How we do New Year's Eve

Previously shared after a New Year's Eve: 

I have several friends who were upset about something that was on one of the programs last night. I do not know what they saw, but it must have been pretty bad. As Christian parents, Clint and I got tired of the worldly performances many years ago. This is how we do it with our family:

For the last several years, my husband has lead our family by finding something more appropriate on YouTube to watch. What we watched last night did not have any talking or performances. 

We saw the ball and countdown display and there was something similar to techno elevator music playing (not my fave, but better than any of the NYE performances). The only thing the camera was on was the "ball." We don't start watching until 10 minutes before. We play games, talk, watch movies, snack, etc. You know, interact with each other.  

When the ball drops, we tell each other Happy New Year and then pray thanking God for the last year and asking for His leading and blessing on the new year. That prayer has been our tradition for over 30 years now. Then I go to bed. :-) Clint and I ride out early the next morning and pick up coffee and breakfast sandwiches for everyone.

Why would Christians choose to watch what everyone else was watching if it is going against our beliefs? We don't have to follow the crowd. We can choose better. We live IN this world, but we have been called to live separate from it.

Unspoken Prayer Requests

There are lots of things I see in our family that could use some prayer. Some of our members are edging closer to the world and forgetting their faith, mostly to please others. I ask that you keep us in prayer. 

Spiritual warfare never ceases, and I think a lot of us are seeing it ramp up in these last days on earth. We can take hope and rejoice in the FACT that God never stops working on our behalf. 

My love to all. We are praying for you too, dear reader whether you be family, close friends, new to the blog, acquaintances, and estranged family.

If you would like us to pray specifically for you and yours, please contact me through the email in the header.

Tramates Versicolor aka Turkey Tail Mushroom

 

I've been taking Trametes versicolor aka Turkey Tail Mushroom off and on longer than some of my children are old. A long time ago, I shared my usage of it along with other mushrooms for EBV with the now-late renowned herbalist Stephen Buhner. He put my results on his website so my experience could help others. 

This humble little mushroom is an immune modulator that bolsters our immune systems. It can lower blood sugar, support gut health, lower blood pressure, lower inflammation, protect the liver, promote wound healing, etc. It is taken along with ginko to protect brain health in Alzheimer's patients. It inhibits tumor growth and detoxifies the body. Called Yun Zhi, it has been and is used frequently in Chinese medicine. This fungus is available free if you know what to look for, where to find it, and how to make use of it.

There are no deadly look-alikes to Turkey Tail. Turkey tail is relatively easy to correctly ID if you know what to look for to rule out the others. I found mine growing on the side of a log in a forest. I harvested 1/3 of it and left the rest to keep growing which is the common practice for wildcrafting. When foraging anything, always learn about look-alikes which can be deadly. 

FYI: The second picture is what it looks like after I blend it with a little ethyl alcohol in my blender. I added more alcohol after that process which you see in the third picture. Why blend it? The blending macerates the marc (herb) so the menstruum (liquid) can extract more of the medicinal properties. Knowing the chemistry of which menstruum will extract what plant properties is a key to successful herbalism. 

Do your research and remember to check for contraindications for existing health issues you may have. Happy herbaling!

indigenous knowledge of native plant medicines Quote

"Over 200 drugs that have been or still are listed in the Pharmacopoeia of the United States or the National Formulary were first used by American Indians, but neither reference acknowledges this fact. Thus, the tremendous benefits we've derived from indigenous knowledge of native plant medicines go largely uncredited." M. Kat Anderson USDA NRCS

It's Peppermint Season again!

A few years ago, I started using peppermint candy for "snow" under my vintage ceramic Christmas trees. My family loves it. They take them by the handful and give them out to coworkers and friends. So far this year, I have purchased four bags of the 600+ count Starlight peppermints from SamsClub. When Emily saw me putting them under the trees last year, she said, "Peppermint season!!" It is worth doing just to get that reaction.

My Birthday and New Adventures

The countdown continues: It was my birthday recently. I am now 56 years closer to meeting Jesus face to face!

