Don't expect perfection

First shared 5/28/16:

There is an unseen war on to corrupt our children's hearts, minds, and bodies. As a parent very aware of the battle, it can be overwhelming! Clint and I are constantly looking for ways to drive home the seriousness of making wise choices. We have a lot of conversations about how thinking wrong leads to doing and doing wrong which then leads to negative consequences. 

I've been asking my children this week how does this quote apply to real life and what foundations can we apply to keep our footing in a world where temptations and evil are everywhere: 

“It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

For our family, a firm foundation is found in knowing and applying God's Word, especially His commandments. 

Beside our front door, I have a handwritten sign which says: 

Before you go out this door

REMEMBER

WHO you are... __________ Asbell

WHERE you come from.... your family

WHO you represent...A HOLY GOD<--- b="">

Let your speech and behavior reflect these facts.

This sign is not pretty. It was hastily handwritten by a tired mother who has more to do than hours in the day. The neon yellow arrow does not match my decor. Sometimes I cringe inwardly when others seeing these signs, wondering what they think. However, my decor isn't here to serve my desires for perfection or color coordination others will envy. I am not here to please others by seeking their approval. My home is here to glorify my God, and I can do that by teaching/reminding my children of Truth. 

I can say the same about my blog posts. They aren't eloquently written. They have spelling and grammatical errors. I want perfection, but I can't achieve it and still fulfill my many other duties. I know there are other Christians, parents, women, wives, mothers who are also engaged in this battle. I hear from many of you often. I want to give encouragement and share ideas because I know how battle weary we can become especially when the godly older women the Bible talks about in Titus 2:4 are so absent in our lives. 

Don't worry about your decor or other frivolous matters. Keep your eyes on the goal. Fight for your children's hearts and minds because if you don't the consequences can last longer than a lifetime. They could be an eternity. Fight, mamas! Fight hard and don't forget to fill your tank (take care of you spiritually, emotionally/mentally, and physically) so you can keep going.

Don't expect perfection as you raise and launch your children. I know my efforts don't guarantee anything. Life is messy, and human beings are fallible. Darkness seeps in through the cracks. "Perfect little angels" don't exist. There will be trying times. There will be sin. There will be hurts and disappointments. However, I do know God will bless my efforts and help us through the trials. I know giving them Jesus is the best thing I can give them, so I labor on. I am praying for you. Please pray for me too.

What Do You Do When Life Hands You...

First published 10/8/15:

high tides? We take boat rides and give thanks!

Brandon's dog rode too! 
She thinks she is one of the our little girls!

God says to give thanks in all circumstances. Thankfulness in the midst of hard circumstances is one way God's people stand out from the world. If you want children who whine and are prone to drama, then be a grump and complain loudly about how life has inconvenienced you. If you want children who honor the Lord with thankfulness in all situations, then you'll need to example it. 

I am not perfect in this, but I have gone to my children when I have failed, apologized, and told them how my example failed to show them how God says to do it. Humility makes an impact on your children's hearts. If you present yourself as a perfect adult without sin, your children learn you are a liar (I John 1:8) and will not respect you. They might fear you but very few follow the example of someone who made them afraid. 

When the really high tides come every 5-7 years, we take the children out around the neighborhood in a boat and visit our neighbors! Our picture gets taken a lot! Sometimes, we are blessed to be able to lend a hand to someone in need. We are thankful for storms that give us opportunities to make these fun and unique memories! Storms also give us opportunities to bond closer as we work together.

After a visit on a dry deck, Girly didn't want to leave!

Was it all fun? No. We had to elevate 200+ animals, prepare nine buildings just in case water got higher than expected, take our cars and RV to a community parking lot, and move equipment to higher ground. Joshua had surgery and then had a bad side effect from the pain pills during this period. The winds tore part of a roof off one of our buildings. Only having one vehicle that can handle some of the water, we had to coordinate appointments, jobs, and transportation with a narrow window of time that the water was low enough we could drive in it. We worked together with lots of joking around and got it all done without complaining. 

In our homeschool character lessons, we taught our children that complaining only makes a situation harder for everyone and is a vocal alarm revealing the work we need to do in our hearts. If you are saved by grace through faith, there is always something to be thankful for! Our olders now repeat this to our youngers, so we feel like this Scriptural lesson has become part of our spiritual legacy.

back in the boat

After the work was done, we had a few lazy days with delicious home cooked meals, snacks and desserts, games to play, and movies to watch. Moms, you should monitor morale and know how to renew energy and optimism in your family during stressful situations. An encouraging word, hug or shoulder massage, a treat, a break in the workload for some play, or a reward can make a big difference! Don't forget to praise your family as a group and emphasize the strength of working as a team, "Team Asbell rocks! God has made us strong together! We accomplished so much together! What a blessing to have each other because many hands do make the workload lighter! Thank You Father for this amazing family and the gift of each other!" Build your family with your words.

