How to Help a Grieving Friend

 I keep sharing this because so many have told me it has helped them on both sides of the table in different types of grief including divorce. 

Repost from 10/15/2018: This post has helped a lot of people on both sides of the coin and has been printed as a handout.

Believe me, it's no time for words when the wounds are fresh and bleeding; no time for homilies when the lightning's shaft has smitten, and the man lies stunned and stricken. Then let the comforter be silent; let him sustain by his presence, not by his preaching; by his sympathetic silence, not by his speech. -George C. Lorimer

October 15 is the national day of remembrance for miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss. I've lost nine precious babies to stillbirth and miscarriage. Much of what you read here can be applied more broadly to include other types of loss and pain.

Here is a video from Megan Devine, which a friend recently shared, that shares about what works for those grieving and why other things like "cheering them up" do not. It will better equip you to help the hurting in your life.

When I lost one of my miscarried and stillborn babies, one of the things that helped me the most was someone telling me, "This sucks!!" I knew by their succinct words that they understood my pain. You don't need eloquence to show compassion. Your job isn't to move them to where you want them to be; it's to meet them where they are.

One of the most hurtful things ever said to me, for example, was by a Christian in law who claimed to be pro-life who told me less than 24 hours after the loss of my baby that crying was "feeling sorry for myself." Their words created a lot of pain in my heart. They did not care what I was going through, and their words showed it. Their words suggested I was doing something wrong by mourning my baby. I share this with the goal that others won't say such hurtful things in a woman's time of great pain. It is not helpful, but it is very hurtful. 

Crying is a normal, natural response to loss. Jesus cried in grief too. Would you have said, "It's self pity for you to cry since you are going to raise Lazarus anyway?" Or, would you have shown Him understanding and compassion? Think before you speak. Words hurt and can't be taken back, but they can be forgiven. Be gentle and kind with each other even when you do not understand what the other person is going through.

Please don't add your misplaced expectations to someone else's struggle. You will only burden them further. Acknowledge a person's right to feel as they do. 

If you have had a pregnancy loss, I am praying for you today and offer my friendship. My email is in the header. 

A pharisee is hard on others and easy on himself, 
but a spiritual man is easy on others and hard on himself.
-A.W. Tozer

I had a friend comment:

That person that said that to you COULD NOT be a Christian! They may be a self proclaimed Christian, but if they really had Christ in their heart they could have never said something so cruel and cold! 

My reply: Christians aren't perfect, and we fail each other often. We have to bear with each other in love to keep unity in the church. I have forgiven them completely and have love for them. Grudges lead to bitterness and that's a weed I don't want growing in my life. It's too destructive! I pray for their well being and success of their business daily. Doing that honors Jesus and gives me peace and keeps me growing in Christ. Their words are a good example to show others what not to say to someone because it does not in any way help. It creates another burden on the person. If we claim to be pro-life, but deny a mother the freedom to mourn a pregnancy loss, we really aren't very pro-life. We have to come beside people and meet them where they are in whatever circumstance life throws at them...not drag them along to where we want them to be. I fail people too and am thankful when they forgive me and bear with me in love.

Jeremy and Bethany Engaged!!

This picture and their story will be featured in the train's newsletter.

 

On the 12th, Jeremy took Bethany on the Epicurean Express Dinner Train in Troy, WI.

Then he proposed to her.

She said yes.

Jeremy caught this picture for us right after she said yes.

She is wearing the proposal ring in the photo. They will pick out the engagement ring together.

A few weeks ago, Jeremy called Clint and asked for his blessing. Clint told him it came down to one question, "Who is Jesus Christ to you? If that answer is correct, I know the rest will be prioritized correctly." Jeremy told him Jesus is his Lord and Savior.

This is from Bethany: "There was actually another couple who wanted to propose. They called the conductor, and the conductor called me to see if we could switch from a 2-top to a 4-top for their proposal, and we would get free drinks to compensate. I agreed. After I told Jeremy, he secretly called them back and explained that we couldn't do that...because he was also going to propose. It was the first time in many years that the railroad had any proposals, and they suddenly had two in one night." What a neat story!