I have started a new chapter that may lead to a bigger chapter. I have started a more in-depth herbal medicine learning experience under a Naturopathic Doctor, clinical herbalist, and veterinarian. Once I complete this, I may pursue becoming a naturopathic doctor. 

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. Philippians 1:21 

Looking for Live Plant Bignonia capreolata

I am looking for a rooted section of Bignonia capreolata aka Crossvine to grow at my home in Virginia. I would be happy to pay for shipping and for the cost of the plant. If you have some, please text me at the email in the header of this page. Thank you! 

Rejoicing again!

Amanda informed us last Sunday that November 19th is the day she and Joe will have their wedding. We are very excited for them both.

Giving Thanks

   Happy Thanksgiving!

to our family and friends
near and far, old and new
close and estranged
You are loved!

Most of our family* is gathering together to give thanks to the Lord, enjoy a feast, play some games together, and watch some movies.

Wherever you may be on this day, I hope you take time to thank the Lord. No matter what is going on in the world, there is always something for which we can be thankful.

Endless Probiotics

I am not too keen on paying $46 for one month's supply of probiotics for one person. However, I do not mind paying $46 + milk for an endless supply of probiotics for two people. Not only can you TEST your probiotics by following yogurt-making steps,* but you can keep producing beneficial gut bacteria which can save you a small fortune. I used two capsules of BioGaia Osfortis, Women’s** Probiotic for Strong Bones, Immune Balance & GI Wellness, Contains L. reuteri 6475 to make a quart. It was thinner than I liked when I checked it the first time, so I put it back in the cooler for another 12 hours. Today, I will start more using a couple of tablespoons from the jar to make the next batch.

*I've used the cooler method for making yogurt for over 20 years (maybe 30). It's never failed.

**It is beneficial for men too.

Prayers for a Big Decision and Big Commitment

Something has been heavily on my heart for the last year and a half. I feel like it is the Lord leading me in a direction. I know that if He is this, I will succeed. I am asking prayers for God's wisdom and leading over the next few days as I try to make a decision. If I do it, it will be a huge time commitment, a lot of work, and will definitely clarify a role in my life for the future. May the Lord bless you abundantly for any prayers you life on my behalf. 

Breast Cancer? Here's some encouragement....

 https://www.facebook.com/tigerlilyfoundation/videos/453116816950864/ copy & paste

Don't Take Today for Granted

 https://www.rwbakerfh.com/obituaries/Lisa-Gail-Mack?obId=33842399

My friend, Lisa, did not get to say goodbye. Another mutual friend has been struggling since hitting a deer which resulted in at least two broken vertebrae and broken ribs. Lisa was helping her with her personal and household needs, went home to her husband and daughter, went to bed, and did not wake up. Her last day was spent being the loving friend she was. Please keep her family, also friends, in prayer. They just lost Lisa's father suddenly a few years ago and are devastated by Lisa's unexpected death.

Let her passing be a reminder to not take anything or any moment for granted. My love to al!

The Importance of a Healthy Gut Microbiome

This is worth your time to listen especially if the concerns for the bird virus come to fruition.
If you want to strengthen your immune system, start feeding your intestinal immune cells today and avoid things that harm it.

If you want to improve your health in any area, feed your gut good bacteria.

I will share a tip soon on how to save money on probiotics.

Boid, the Wood Stork?

On a hike in the woods in York Co earlier today, we (Clint, me, Emily, and Hannah) encountered a Wood Stork. Since they are rare in our area and only one has been reported, we think this is "Boid," the Wood Stork that visited our farm for weeks. We were not able to get a picture, but I did report it on eBird.

Please keep praying for Karen

Karen has been successfully fighting the infection with essential oils, particularly tea tree oil and helichrysum. She is on a homeopathic medicine that includes cobra venom for the pain in the nerve bed of her open wound. I am sharing in case that helps someone else or their loved one. Even though she feels terrible and is bleeding from her cancer wound, she goes out once a week to minister to the homeless and elderly. It takes a toll on her body. Please keep praying for her and her family. Her special needs son witnessed a heavy bleeding incident which was traumatic for him. If you will, join me in prayer that God removes that whole incident from his memory and calms his heart.