As a mom with toddlers, I always "brought up the rear" to make sure no one was left behind. Now, it's habit! There is no better view than watching my family enjoy themselves. The musical laughter that drifts back to me is better than any symphony.

Our neighbors had their truck stuck for a while. As we passed, we offered to let them wait the tide out in our home. 

Water during the highest point was at our hips, but we were home before then.

I Thessalonians 5:18 Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

1 Corinthians 15:57 But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 

Large Family Table Solution

I know of one family that purchased an outdoor picnic table that came with benches. They stained the tops a dark color and put on several coats of poly. They painted the bottoms white. It looked a lot nicer than I had imagined. They put chairs they bought second hand at the ends. It was cheaper than a new dining room table, and it was built to last. They thought out of the box to accomplish their goal. I like it for that reason!

Cutting Grocery Costs

I was asked about how I save money on groceries again. Here's my response:

This is a little different than what you asked, but it goes with cutting back on a grocery budget. I am a mom of seven with children who range in age from 25 to 9. I collected a lot of these tips from older women who generously shared their wisdom with me when I was a young mother. I took what I could use at the time and tried to remember the rest in case I could use it later. Think of buying groceries as buying nutrition instead of food. Eating healthier leads to less cravings because the body is getting what it needs. I feed my family of nine for much, much less, and we rarely ever get sick because our immune systems are well nourished. I keep a price book, watch sales fliers, buy what is on sale in large quantities, keep our pantry well stocked, and make our menu from what we have on hand instead of making the menu and then buying ingredients which probably aren't on sale at the time. Grow what you can. Even a window garden can grow mesclun and herbs. Preserve what you can. I bought 100+ pineapples this winter for 25 cents each and 300 pounds of chicken on sale for 29 cents a pound and pressure canned it. I made jelly from our grapes. I freeze lasagnas and casseroles and also pressure can soups, beef stew, etc for "fast food." I pressure can dry beans because it's so much cheaper and lets me have the ready to use convenience too. I dehydrate herbs, meat, and fruit. I keep boiled eggs in the fridge for high protein snacks. They gobble them up about as fast as I can peel them. Don't be too rigid. I buy my children pizzas from Aldis or Sams and sodas from Walmart once a week. It hasn't affected their health a bit, and they look forward to it. Find a happy, healthy balance. Make it a fun challenge to save money on your groceries. I love it when I find a deal! When I bought landscaping for our home, I chose to invest my money in fruit trees, berry and fig bushes, passion fruit vines, and grapevines over ornamentals. These give me something usable back for my money and time caring for them. I invested in perennial garden plants that will give me years of harvests like strawberries, asparagus, rhubarb, horseradish, etc. It takes a few years to get some of these things going, but it all adds up..even those pennies you don't think matter. You'll save more and more as you implement more. I took the savings at first and built up my pantry. Now, I take my grocery savings and put them in an investment account.

Still At It

Bethany's favorite soup Chicken Curry Soup

In the past several weeks, I have been canning hundreds of pints and quarts in an attempt to clean out our big freezers for upcoming sales that I want to take advantage of in my ongoing effort to cut food costs. 

I have more jars to fill. My saying is "Empty jars are idle investments."

We eat very well and are able to share food with others. I do it on less than most families of four spend. I am thankful for the knowledge and good health that allows me to do it.

I wake up early, start the recipe which always includes fresh vegetables that need to be prepared. Then I prepare the jars and lids, fill the jars, wipe the rims, and put the lids and rings on them. It takes until late at night to finish processing. After processing, the jars are washed, dried, labeled, and put into storage. I am at it so much; I imagine I'm hearing the "chff chff chff" of the cooker while I am awake and asleep. 

It's deeply satisfying and rewarding work to have healthy cost effective meals on the shelf ready to heat and serve.

God blessed me for my hard work in a way that made me smile big. He sent us three free hams and a free turkey this week! 

If you've been waiting for me to reply to an email or phone call, it might be a while. I'm doing great, but I am busy and will be for a while. My love to all of you who call me "Wendy, Mrs. A., Mama Asbell, or Wendy Darlin'." 

Unicorn Spit Table

I wanted to do something fun and colorful for where Emily and Hannah sit to do their school every day. I found a thrift store table for $25 and used a coupon to get it for $20. 