A big thank you to Jeremy for including the rest of the family in on this including sharing a picture of the ring before he proposed. It was a lot of fun for our family.

Mt Olive, you can do better.

0ver a year ago          today's order

Look at the level of seeds. 1/4 or more of the jar is seeds.

The jar on the left is from a previous year. There is no date code on it, but the label style should make a date range possible. 

The one on the right is from today. It was in my Walmart pick-up order. If I had seen that on the shelf, I would have walked to the produce department and purchased fresh jalapenos. I did contact Mt Olive with this image. I will use the seeds and leftover juice in a soup, but the product a consumer is purchasing is sliced jalapenos, not the seeds.

Sweet Pepperbush aka Poor Man's Soap

 

Sweet Pepperbush Clethra alnifolia aka Poor Man's Soap. The leaves produce a lather when mixed with water and rubbed vigorously. Most sources say it is the flowers, but I have never had success with the flowers lathering. The flowers smell spicy and sweet. Pollinators love it. It is an air purifier meaning it can take polluted air and give back pure oxygen. I am drying the leaves to see if I can extract a "soap" that will lather. It never hurts to try, and I might learn something new.

Prepping vs Hoarding and Knowledge

A friend of mine was encouraging others to prepare their homes for emergency situations. I shared this:

"To point out for those who do not know, hoarding is panic buying in the moment of a crisis. Prepping is buying a little extra each time you go to the store. This thing that time, another thing the next time, and so on. Hoarding/panic buying clears the shelves during a crisis. Prepping is done slow and steady so it does not have a noticeable impact on the store shelves.

Even if your home and all of your belongings wash away, knowledge is carried with you. You can help yourself and others if you know how to purify water, start a fire in the rain, use plants as food and medicine, build a shelter, signal for help, etc. Knowledge of survival skills is free to get and easy to practice. It's all over the internet and easy to find. It won't cost you a thing to acquire that knowledge, but it may save you or someone else. We frequently took our entire family of 9 into the woods "camping" for survival skills training.

I have had a major fire loss, had my home flooded and heavily damaged due to a hurricane, been stranded over 24 hours somewhere very remote and precarious in the rain without a cell signal, had medical emergencies of family members, etc. My survival skills have come into play each time to keep us safe and comfortable. Even if you can't fill your shelves now, you can gain knowledge.

I had a baby as a hurricane hit our area hard. (I actually had babies in two separate hurricanes on the same date years apart.) On this occasion, I came home to a filthy flooded house damaged from flood waters and wind. We had dead animals because a few of the livestock would not cooperate with my husband. I had four small children and a newborn with filth and destruction everywhere. I got right to work when my feet hit our place. My family did whatever I asked to improve our situation. We had no power, no running water, and worked our tails off from sunup to sundown from day one after the storm. We quickly installed a hand pump to get water from our well. We had plenty of bleach and vinegar on hand, so we started cleaning. Because I knew how to wash and sanitize my home and belongings without electricity and running water, our home was the first one in a long list in our neighborhood that was not condemned for living. I washed the flood-soaked clothing and linens in a tub in our pop up. My arms were exhausted, but I kept at it. We worked hard to save what we had. That FEMA agent told me our efforts to sanitize everything had saved our home from being condemned. As we quickly found out from our neighbors, we spared our family a lot of trouble with government intervention. My tip: Do your best to clean before they get there or you may lose access to your home until it meets their standards. I learned a lot from that experience.