November 8: I have mentioned my friend Karen's need for prayer before in the blog and to our praying friends who read here. She has stage 4 cancer with a large open wound. Earlier this week, she had anaphylactic shock in reaction to the antibiotics that were treating her for four types of bacterial infection. She can no longer take the antibiotics, so there are no options there according to her doctor. 

Please pray for her and her entire family. 

Pluchea odorata

 

Pluchea odorata aka Marsh Fleabane, a member of the Aster family, grows in areas with salt or brackish water...like in the yard of my home along the beautiful York River. It has many medicinal properties. It is an antispasmodic, diaphoretic, vulnery (heals wounds), antiseptic, vasodilator, mild stimulant, anti-inflammatory, antibiotic, antifungal, antiviral, etc. Research also shows it can disrupt cancer cell reproduction. In French traditional medicine, it is known as a cure-all. It is used in Central America to treat cancer. Some people do not like the medicinal smell, but I don't mind it. I've worked with some smelly herbs, and this one is pleasant in comparison. FYI, "odorata" in the name can mean a good smell or a bad one.

Willow to Aspirin

A lot of people know that aspirin was developed from Willlow aka Salix spp. If you use the inner bark as a tea, it can take six hours for the body to convert it to salicylic acid to give pain relief. However, the Native Americans figured out that if you burned the branches and leaves and made a tea from the ashes, the combination of the thermal breakdown and alkaline ash, sped up the conversion of salicin to salicylic acid. They would also inhale the smoke because inhalation is a faster delivery system than digestion.

One of my herbal medicine heroes...

Aunt Molly Kirby, as she was affectionately known by all, was the "doctor" to the people in the Coosa River area of Alabama. If it were not for her hiring and teaching a 7-year-old boy named Arthur Lee "Tommie" Bass, a lot of the knowledge of medicinal herbs would have been lost. She needed him because she was too old to climb the mountains to get the medicine. His education continued when he befriended a Cherokee woman who shared their medicine. He was hired by the pharmaceutical industry to get plants for their medicines and learned even more from that. It all started with Aunt Molly passing on her vast knowledge of how to help people with plants.

Goodbye, Sebastian.

Please lift a prayer for a our sweet and tenderhearted DIL, Elora. Her dog, Sebastian, died last night. :-( It looks like he ate something toxic. 

Magnolia Medicine

 

 

   

  

Magnolia virginina aka Sweet Bay Magnolia was widely used as medicine among Native Americans and early Americans. It is still used for various ailments today. You can find it for sale on the internet. Magnolia spp grows all around the world.

Tommie Bass, the now deceased highly sought-after Alabama herbalist, said more people came to him for Magnolia spp to treat arthritis, joint pain, and gout than any other plant. He said it did not work for everyone, but it did work for many. In fact, medical doctors in the early 1800s considered it a very effective treatment for rheumatism and arthritis.

The bark contains two polyphenols: magnolol and honokiol. Magnolol is an antihistamine. By reducing the histamine release, magnolol can help alleviate symptoms associated with allergies, such as inflammation, itching, and swelling. Magnolol supports the body's natural production of adrenal steroids which gives it antispasmodic effects. Honokiol is a muscle relaxer that appears to be five times more effective at relieving anxiety than some Rx medications. That's impressive!

Magnolol and honokiol relax bronchial muscles, making it easier to expel mucus, thus contributing to its expectorant properties. These help reduce inflammation in the respiratory tract, assisting with conditions like asthma or bronchitis. Magnolol and essential oils in Magnolia virginiana help stimulate the respiratory system to expel mucus. The alkaloids in the tree work as bronchodilators to ease breathing. These things can make it a good option for respiratory ailments.

The leaves are used as a vulnery meaning it helps heal wounds. The antimicrobial properties promote healing and prevent infection. The leaves were used as a poultice.

The Native Americans used the largest leaves of Magnolia to wrap their food. They also used the leaves as a spice to flavor their foods like gravies. The Rappahannock used it as a mild stimulant. The bark is a chief food for beavers, so it was also known as the Beaver Tree. In Japan, they use the leaves as a dish to grill foods on.

