Sometimes I'd like to hide away from everyone or at least put life on pause and simply rest for a few weeks. I can't. My family needs me. I was off my feet for almost five months. My children need their summer clothes, and it is a big, time consuming job. A garden would bless our family health wise and financially. My husband needs my support to keep our place running smoothly, or it becomes a tremendous burden on him. I can't stop.
Besides the physical work, a mother sets the tone for her entire household. My attitude and my outlook directly affects theirs. When I hurt, they hurt. If I go around moping, it will affect them too. I battle the grief by reading His promises and singing praises to the God Who not only knows how I feel and loves me more than anyone else ever can, but has also Himself grieved.
Contrary from what I was told by a Christian family member when I cried on the phone mere hours after I miscarried for the first time in1995, crying isn't self pity. It's being an honest human being with God given emotions. He gave us those emotions to allow us to experience life and Him more fully. They also allow us to connect with others on a deeper level. We need to show compassion, not judgement and callousness, to those who are hurting. (see Romans 12:15) God uses pain in this fallen world. It connects us and opens doors for us to share our faith.
Here's the song I am singing today as I put one foot in front of the other:
I WILL FOLLOW YOU
Chris Tomlin
Chris Tomlin
Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow
All your ways are good
All your ways are sure
I will trust in you alone
Higher than my side
High above my life
I will trust in you alone
Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve, I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you
I will follow you
Light unto the world
Light unto my life
I will live for you alone
You're the one I seek
Knowing I will find
All I need in you alone
In you alone
Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve, I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you
I will follow you
In you, there's life everlasting
In you, there's freedom for my soul
In you, there's joy, unending joy
And I will follow
Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve, I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow
Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve, I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you
I will follow you
I will follow you
I will follow you
A special hello to the Christian church in Lagos, Nigeria and London, England who are using my experiences with difficult relationships to help others. May God bless you and grow your ministry!