How to Extract Limonene and Lemon Extract for Baking

You can extract limonene from organic lemon or other citrus peels). In addition to the incredible health benefits, it can also be used as a flavoring in food. In addition to this extract, I have also ground whole lemons (peel and all!) in the blender and used a couple of tablespoons at a time in a smoothie to get the health benefits. "The therapeutic effects of limonene have been extensively studied, proving anti-inflammatory, antioxidant, antinociceptive, anticancer, antidiabetic, antihyperalgesic, antiviral, and gastroprotective effects, among other beneficial effects in health. In this review, we collected, presented, and analyzed evidence from the scientific literature regarding the usage of limonene and its activities and underlying mechanisms involved in combating diseases. The highlighting of limonene applications could develop a useful targeting of innovative research in this field as well as the development of a limonene-based phytomedicine which could be used in a variety of conditions of health and disease." Source: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29427589/

A friend asked me for more info:

Extract: You can extract limonene from the organic peels using 80-proof Vodka (a menstrumm). Vodka is the choice most herbalists make because it does not impart a flavor. You want the yellow part only for the extract. The white pith will make it bitter which is not good for baking. I like to make strong extracts, so I fill the jar up to the shoulder with lemon peels. Then I pour the vodka over it. I work out the air bubbles and add more vodka. Keep it in a dark place for at least 6 weeks but longer is better. There is nothing wrong with leaving the peels in while you start using it. It will keep extracting. You can keep topping it off with vodka for a while too. Some of the best herbalists in the world will leave the plant matter in the jar for a year or longer. Whole lemon: Chop the whole lemon and put it in the blender. I have a Ninja and it did quite well with it. It looks like tiny minced bits when it is done. This adds a bit of a bitter flavor to plain water, but it was still drinkable if I did not go too heavy. It is better in a smoothie though.

Don’t Wait on the Government—Here’s How We’re Saving Our NC Communities

Bethany's Birthday

Illness struck Bethany and Jeremy the day before her birthday. They had planned a nice week of activities, but they had to give them up. Jeremy was going to make her a chocolate silk pie as her birthday dessert. Bless Jeremy's heart, even with a fever and feeling horrible, he made sure she had a birthday cake. He still plans to do the pie after he is well.

Jewelweed

Jewelweed is mostly used externally by herbalists today. It makes a great salve that can treat skin irritations like insect bites, poison ivy, stinging nettle, hives, sunburn, and more. The cooled water from boiled leaves and flowers not only calms the itch and burning, it also helps the rash of poison ivy heal faster. The Cherokee, Iroquois, Chippewa, and other tribes used it internally and externally for a wide variety of ailments. Mine is being extracted in olive oil along with plantain for a salve I will make in the very near future.

Usnea spp

 

 Usnea spp.(Usnea barata in picture) is a wonderful antimicrobial (antifungal, antibacterial, antifungal) to have on hand. Thanks to a friend, I was able to harvest 8 ounces of it yesterday which is quite a lot. A tincture is the works on my shelf already. You know you have usnea when you pull apart a stem and see the little white cord (see inside circle). Unless your friend hates the sight of it and tells you to take all of it 🙂, you should harvest from the ground after a heavy storm. It is very slow growing.​

Great Blue Lobelia

Another fantastic foraging find: Great Blue Lobelia! It's now in a jar being extracted in alcohol to make a tincture that will treat colds, coughs, pneumonia, bronchitis, asthma, fevers, etc. I have also used it in the past to help my muscles relax so I could go to sleep. Lobeline, the chemical in Lobelia, can also treat drug dependency, caffeine, and nicotine withdrawal, depression, ADHD, Parkinson's disease, and more.

Goldenrod Better For You than Green Tea

Today's foraging harvest was goldenrod. My girls learned from me as we harvested and prepared it. Goldenrod is NOT what gives you allergies. It is insect-pollinated (heavy, sticky pollen). It is ragweed and other wind-pollinated plants that cause hayfever, etc. Goldenrod HELPS allergies. It also treats pain, sore muscles, colds, flu, and contains powerful saponins and antioxidants that we need for good health. Goldenrod tea is higher in antioxidants than vitamin C and green tea. The flowers and leaves can be used for tea, linaments, oil infusions, tinctures, etc. The tender leaves in the spring can be used in a salad or soups. Goldenrod is anti-aging, anti-inflammatory, anti-fungal, and has some antibacterial properties. It has been used for diabetes, enlarged prostates, liver problems, gout, arthritis, muscle strains and sprains, skin wounds, fungal infections, kidney issues, etc. It took us 30 minutes to pick and prepare enough of this natural medicine to last us a couple of years. We made a linament and a tincture. I have more drying in my attic for teas and a salve that I will make at a later date.