In China, Magnolia obovata, is used in over 200 patent medicines. One paper I read said many of the Chinese in America buy Magnolia bark and extracts available because they know how valuable the tree is for medicine. While you can use different species of Magnolia, the chemical compounds may vary by species.

Thoughts on Boneset

"I am a 30+ year medicinal herbalist. The presence of pyrrolizidine alkaloids in Boneset (Eupatorium perfoliatum) can be of concern in long-term applications. Late Boneset may be considered a safer option for extended use due to lower levels of these alkaloids. I personally use Hyssop Leafed Boneset (Eupatorium hyssopifolium) and Late Boneset (Eupatorium serotinum) to treat Chronic EBV/viral symptoms for a week at a time. Both are too bitter to drink as a tea (although I have done so) so I tincture mine. All of the bonesets can be used similarly per the scientific and traditional use research I have done. Tip for anyone who cares: It is very helpful to seek out and compare the chemical profiles of plants in the same genus when researching species to see if they can be used similarly. I am not a medical doctor, so I encourage each of you to do your own research and be your own health-care provider. Happy herbaling and God bless!" -Mama Asbell

Off Roading Fun with Brandon

Brandon invited Clint, Emily, Hannah, and me to stay in his very nice and large suite in Aurora, NC. We were there Thursday until Sunday. We toured the countryside, did some shopping, and enjoyed some off-roading in the Croatan National Forest. Somewhere along the way home, we met Walter aka the name for the Big Foot statue. Emily and Hannah enjoyed having their picture taken with him.

Lady's Thumb, Jesusplant, Knotweed Food and Medicine

Lady's Thumb aka Redshank aka Jesusplant aka Knotweed

Persicaria maculos (Buckwheat family)

As the plant ages, there is a dark spot in the middle of the leaves that looks like the plant was bruised. This is why it is called Lady's Thumb.

This is a nutritious wild edible and it is medicinal. It was brought by Europeans to the US, but the Native American tribes soon put it to work for them. You can find it all over the United States. It is high in vitamins A, B2, C, calcium, magnesium, potassium, iron, zinc, copper, and selenium.

As an edible, use it like you would spinach or kale. You can consume it raw, like in a salad, or use it in soups, stews, stirfrys, in with other herbs as a green powder, etc.

It is a vulnery (heals wounds),anti-inflammatory, antioxidant, antifungal, antibacterial, astringent, cholagogue (increases bile), diuretic, hemostatic (stops bleeding), and anthelmintic (rids parasites). It shows antiviral properties for RSV, EBV, and several other viruses.

Anti-inflammatory herbs, like Lady's Thumb, are usually good for bug bites, insect stings, burns, etc. A poultice of lady's thumb left in place a couple of hours can reduce arthritis inflammation by half. It works by interrupting the production of pro-inflammatory cytokines. A tincture of this may be a good choice for those who suffer from arthritis and other inflammatory diseases.

You can use it externally as a poultice or in a salve and also use it internally as a tea, decoction, capsule, or tincture.

Lady's Shank can treat urinary and digestive tract disorders, women's and men's reproductive health, fevers, headaches, diabetes, respiratory health, and eye health. It has also been used to treat Lyme's Disease.

You can make a tea combined with other herbs that repel insects and use it as a natural insect repellent spray.

This is just a tiny bit of my handwritten notes on Lady's Thumb. There is more to learn about this wonderful and useful plant.

While Lady's Thumb has been a part of American medicine since it was brought here, there have not been many studies done on it.

It has been used for a very long time for food and medicine and is generally considered safe. I could not find any hard contraindications (an existing condition that makes something unsafe). However, there are some POTENTIAL contraindications: allergies to the buckwheat family, pregnancy and breastfeeding, blood disorders (it has mild blood thinning properties), and kidney disorders (due to oxalates).

Always learn the contraindications of anything you use (even OTC and RX - doctors can and do miss things) and always start with small amounts internally. For topical medications, always do a skin patch test first. These are good standard medical practices with anything new even RX and OTC meds. Use my posts as a starting place to do your own research.

One of my favorite quotes on herbal medicine...

I listened to and took notes on a recording of Tommie Bass. He said the following, and it capture exactly how I feel about herbal medicine. 