After I sanded the table and painted the base color. I used Unicorn Spit gel stains which have a unique and heartwarming beginning. I saved some money by purchasing the white and adding food coloring gel to tint it to the few extra colors which I only needed in small amounts. I also purchased the purple and blue since I knew I'd need more of those and wanted those colors just right. 

It's hard to see the full effect of these gels in this poor picture taken in a hurry on a rainy day. Once the clear coat is added, it gains depth and is very pretty. I painted the edge, underside, and base of the table grey. I paired it with black chairs. 

My girls love their table! 

Wendy's Tips for Growing Your Own Food to Cut Grocery Costs

The Encyclopedia of Country Living

A sweet friend asked for tips for beginners who want to grow a garden to cut grocery costs. Here is what I shared with her.

Clint and I are still learning too. There was a generation gap in passing down learning about growing and preserving food on both sides. As a young wife 22+ years ago, I checked out from the library and purchased books to teach myself. Thankfully, there is much more on the internet now. One of my favorite books from then is Carla Emery's The Encyclopedia of Country Living which has been updated. It looks like a phone book and covers just about everything you can imagine about country life.

A lot of my self taught learning was slowed down by lengthy spells of bed rest caused by each pregnancy and then having little ones to care for, but I kept plodding along in that shuffle most of us do..two steps forward and one step back. 

What to plant and what to avoid is dependent upon your immediate area. Know your growing conditions. I have low acid clay soil with a high water table that is rich in minerals due to flooding from our river. Our weather is affected by our river and the ocean. I've been working on building up our soil in certain areas for 22 years. If Clint brings me home a load of mulch or a bag of leaves, grass clippings, or pine cones from a curb, I'm a happy girl! 

What grows well in the wild where you are? Here it is asparagus, blackberries, persimmons, etc. You know you can't lose with plants that already grow wild where you are. I am hoping to get outdoors and dig up some of our wild blackberries and plant them along fence lines and chicken pens this year. 

High yield garden producers like beans, peas, tomatoes, squash, collards, lettuces, etc make good choices. 

Perennials like berry bushes, grapevines, strawberries, asparagus, rhubarb, garlic, horseradish, many herbs, fruit trees and such allow you to plant once and harvest for many years. I consider these good investments.

I also like the permaculture idea of "food forests." I would like to tour a place that has these established as I am still trying to get a fix on what this looks like and how it is done.

Speaking of tours, did you know you can do a free self guided tour (a lot of walking) Joel Salatin's farm which is just outside of Waynesboro, VA?http://www.polyfacefarms.com/principles/ There are tons of ideas to be gathered from here, and his family is friendly and polite. I really enjoyed our short time there and hope to go back soon. 

Look at what is naturally (wild) on your land that can be used for your needs that you are ignoring. https://www.wildedible.com/ I harvest my own elderberry, plantain, dandelion, chickweed, mint (planted by someone who lived here eons ago), bayberry (aka wax myrtle), persimmons, pine needles (animal bedding/potpourri), clover and grasses (feed for animals), etc. We've been conditioned to run to the store for everything rather than use the resources that are all around us. We cut the trees down as needed for firewood and use the discarded branches as a natural fence, privacy, boundary line in areas. We make use of things that are here that we know will work for our needs. I've lived here for 20 years and am always finding something new like a female (fruiting) persimmon tree that was hiding in a ton of brush. (I KNEW that deer was going into that thorny thicket for a good reason!!) 

What plants/vines/bushes do your neighbors have that you can trade for? You can cut costs and expand what you grow quickly this way. 

You'll notice one year, you'll have one crop coming out of your ears, but something else might not be doing that well. Preserve what you can during bumper crop years, because the next year, it will likely be a different crop that produces abundantly. 

As Clint and I approach our 50's, we are looking for ways to make it easier on ourselves in the future, so we are adding raised beds, containers, and are experimenting with gutter* gardening. While on vacation, I saw an elderly Asian man who had a large container garden all raised on boards and saw horses to his chest height. He had produce on the vines, so it was working for him. We've often talked about trying that. We are still shufflin' onward! I'm heading outside now to see what I can get up to before the cold weather comes before I head to the store to stock up on some "loss leader" sale items.

*Avoid the strawberry gutter planting idea you see online. The one you see that has the big pretty berries trailing down has an irrigation system run through it. I've heard of too many who tried it without the irrigation hoses. The berries die in the summer heat.

Feel Like You are Inadequate in Your Homeschooling?