News coming?

If the person sticks to what they told Clint on the phone last night, we should have some exciting family news mid-October. That's all I can say atm.

Snakeweed aka Broomweed

I was excited to find this broomweed aka snakeweed (Gutierrezia sarothrae) which is in the Aster family. I plan on making traditional brooms out of what I collected. It has been used to treat fevers, snake bites, insect bites, diarrhea, colds, headaches, indigestion, and more. It was also used by different tribes to make ceremonial items. It is poisonous in larger quantities and should be kept from grazing animals. I watched the happy little bee for a few minutes before moving on.

Sumac-ade from Winged Sumac

Another one of my foraging finds from a few days ago. At this time of year, you can find winged (aka shining) sumac berries and make sumac-ade which is better than lemonade if you get the berries at the right time. There is an acidic coating on the berries that washes off some with each rain. This is what makes the sumac-ade. The ID is easy because of the "wing" along the leaf stem. Rhus Copallium is a cooling astringent that can be used as a tonic. It has also been used as an antiseptic as a mouthwash and for treating wounds. For sumac-ade, soak the berries in water for about 15 to 20 minutes. Move those berries around to loosen up the malic acid (also found in pears, apples, blackberries, etc). You can soak it longer, but it may get more of an astringent taste which is still safe to drink. You can sweeten it to your liking. I like asking people to rub their fingers over the berries on the bush and then lick their fingers. If the berries are harvested at the right time, their eyes will get big because their fingers can taste quite tart! I'm drinking a big glass of sumac-ade as I type this post. Yum!!

Please pray for Karen

9/20:The wound care doctor told Karen the same thing. She can no longer receive treatment there and needs to enter end of life care. I believe she has now had three doctors tell her that if she will not do the treatments they want instead of the treatments she wants then they will no longer help her. "Their way or the highway." She just had a Skype appointment with an alternative doctor. The visit went very well. Please pray God provides for her to be able to afford the appointments and treatments. Karen has survived stage four cancer quite a bit longer and much more comfortably than they predicted she would WITH their chosen treatments. Please keep praying for her and her family. I forgot to get an update about Myles but will check in with her again when I return home.

9/11: Karen was told by her oncologist that he will no longer see her since she will not submit to his order for end-of-life care. She wants to continue to fight for her life instead of giving up on it. He will no longer see her. She is going to see an alternative doctor to see if there is anything they can do for her. This will be very costly and out of pocket for her. Please pray this doctor gives her something that can help her. Myles is having seizures every other day right now. Please pray for him and for Karen's comfort and peace about Myles' care. She wants to tend to her son, but she is weak and unable. 

9/5: Karen is hanging in there. She had two hard doctor's appointments yesterday. Myles is still having seizures. Please keep praying for her. She struggles more in the evenings when she is tired. Please keep praying for deep, restorative sleep. I was asked what was the "something else" she is using to ease her pain in the deep open wound with exposed nerve endings. It is DSMO (dimethylsulfoxide).

8/22: Karen saw the surgeon. The appointment was not what they were hoping. She was encouraged to think "End of Life Care." She says we are all already on End of Life care. She will keep fighting and looking for answers. Please join me in prayer that God will greatly multiply the good effects of everything she does to improve her health. She also needs prayer for deep restorative sleep. The arm with the open wounds is very painful and has a lot of edema. The exposed nerves are painful but she puts magnesium and something else on them to calm them down. Please pray Myles is completely healed of the seizures. He is having significantly fewer these days. Please also pray for her 21-year-old son's ministry to continue to thrive for God's glory. Then there are the financial needs and the work needs of their organic farm. 