"If I went into telling you every medical value of every plant and herb, there wouldn't be a [video] tape long enough to hold all the good values of the herbs God gave us to heal us and keep us healthy." Tommie Bass 1908-1996 He is worth researching and so is Aunt Molly Kirby, the medicine woman who started his education.

About that Plantain in Your Backyard. Plantago spp

Plantago spp is a good herb and edible to start foraging.

It grows all over the world. It has no deadly look-alikes and most people can easily identify it. It is abundant so you can take all you need. It will grow back! It is so useful, I call it a medicine cabinet in one backyard plant.

I have over 10 pages of handwritten notes of things I have learned on Plantago aka Plantain over the years. I can't share everything here. Hopefully, I have shared enough to make you more aware of how very useful this plant is. This is the plant many of you made "guns" out of with the stem wrapped around the seed head.

Depending on what you are targeting, the leaves can be used fresh or dried. It can be used as a food source, tea, capsule, decoction, salve, ointment, tincture, and poultice. I have both the narrow (aka lance) leaf and broad leaf on my place. All I found recently was the lanceolata (narrow) leaf (pictured).

Plantago is superior to Jewelweed when treating poison ivy, oak, or sumac IF you know the correct method to use. Here it is:

Boil the leaves. Strain and cool them until it is hot but not enough to burn/damage the skin. Leave until it cools. Then change it out with another batch of boiled leaves. Do this 3 times. On the third time, bandage the poultice to the body. The heat causes the histamines to be released all at one time. Then you have the anti-inflammatory effects and the chemical compound allantoin which is a cell proliferator (speeds cell turnover rate which speeds healing). It works better when caught sooner.

For a spider bite, boil a potato until it is very soft. While still warm apply to the skin until it cools. Then follow the instructions above. The potato contains among other things starches and hyaluronic and azelaic acids which help soften the skin. The heat pulls blood to the surface which also moves the venom to the surface. All of this makes it easier for the plantain poultice to draw the venom out. This method has spared people from necrotizing flesh as seen in brown recluse spider bites.

The allantoin in plantago is good for healing bruises, fractures, pulled muscles and ligaments, sprains, strains, and osteoarthritis. Neosporin uses allantoin in some of its products like their wound gel. You can harvest allantoin from your backyard and use it for free.

Plantago spp will also heal the intestines from inflammatory conditions. It normalizes stomach secretions. It is good for the immune system. It is good for UTIs and other bladder/kidney conditions. It helps drain mucus from the head and can be used for asthma and bronchitis. The seeds are what is in Metamucil (psyllium husks come from Plantago ovata) because they have a laxative effect. It helps with thrombophlebitis. It reduces intestinal absorption of lipids, lowers cholesterol, food poisoning, snake bites, spider bites, bug bites, and is a very effective drawing agent (pulling splinters, pus, or venom).

It was so valuable as medicine that many English settlers brought different varieties over with them. The Native Americans called it "White Man's Footprints" because it popped up wherever they went. There was one variety already here, but we have many varieties in the US today. For the medicinal properties, it is a fairly consistent plant across the different varieties.

To use as an edible, people eat the young tender leaves in salads much like you would lettuce. People wrap sushi in them and throw them on top of their burgers. Older leaves get cooked. Dried and powdered, the leaves are used as thickeners in soups. The seeds are ground for flour. Plantago is high in vitamins A, B, C, K, calcium, iron, magnesium, potassium, and selenium.

Medicinal properties: antioxidant, anti-inflammatory, antiseptic, anti-cancer, vulnery (heals wounds), decongestant, demulcent (soothes mucus membranes), drawing agent, laxative, and it is considered analgesic due to the anti-inflammatory benefits. The NIH says the pain-relieving properties are probably due to the tannins and one paper says plantago the plant is good for: infectious diseases, digestive issues, respiratory organs reproduction, circulation, certain cancers, and reducing fevers.

Many of you have been asking me through text and IM how to get started. Here it is. It is up to you to make something of it. And, I apologize for not answering phone calls but I do try to reach out through text asap. My phone is usually in the house while I am outside.