Overcoming The Fear Of Not Being Good Enough with Brook Wayne 

"Homeschooling our youngsters has its ups and downs, especial when the lesson plans don’t pan out, the children aren’t interested, or when we’re distracted and discouraged. On those “down days” when nothing seems to go right, it is easy to start wondering if we really are enough for the job of homeschooling."

I am connected with Brook and Israel Wayne through Facebook. They have a Christian worldview and are sincere in their faith. I have not listened to the radio show due to sick children but have been told it is very good.

Inside the Kitchen Cabinets

I store the info on the paint for each room inside my kitchen cabinets. I also have Bible verses, prayer requests, dates for when our livestock will give birth or need shots, cooking measurements, ingredient substitutions, motivational posters with sayings, a bag for Box Tops etc. This is space that is normally wasted and information that is frequently used or misplaced. If I am in a hardware store and remember I need stain, I simply have to call home and ask someone to look inside the cabinet for the name and number I need.

Around Here

from the ceiling to the walls

The personalities of these two always make for fun!


getting an idea of how many seats I can put at the new counter

Seriously, we were just going to replace the damaged ceiling tiles in the den.

Simple Meal Ideas (Free Kindles)

A crock pot is a busy mom's ace in the hole!

Grab these quick because prices can change hourly.

Wendy's Whole House Pick Up

We have a very busy life here at Contentment Acres. We have nine people with many interests and hobbies. Sometimes our den and dining room are filled with Legos, My Little Pony, circuit boards, computers, fabric and sewing machines, small engines under repairs, modeling clay, etc...all at the same time! The house can get messy fast! 

Many years ago, I started the "whole house pick up." When I noticed the house was getting messy, I'd call for everyone of a certain age* to help tidy the house. We'd spend 10 to 30 minutes putting the house back together. When you multiply 15 minutes by nine people, a lot can be accomplished in a short amount of time. There are days when I call for a pick up after every meal and others where I only implement it around 8 p.m. Then there are those Mondays where we start the day off with one!

At what age did my children start helping pick up after themselves? I've always figured that if they are old enough to walk and take toys out of the toy box, they are able to learn under loving instruction and grace to put toys back into the toy box. A three to four year old can help put things in the correct room, "Take these socks to my room and place them on my bed. I will put them in the dresser later." If Mom keeps her attitude right, putting the toys away can be as much fun as taking them out. 

If you teach your children that housework is a time for music, playfulness, and togetherness, it becomes something you do together. Storming around the house in a bad mood because you don't want to clean teaches them to dread it. Every minute you are with your children, you are teaching them either intentionally with purpose or unintentionally without direction.   

Remember you are given the task of home keeping because you have a HOME. Being physically able to clean it is another blessing. Having healthy children who are able to make a mess is another blessing. Having possessions that get used and scattered around is another. Please don't treat your God given blessings as a curse!

To keep it fun, I tickle my children, play "attack of the mommy monster," or spray water from the kitchen sink sprayer (Hey, the floor needs to be mopped anyway!), swat them on the butt with the broom as they walk past and play innocent when they look at me, or whatever makes them laugh! My efforts in instilling a good work ethic have paid off. 

My adult children are frequently praised  and have been rewarded for being hard working employees. My middle children are highly regarded by a neighbor, who says they worked better at 12 and 14, than his 17 year old nephew. He hires them to work for him and says they always exceed his expectations. My little girls are 6 and just turned 8. They are able to clean their own room and help with household chores. Emily can cook eggs for herself and Hannah and for our dogs. At this stage of life, if I am doing something, my children come over and give me a hand on their own. Sometimes, they take over!

This doesn't mean the house is always clean, because we don't serve the house. God gave the house to serve our needs as we work to serve Him. 

I'm Going to Try a Few of These

27 Refrigerator Hacks

Reliquefying Crystallized Honey

Originally published 3/10/07:

Honey is too expensive to be wasted. In cold weather, mine always crystallizes because our pantry area is kept cool.

This tip was passed along to me in e-mail: To keep honey, syrups and jellies from crystallizing, add 1/4 to 1/2 cream of tartar to each pint and mix well.

This is from Carla Emery's book Encyclopedia of Country Living:

"Any liquid honey may crystallize into a stiff, whitish texture if stored in a cool place. Sometime this happens after only a week or so, sometimes after several months. This process is called granulating and is normal. It doesn't harm your honey one bit."

Re-liquefying Crystallized Honey: When my honey in the can gets sugary on top, I just put the can on the back of the wood stove or very low heat on the electric stove, and the sugars will go back into the solution as fast as it warms; 130 degrees F (water no hotter than you can bear your hand in) is a perfect temperature to do the job. You can warm a quart jar of honey in a double boiler. Honey in a glass container can be re-liquefied in a microwave oven. (Remove the cover first! Then cook on high 30 seconds or until clear.) No matter what your method is, be careful not to overheat. Don't boil the honey because that ruins the delicate flavor. Just keep it at about 130F until it re-liquefies--it may take hours or days depending on how much honey you're working with. Storing it in a warmer place will help avoid a repeat.