8/19: Karen said she could feel the prayers lifted for her. She thought she'd have to miss her alternative therapy treatment (biphotonic scanner), but she had the strength to go. 

Update 8/14: Karen is asking for prayers for peace and strength. Things have continually become worse for her. Thank you for praying with me for my friend.

Update from Karen 8/12: Things have been getting worse every day, I saw a new doctor on Saturday and she was shocked. She sent to the lab for blood work and X-ray, couldn't get the X-ray done yet, on my way to wound care appointment. New doctor wants me in with a general surgeon asap and she thinks he's going to do a lumpectomy along with surgical debridement. Myles had a GM on Saturday morning, but he went 11 days without any which is tremendously incredible

thank you for praying and for continuing to lift me up. The pain and bandages twice daily have been agony and I really need strength to endure.

Update 8/13: Update from Karen on yesterday's appointment: An answer to prayer about the new testing available, they did a culture and they are sending it to a very extensive lab in Arkansas that tells my doctors everything in the wound including fungus

Thank you for praying for my friend and her family. May the Lord bless you for the prayers you uplift on their behalf.

July 12: Karen reached out to me last night and requested prayer for extreme pain and for her teenage special needs son's seizures, fainting, and vomiting. Would you please intercede with me on her behalf? Thank you and may the Lord bless you abundantly for praying for my friend.

Active Shooter Near Us?

People have been asking which is how we were informed. Here is what I know. The sheriff and deputies responded to a situation that may be an active shooter on a major highway in our county. It is an area many of our family members pass through daily. However, it may just be someone practicing with a firearm. We live in a rural county. The area where they say the shooter is is also an area where people target practice. The shooter and the firearm have been apprehended. That is all the deputies will say. I'll try to follow up. We are all fine. We feel very safe. Thank you all for your concern. We love you too!

Update 7:09 p.m. It was a reckless person shooting at a wild animal. No charges were filed. Btw, it was a concerned citizen who used the word apprehended. Somehow that carried over as I made the post in an attempt to answer some questions. The deputies used the word "located." 

Cattle Egret Visiting

We now have a cattle egret visiting. This is another rare bird. The last one I had on my property was some years ago and was mentioned in the blog. I'd take the time to look it up and post a link, but I am in the middle of preparing over 500* domestic birds and animals for us to be away for a couple of days. There is an off-roading adventure with some foraging in my very near future. (*The number is constantly changing with births, hatches, sales, harvests, and passings. The incubator SHOULD explode with 400-500 quail chicks in a couple of weeks, and there is a big harvest coming up.)

The animals will be looked over and cared for, but I do a lot of prep work to make it extremely easy on the helpers. I try to make it so the helpers can verify needs are met with a glance. Then they just make sure each critter is up and moving around and looking healthy. This makes it a quick and easy walk-through. It is more labor intensive for me, but I make it easy so people are very willing to do it for us.

If I can get a picture of it, I will post it here for my fellow bird-loving friends. If I am home or have an adult child available, I'll let you come onto the property to view it.

Beauty Berry

The berries, we used to make a beautiful jelly. We will be using the leaves to make an insect repellent. The leftover stems will become compost. The Native Americans used different parts of the plant to treat arthritis, colic, dysentery, and more. This plant contains an antibiotic that targets certain strains of MRSA and salmonella. Beauty Berry is a cooling astringent herb with diuretic, antibacterial, antiviral, astringent, antifungal, anti-inflammatory, and antioxidant properties. Thanks to a great friend who spent a day foraging with me in Suffolk and NC, I was able to harvest 20 cups of berries, a couple of paper bagfuls of leaves, and three bushes of my very own!

Joshua and His Girl

Joshua and Jurnee

Update on Boid the Wood Stork

Boid has moved onward. We enjoyed the month he was here. The eBird reporting website is now showing him in a state park close to our home. 

My new egg basket

Thanks, Clint!