Update on Sweetpepper Bush

 

I'd say you can extract soap fairly easily from Spicebush leaves. I've only used it to wash my hands while in the woods before, so this is new to me too. We have over two gallons of it to experiment with. It smells a little like a tea but you could easily fix that with essential oils or maybe with the fresh flowers from the bush. I'll test it to see how it does in the laundry and on hair. The color did not stain the pot, nor the spoon, nor our skin. We will discover if it will stain fabrics.

Random thoughts on herbal medicine natural medicine alternative medicine

This was an answer to a friend of mine who commented on an herbal medicine post I made:

I am sharing some things below not so much for you, but for those reading along. I get so many texts and messages on things like this.

You are right, they will not do the studies on the whole plant because they can't patent a natural substance. No money, no incentive to research. Medical care, generally speaking, is about money not about helping people.

"Drugs derived from the natural world" is different than herbal medicine which directly uses plants. A good portion of pharmaceuticals are derived from natural plants but they isolate the chemicals and often strengthen them. That is why they have a lot of side effects.

Herbal medicine, meaning the direct use of plants as medicine, is gentler because there are often protective benefits from other chemical compounds within the plant. If a lab isolates one chemical to market in the drug industry, it loses the benefits of the other chemicals in the plant. I have seen people get very angry when they are paying very high prices for Rx when an effective and safe answer was right outside their door free for the picking...and it worked better!!

If you are working with a skilled herbalist, there are plenty of things perfectly safe for a pregnant and nursing mother. I have taken scores of herbs as medicine while pregnant and nursing to strengthen and tone the uterus, help with the severe hyperemeis gravidarum, give me energy, as vitamins and minerals, to increase my milk flow, help with restless leg, etc. I have also used herbs with my newborns. Susan Weed, Shonda Parker, and others have written books on herbs safe for pregnancy, nursing, and babies. I think Ody is another author's last name.

My own OB told me he could see the herbs were working to curb the severe hyperemesis gravidarum and that they were doing an amazing job. Then came the big BUT....he didn't want to know about them because herbal medicine scared him silly. We are afraid of what we do not know. The Rxs he had given me did not help me at all, so I researched and wrote to doctors (and bought a medical book from them) outside our country to gain knowledge to help myself.

Most people I know are terrified of pokeweed leaves (poke sallet) and pokeweed berries. I was taught as a child that all parts were "deadly poison. Don't touch it!!!" I learned about pokeweed from a master herbalist. I know when and how to use it and what the different parts can do for the body. I use it without fear or problems.

I know a lot of people are freaking out now after those pokeweed statements, so I'll add this for them to ponder: We bring many things into our homes that are toxic in the wrong dose or when used in the wrong manner. Aspirin, acetaminophen, household chemicals, and most Rx medicines. If you ingest all of your Rx meds at one time, what will happen? Yet you still use it. Why? Knowledge is power. Tiny doses of most medicine (allopathic and natural) are beneficial while large doses can land one in an emergency room or worse. If you can learn how to use meds from your doctor, you can learn from someone knowledgeable about how to use plants for medicine. "There are no toxic plants, only toxic doses."

Contraindications: A knowledgeable herbalist in a practice will (or at least SHOULD) ask for a complete medical history, lifestyle (what you eat, how you sleep, stress in your life, etc), find out what you are already taking, do a physical exam, etc. The forms are extensive. As part of my education (which at that time could be used to start a business or counted as part of an ND degree), I was given sets of forms and had to fill them out for detailed fictional patients and for real life (family/friends) "practice patients." It is far more info than conventional medical care requires of a new patient. It was a lengthy process to gain all of the information to even begin to help someone. If you are paying them to treat you and they are not doing this, RUN!

I am glad you can see the fear tactics. With the knowledge I have gained in the 30+ years I've been studying, I can not emphasize enough that the fear tactics are intentional. So is the frequently conflicting and confusing information. For my friends who like a good C-theory go research the long list (over 60) of herbalists/naturopaths who "suddenly died" in a short time-period of each other. Find out what they were researching/learning. Who and what would it benefit them to keep that info secret?