Menial Tasks

If you are too proud to do the menial tasks of life, you might be too proud for Jesus. He washed others' feet. He came to serve. We are to emulate Him. Serving others is a high calling. Be humble. Work/serve in any manner you can with gratitude. Don't be afraid to get your hands dirty because that might be the opportunity which opens the door to Jesus in someone's life! 

I Peter 4:10 As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace:

Cooking for Large Families: Skip the Crockpot, This Works Better

One of the best cooking tips I have ever received was to stop using my slow cooker. What?! Stop using that wonderful time saving crock pot that keeps meals on track in the evenings when my energy is lagging?! Yes!

I now use an 18 quart roaster on the slow cook setting. It allows me to double or even TRIPLE recipes without worrying about liquids overflowing. I easily can cook enough for my family and company, or I can cook enough for now and have some to freeze for a quick meal later. I love that I can move it to a spare room in summer to keep the heat out of the house. When we camp, I will take it with us since I know I can set it outside on a table to save room in our RV. I still use my slow cookers sometimes, but these days it is usually for side dishes or smaller meals. 

Rival 18 Quart Roaster

My man Clint says it is a fine way to cook spicy Italian sausage, onions, and bell peppers!

Cooking a Big Meal? Thanksgiving? Lots of Leftovers to Heat?

This three tiered oven rack is a large family idea I love!! It can also be used for holiday baking or family get togethers. I so need this and plan to buy it. I will be able to use it several times a week!

Refrigerator Solution for Large Families

We keep two side by side fridges with a mini-fridge that holds our box of 15 dozen eggs. We also have three large upright freezers. I cook most of our meals and also do some bulk freezer-cooking for busier days. Even with the space I have, refrigerator space can be limited right after grocery shopping for fresh vegetables and recipe ingredients. I think this family found a great solution for more fridge storage, but it won't work in my kitchen with the space I have. I am sharing it here for the many large families that follow our blog in case someone can use it:

Practical Refrigerator Solution for Large Families

May the Lord bless your family whether is it big or small.

Stay at Home Mothers: It's a Worthy Job

I was 19 when I asked the Lord, "What do you want me, Wendy, to do with my life?" One of my next Bible readings was:

Titus 2:4-5 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

I have not regretted choosing to follow where the Lord led. His way is not a heavy yoke upon our necks, but gives us freedom to be and do more. I have had the joy of really knowing my children, seeing all of their firsts, teaching them how to read and homeschooling them until they could/can attend college, growing a garden and preserving organic vegetables, studying anything I chose or learning new skills, taking days off as I saw fit or needed, conducting my own experiments, running my own businesses, and still making my home a comfortable haven for my family. Seeking to obey the Lord and bring Him honor as a wife and a mother has brought me great joy and so much freedom! I am very humbled the blessings of this life are mine! 

"A housewife's work . . . is the one for which all others exist." 

C. S. Lewis 1966

“No occupation in this world is more trying to soul and body than the care of young children. What patience and wisdom, skill and unlimited love it calls for. God gave the work to mothers and furnished them for it, and they cannot shirk it and be guiltless.” 
― Isabella Macdonald Alden

“The woman who makes a sweet, beautiful home, filling it with love and prayer and purity, is doing something better than anything else her hands could find to do beneath the skies.” 
― J.R. Miller, Home-Making

Removing and Relabeling Spice Jar Labels

I love my thrift store bargain found spice rack and really appreciated Olde Thompson sending me a free filled spice jar to replace the one that was broken. There were some jars labeled with spices I rarely use and some of my favorites did not have a spot. So, I decided to see if I could remove the label.

I tried acetone first, but it didn't work that great. 

A light scraping with a razor worked very quickly.

I used clear labels in our label maker. I could have probably found a font that was exact, but did not want to put that much time into it. I just used what was preset in the machine. When the jar was put back into the rack no one could spot the one I had relabeled. I relabeled four of them, and it took less than 10 minutes start to finish. Now the spices I use more often are within reach instead of in my spice cabinets. The labels have stayed on for three and a half months of heavy use with no signs of coming off.

Luke 11:42 "But woe to you Pharisees! For you pay tithe of mint and rue and every kind of garden herb, and yet disregard justice and the love of God; but these are the things you should have done without neglecting the others.