Canned Quail

I started pressure canning in my early 20s. I had no one to teach me, so I learned from books I purchased. Today it is easier and free with online resources. At first, I would not pressure can meat because I could not get around how it looked. It took a few years, but I grew up mentally. Today, I love it for the time-saving and convenience. It also doesn't cost me anything for it to sit on the shelf. Food in the freezer requires electricity (actual cost goes up as long as it is in your freezer) and is vulnerable to power outages. This is how I do "fast food" for my family. Open and add spices, heat, and eat. I can serve a meal faster than I can drive to the restaurants within 5 minutes of my home, wait for my food, and drive back home. This is part of the quail four of us harvested earlier this week.

Wood Stork, A Rare Guest

 

 

This wood stork has been hanging out at our house for a few weeks now. He or she has an orange bill which indicates it is an immature bird. It goes off to hunt in our river and comes back here to take naps and roost at night. 

I logged the sighting under my account on eBird. I did not share my name or exact location. I shared my handle which has my first name only and pinned the spot near my road. A delivery driver and fellow birder used his database to find me. He got my phone number off of the sign at the end of my gated driveway. And that's how things got started. Thank you, Lord, for moving Clint to install that gate a couple of decades ago! 

I am not feeling 100% (EBV flare-up due to chronic ear infection due to the e tube dysfunction). So, if Brandon or Clint can be around, we are letting people drive into the front yard, take pictures, check the sighting off of their birding lists, and leave. They are not allowed out of their cars or to get too close to where "Boid" perches. 

Boid has a few favorite spots on our property and doesn't mind our family. Its pretty good until we are closer than six feet. I've made it my job to give Boid a haven here until it moves onward. 

From what the birding community has told me, this is the first one in our county and surrounding area. The closest one to us was in VA Beach.

While I am a person who does not like a lot of people around, I understand the exuberance. I am a nature lover and a bird watcher. I used to keep a book and check birds off my list too. I have made treks to see birds but always when they were on public lands. As long as people are respectful of our property and the rules we put into place, I will work with them. 

If they aren't respectful I will charge them with trespassing. 

If you are a birdwatcher or ornithologist and would like to take a gander at Boid, please contact me at the email in the header of this page. My love to all!

Neil Med Eustachi

I have eustachian tube dysfunction. I learned about the Eustachi device from my friend Tom. While I usually have to use it a few times a session a few sessions a day, it works to help my ears drain. My Eustachi device failed after only a few uses. It would not turn on. It was one month out of warranty. Clint contacted Neil Med, the maker, and they are sending me a new one free of charge. So here is a shout-out to a company that stands by its products and treats its customers right! 

I also use their sinus rinse bottles to prevent sinus infections. It is very helpful after I cut grass or work outdoors during peak allergy seasons.

Cyberattacks on 911 systems

Because the 911 systems keep going down in different regions of the nation, I encourage you to put the nonemergency numbers for the police, fire, and rescue in your immediate and surrounding area in your phone. Making sure I can get help for my loved ones was worth the little bit of time it took.

Who and What are your worshipping?

 worship (n.)

Middle English worshippe, from Old English worðscip, wurðscip (Anglian), weorðscipe (West Saxon) "condition of being worthy, dignity, glory, distinction, honor, renown," from weorð "worthy" (see worth) + -scipe (see -ship).

The sense of "reverence paid to a supernatural or divine being" is attested by mid-13c.

The original sense is preserved in worshipful "claiming respect; worthy of honor by virtue of character or dignity" (c. 1300), preserved as a respectful epithet of address to magistrates, certain Freemasons, etc.  source

******

Who and what do you talk about the most? Who or what do you spend your money on? Who and what do you give your time, attention, and affection? Who and what do you put first in your life? Do you watch TV more than you read/study/listen to the Bible? Do you spend more on a vacation than you do ministry all year? Do you say you want more of Jesus in your life and less of you but then do nothing to spend time studying your Bible to learn how to be more like Him? 