Tie Dye Fun and the Mood in Your Household

 

 

Those Asbell children! 🙃 It was staged to make Clint smile. It's his dog. No dogs were tie-dyed (yet 😁). There is a lot, and I mean A LOT, of very ugly, tragic, and deeply disturbing news out there. A wise, older woman told me a long time ago that the wife/mother can set the tone of her household. Worship music, fun activities, and a little humor can go a long way to lifting the mood in our homes.

Asters

I spent yesterday morning foraging and the rest of the day preparing what I harvested for drying. I found salt marsh and frost asters at my place. I took a drive to a forest I am allowed to go into and found calico asters on the edges of trails. I was pretty tickled to find that! I harvested over a bushel of four different varieties of asters for making tea from the leaves and flowers. The leaves are full of nutrition and can be eaten in salads or soups. Asters can treat digestive issues, fevers, earaches, and more. The New England Aster is highly sought by herbalists and tea lovers because it is nervine and calmative which can help with anxiety, panic attacks, and insomnia.

Baby Loss Months: Those Well-Meaning Memes

The meme is well-meaning. It claims that all mothers of miscarried/stillborn babies know exactly how old their babies would be if they were alive. This is my response. I am not against the meme. I am against unfairly burdening a mother in the baby loss community with other people's expectations of how their grief and love should look to others. 

Wendy Asbell:

xxxx I do not know the ages my miscarried and stillborn children would be right off hand because there were nine of them. That does not equate to me not caring. Nothing could be further from the truth. I think of them every day and have their names and dates they died in my Bible. I also have each of their memorial ornaments along with the cremation marker "coin" nailed above a doorway. I walk past their memorial in my flowerbed every day and thank the Lord they were made known to me and that I will be with them again. A well-meaning meme can not define how one grieves.

I absolutely agree. I know the ages the first two of mine would be but truthfully I forced myself to stop keeping track just to prevent despair. This meme is generalization, but I am glad you pointed out that is isn’t a hard and fast rule.

Wendy Asbell:

xxxxxx I am sorry for your losses and for the others who commented here who know this particular pain. I also purposefully chose to not recall dates. It's one of the choices I had to make to keep going in this life. I daily make a conscious decision to look to the future with them. I have a day set aside to remember them all with my family. I brought my situation to light here to encourage those who struggle with dates because I do not wish to see them feeling like they are failing their baby(ies). Baby loss has enough burdens as it is.

Amanda and Joe Engaged!

Joe asked Amanda to marry him on her birthday. Amanda waited to tell people because she did not want to overshadow Bethany's engagement which we knew about weeks ahead of time. She is a loving and considerate big sister! That's three engagements and one marriage this year. I waited until she had told everyone in our family, our friends, and her co-workers.

Prunella vulgaris

Prunella vulgaris aka Selfheal, Heal All, is one of the more versatile plants to have in your arsenal and many cultures have made good use of it. In some areas, it grows as commonly in yards as the dandelion. It can be used internally and externally. It is antibacterial, antibiotic, antimutagenic, antioxidant, antiseptic, antispasmodic, antiviral, astringent, bitter, carminative, diuretic, febrifuge, hemostatic, hypotensive, immunostimulant, kidney tonic, liver stimulant, stomachic, vasodilator, vermifuge and more. This is a very useful herb to know and grow. As with any herb, always research look-alikes and learn to properly identify, and learn any contraindications.

Late Boneset

Late Boneset aka Eupatorium serotinum. The flowers and leaves are anti-inflammatory and anti-spasmodic. They have been used to treat flu, colds, coughs, prostate problems, diabetes, bronchitis, indigestion, fevers, joint pain, sinus problems, and more. The late great herbalist Tommie Bass used it in his cough syrup recipe. It is also an important plant for our pollinators which flock to it. There were so many pollinators around this plant, it had three green tree frogs hidden within its leaves.

