly about it, then ask God to prepare both of your hearts and for the appropriate time and place to discuss it with the person. Do so with love and grace keeping your eyes on the goal. 

None of us gets this right all of the time. When we fail, we need to show ourselves grace, make right where we failed the other person, and resolve to try to do better next time. 

Dear Reader, We all lose with self-righteousness and pride. With God's love and grace and our own humility, we stay united and are very effective working in God's kingdom! Shouldn't that be our #1 goal?

Life Tip: How to Pray for Others

The group of godly women who shepherded me and many others through our early motherhood were a group of older ladies scattered across the world who got together to fulfill the call in Titus 2:3-5 to teach the younger women. The younger women couldn't find anyone around them to teach them, and the older women couldn't find any younger women who wanted their godly wisdom. 

Finding each other online was a blessing to both sides. I was so richly blessed by that group until I left it due to time constraints. Now, I work with younger women to pass on what I learned and to encourage them in their calling as wives and mothers.

MANY of us younger women did not have support locally even within our own churches. Many of us who felt the Lord's leading to be a stay at home mother also felt the call to homeschool. The homeschooling community was still small and not very organized. Many had experienced the same outspoken and harsh judgements from family and friends as I had. If you mentioned you homeschooled online, it often triggered someone else into saying something negative. God very often leads His people to go against the flow.

We were ravenous for help, support, encouragement, and fellowship with kindred sisters! The godly wisdom and support we found online was critical nourishment for our battered souls. 

LIFE TIP: Wouldn't it be troubling to get before the Lord to hear you negatively influenced someone who was correctly hearing from the Lord? They were obeying where God led them, but you, also a child of God, came along, looked at the situation with wordly eyes, criticized them, and made their journey harsher, and impeded them in growing in Christ. Wouldn't that be awful? and shameful? That should trouble our hearts so much! 

If someone is doing something you still feel it is wrong for them, humble yourself first. Pray for yourself before you pray for that person. You may be seeing the situation through your own prejudices. Search Scripture. You could be the one in error. 

If, you have sought the Lord and still feel you should speak, stop, and pray again. Ask God to give you the right words, prepare their heart, and prepare a time where they can hear your concern without distractions. Then, if you still feel led and see the time opened to you, go forward and discuss it with an open mind. Many women applied this in their marriages when they felt the Lord calling them to homeschool, but their husbands did not. The results of these heartfelt prayers in the marriages and other areas were astounding! 

Real life illustration: 

In my community, there is a Christian man who is heavily tattooed with full sleeves on both arms. Many Christians feel this is a sin and are openly judgemental regarding his inked limbs. He has had the same mean spiritedness towards him as I did regarding staying at home. Different topic; same harsh criticism. People didn't want to hear me about why I made the decision I did. People didn't want to hear him either. Without true dialogue, they just made up their minds. 

I'm going to tell you something radical. Objects do not have a soul and therefore can not be properly assigned a spiritual designation. If you are hung up on objects being good or bad, you are focusing on the wrong things! Where does sin originate? What is sinful? Mark 7:18-23 You do not have to fear objects, but you should be concerned with the condition of your soul! Tattoos, themselves, are not sinful. It is the heart condition of the person who wears them that matters to God.

As a young man, the aforementioned guy was heavily into sin. Vile things. He had tattoos that reflected that lifestyle. Once he was redeemed, those sin promoting tattoos caused him anguish. He decided to change the story his arms told to tell another story. A better story. He had the plan of salvation in pictures tattooed over the old, worldly tattoos. It cost him a lot of money and was a very painful process. 

It was one of the most beautiful sets of tattoos I've ever seen. Not for the artistic value but for the eternal. He wears cut off sleeves most of the time, even when it is cold, because he does not want to miss one opportunity to share Jesus. 

God's love and redemption are written all over his arms! 

And he readily tells others!

If that isn't beautiful, I do not know what is!

Dear Reader, Jesus did not come to save us from objects like tattoos. He came to save us from the sin (rebellion) in our own hearts. Instead of reacting with emotion to how you feel about someone's choice, think. Is it really sin? Are you really truly concerned for their well being or are you offended/challenged/convicted in some manner? Be honest with yourself. Be considerate, gentle, and graceful with others. Please pray for yourself first before you try changing someone else's course. You just might be the one who needs to make a change.