Brandon's New Tesla

  

 

Brandon surprised us on our anniversary weekend by dropping by with his new Tesla. He let us check it out and take turns driving it. What a fun (and fast!!) treat! He even took it to our home where he let Emily and Hannah drive it.

We have extended our anniversary getaway. We were going to be home this Tuesday night, but we will stay in our cottage until next Tuesday.

Our love to all!

Giving Thanks in August for What God Has Done!

When people ask me how I have stayed in a relationship with one man for 38 years, I point them to the Lord. 

If you are both making God a priority, you will treat each other well. Perfection is not required, but dedication and consistency are.

Clint asked me to be his girlfriend in 1986. We married in 1988 - 36 years ago!

God is GOOD!

Sunbeam at Our Vacation Cottage

Clint and I are celebrating our anniversary week. 

We have been very happily married for 36 years and have been a couple for 39 years. We have 16 children with 7 here on earth and 9 waiting for us in Heaven.

We have seen our humble little farmhouse grow into a homestead and become abundant. We have not only fully supported ourselves all these years, but we have been able to help many others. We give God the glory! He has had His Hand on us.

Please pray for Timmy

 My neighbor had his life savings stolen from him AGAIN! The last time, it was 11k. He has been able to save $5k in the few years since. He is very distraught. Please pray for him. I have asked him to start a fundraiser through GiveSendGo and also suggested he contact the local news station. 

Two Men

Two of our sons chilling for a minute at our cottage.

Thoughts on Notebook and Digital Planners (Organization)

I was asked what planner I used. I am not very trendy. I truly do not care what others are using. I care about what works best to keep me at my best. Here's my answer:

I found the digital and notebook-type planners had me spending a lot of time keeping them filled in with the different tasks and appointments. There often was not enough room in the designated places in the pretty notebook planners to add all I needed to do. I had to add things to a piece of paper and put them in the planner. The notebook type is also pricey (compared to a simple spiral notebook) and they didn't meet my needs. 

Putting tasks into the digital calendars also consumed more time than I liked. I had to stop everything to check or maintain them, which slowed me down. It negatively affected efficiency.

Over time, I came up with something that works well for me: I send "subject line" reminders to myself from my phone (gmail) to my laptop (yahoo mail). I have the app on my home screen. It only takes seconds to send myself a reminder. I can do this while out and about when I am in the middle of something at home, on a shopping trip, or when someone reminds me of something in conversation, and late at night when I am too tired to move. It works anytime, anywhere. 

From the list of reminders sent to my email, I make a written list each day (sometimes weekly) of what I plan to do and where I need to go. It only takes a few minutes at the beginning of each day. As I complete the tasks, I mark them/delete which only takes a split second. 

For repetitive events like special days (birthdays, anniversaries) and yearly gardening/animal husbandry/home and car maintenance reminders are on a digital calendar that automatically sends a reminder to the same email. I only open the digital when I add something to it which is infrequently now that it is all set up. It remembers the annual things for me and sends the reminders to the email which I use to make the daily/weekly lists. It's very easy and convenient.

We recently set up an appointment for our dog to be spayed. If the appointment was this week or next, I'd send it to my email. Since it is three months out, I made a reminder in my digital calendar which will remind me the day before and the day of the appointment.

For my needs, this method is simple, efficient, free, and has worked very well for about 20 years. And, that is very key. We each need to find out what works for us. I found the fancy notebook planners and the daily digital planners took time away from my tasks and became an extra thing to maintain. I needed something that lightened my load instead of adding to it.

Prayers Please

Brandon just texted me to let me know he will be late for our planned visit due to a car accident. He said he is good. That's all we know right now. Prayers appreciated. Hopefully, he was off the interstate.

Update: He was in Richmond. A motorcyclist clipped his car. Brandon's car has broken plastic, but it is drivable. The motorcyclist got a reckless driving ticket. HW has a policy of immediate drug testing when there is a car accident no matter who is at fault, so Brandon is on his way to get that done now. That's all we know until we talk to him tonight. Thank you for the concern, calls, messages, and especially for the prayers.