UPDATED:

I shared this with someone:

"I use Late Boneset - Eupatorium serotinum as a tea or tincture when a virus hits. Late Boneset has many medicinal properties. Based on my research, the chemical profile shows it is an anti-inflammatory, anti-pyretic (fever reducer), immune system modulator, analgesic, diaphoretic (induces a sweat), antimicrobial (antibacterial, antiviral, antifungal), digestive aid, and it gives support to the lymphatic system. It is safe for most people in medicinal dosages (small amounts, short time-periods) which differs from a consumption amount (consumed regularly as a meal or beverage). From a chemical standpoint, Late Boneset is considered safer than Boneset because it has a lower risk of hepatotoxicity (do not consume it as a food source, but in small amounts for a short time as a medicine). Some sensitive people may have allergies to the sesquiterpene lactones of BOTH Boneset - Eupatorium perfoliatum. and Late Boneset, so one may want to follow the "edibility test protocol." Anyone allergic to plants in the Asteraceae family should avoid it. I am not a medical doctor. I am just sharing my research, usage, and personal experiences."

More Good News

 I will have more good news to share as soon as I am able to do so. 

Bible Verses Against Necromancy

 Bible Verses Against Necromancy (speaking with/praying to the dead)

1. Leviticus 19:31

2. Deuteronomy 18:9-14

3. I Samuel 28:7-8

4. 2 Kings 21:6

5. I Chronicles 10:13

6. Isaiah 8:19-20

How to Help a Grieving Friend

 I keep sharing this because so many have told me it has helped them on both sides of the table in different types of grief including divorce. 

Repost from 10/15/2018: This post has helped a lot of people on both sides of the coin and has been printed as a handout.

Believe me, it's no time for words when the wounds are fresh and bleeding; no time for homilies when the lightning's shaft has smitten, and the man lies stunned and stricken. Then let the comforter be silent; let him sustain by his presence, not by his preaching; by his sympathetic silence, not by his speech. -George C. Lorimer

October 15 is the national day of remembrance for miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss. I've lost nine precious babies to stillbirth and miscarriage. Much of what you read here can be applied more broadly to include other types of loss and pain.

Here is a video from Megan Devine, which a friend recently shared, that shares about what works for those grieving and why other things like "cheering them up" do not. It will better equip you to help the hurting in your life.

When I lost one of my miscarried and stillborn babies, one of the things that helped me the most was someone telling me, "This sucks!!" I knew by their succinct words that they understood my pain. You don't need eloquence to show compassion. Your job isn't to move them to where you want them to be; it's to meet them where they are.

One of the most hurtful things ever said to me, for example, was by a Christian in law who claimed to be pro-life who told me less than 24 hours after the loss of my baby that crying was "feeling sorry for myself." Their words created a lot of pain in my heart. They did not care what I was going through, and their words showed it. Their words suggested I was doing something wrong by mourning my baby. I share this with the goal that others won't say such hurtful things in a woman's time of great pain. It is not helpful, but it is very hurtful. 

Crying is a normal, natural response to loss. Jesus cried in grief too. Would you have said, "It's self pity for you to cry since you are going to raise Lazarus anyway?" Or, would you have shown Him understanding and compassion? Think before you speak. Words hurt and can't be taken back, but they can be forgiven. Be gentle and kind with each other even when you do not understand what the other person is going through.

Please don't add your misplaced expectations to someone else's struggle. You will only burden them further. Acknowledge a person's right to feel as they do. 

If you have had a pregnancy loss, I am praying for you today and offer my friendship. My email is in the header. 

A pharisee is hard on others and easy on himself, 
but a spiritual man is easy on others and hard on himself.
-A.W. Tozer

I had a friend comment:

That person that said that to you COULD NOT be a Christian! They may be a self proclaimed Christian, but if they really had Christ in their heart they could have never said something so cruel and cold! 

My reply: Christians aren't perfect, and we fail each other often. We have to bear with each other in love to keep unity in the church. I have forgiven them completely and have love for them. Grudges lead to bitterness and that's a weed I don't want growing in my life. It's too destructive! I pray for their well being and success of their business daily. Doing that honors Jesus and gives me peace and keeps me growing in Christ. Their words are a good example to show others what not to say to someone because it does not in any way help. It creates another burden on the person. If we claim to be pro-life, but deny a mother the freedom to mourn a pregnancy loss, we really aren't very pro-life. We have to come beside people and meet them where they are in whatever circumstance life throws at them...not drag them along to where we want them to be. I fail people too and am thankful when they forgive me and bear with me in love.