Praising God in the Storms

I feel like God is telling me to share this with someone today, so I am going to post it now.

Praising God in the midst of my losses, not for the losses, but for God being all He is, triggered something very profound. I have yet to find words to adequately describe it. It was powerful, sustaining, comforting, securing, strengthening, and more. Not just acknowledging His greatness in those situations, but relishing in it was like being carried away from my troubles and being tucked into the warmth and security of His wing. I obeyed Him in praising Him even when my heart was deeply grieved and every part of me, even my weary spirit, was overburdened with hurt and disappointment...and He blessed me tremendously for it. I didn't "feel" like it, I just did it because that is what Scripture says to do. So whomever you are, wherever you are, and whatever you are going through, I encourage you right now to stop and praise Him. Psalm 91:4 He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

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"We are to praise God in all circumstances. Do you know what the word “all” literally means? It means all. Seriously. No matter what crisis we find ourselves facing, we are to choose to give God praise. No matter how dark or painful the storm may be, we are to choose to give God praise.

Praise is not an emotion. It is a choice.

Thanksgiving is not a feeling. It is a choice.

We are not necessarily praising God for the trial or the crisis or the storm. We are choosing to give God praise and thanks because of who He is … despite the painful circumstance we are facing.

Sing to God, sing praises to His name; Cast up a highway for Him who rides through the deserts; whose name is the Lord, and exult before Him (Psalm 68:4)." ~Choose Praise Girlfriends in God

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Evidently a lot of people needed this post. Thank you to all who have written me. My heart goes out to each one of you. My prayers are for you.

Lessons In the Storms

This life has many storms. I am not talking about when your paycheck is a few days late or when your neighbor stops talking to you because your cat used her flowerbed as a litter box. I am talking about anguishing deep within your soul over a situation you are powerless to change or escape. Suffering whips us around until we are so battered we can't stand it any longer. It is right in the midst of our struggle that people start watching and relating to us as they seek a way out of their own suffering. Our powerlessness to prevail against the storms of life reduces us and magnifies His power to a hungry world. That reduction of self (humility) is key to Christian growth because it takes the focus off of ourselves and puts it where it should be. Relying fully on Him, we are able to do the things we should have been doing all along. It is the genuine worship of a God who didn't bow to our desires to change the situation ...that makes the world wonder why He is worthy of such love. It is the strength, peace beyond understanding, hope, thankfulness, and especially the joy which seems so unlikely, that makes others want what you have found. It is when you are exhausted, gasping for the next breath, bleeding out everything that you are that God fills you with Himself and equips you for doing His work.

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“Christianity teaches that, contra fatalism, suffering is overwhelming; contra Buddhism, suffering is real; contra karma, suffering is often unfair; but contra secularism, suffering is meaningful. There is a purpose to it, and if faced rightly, it can drive us like a nail deep into the love of God and into more stability and spiritual power than you can imagine.”  Tim Keller

“While Christianity was able to agree with pagan writers that inordinate attachment to earthly goods can lead to unnecessary pain and grief, it also taught that the answer to this was not to love things less but to love God more than anything else. Only when our greatest love is God, a love that we cannot lose even in death, can we face all things with peace. Grief was not to be eliminated but seasoned and buoyed up with love and hope.” Tim Keller

“Suffering is unbearable if you aren’t certain that God is for you and with you.”  Tim Keller

“Some suffering is given in order to chastise and correct a person for wrongful patterns of life (as in the case of Jonah imperiled by the storm), some suffering is given not to correct past wrongs but to prevent future ones (as in the case of Joseph sold into slavery), and some suffering has no purpose other than to lead a person to love God more ardently for himself alone and so discover the ultimate peace and freedom.” Tim Keller (emphasis mine)

"There is a love stronger than the chaos, running underneath us, beckoning us to go below the skin-deep externals, beyond the wind, even into the eye of the storm. "Hello Hurricane! You're not enough. You can't silence my love." -Jon Foreman 

2 Corinthians 4:7-9 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed,but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

A Year Ago Today

A year ago today, we could have lost Amanda in a rollover vehicle accident. One in three people involved in those types of accidents die. A few weeks after her accident, a man rolled his truck in our immediate area. He did not make it. We feel very blessed to still have our daughter.

You can go here to see the stomach dropping scene I walked up on that day. Those pictures still get to me. We have had several people tell us Amanda was "lucky" or that "someone kept her safe" because "by all rights, she should have been hurt or worse." What we haven't shared before is that there was a 30 lb object on the floor of the truck that went right by her head on its way out the driver's window. That alone could have taken her from us. Her heavy textbooks flew everywhere, but did not harm her. God protected her and increased her personal testimony of how God answers prayer during times of crisis. 

When Amanda was younger, she had the diagnosis of a "severe sleepwalker." She has woken up in a police station (11 years old) and in the middle of the woods at night (14 years old). This accident makes three times Amanda has cried out to Him and has been safely delivered from very terrifying situations. When Amanda shares about how afraid she has been and how God comforted her immediately and provided a way to safety, people listen. She is only 18, but has already had some amazing faith journeys.

If you are one of the people who walked with us through that very scary day or someone who prayed for us, we thank you again and ask you to do one more thing: 

Please join us today in giving praise and glory to the Lord for keeping her safe! Say a prayer of thankfulness, praise His name out loud, or turn on the radio and sing worship songs to Him. He is worthy!

..and another special thank you to my friend Carla who prayed for me upon the Lord's prompting and took the time out of her day to tell me about it and expressed her concern for me a day or so right before the accident. In the midst of that scene and my fear and confusion, I thought "THIS is what God had Carla praying for!! He already has this covered!"

Good News!!

God has been gracious to our family once again! PTL! The sleepwalking issues she's had do not look like it played any part of Amanda's accident. If it had, she would have to surrender her driver's license! No need for further testing! No need for follow up visits! (And, they think her sleep issues are GONE for good! Won't know for a few years yet, but it looks that way!)

For everyone who has prayed for her during this, thank you!

Amanda said "What looked like the worst day of my life led to some of the best news of my life!"

Pray for Amanda

Amanda has been diagnosed as a highly functioning severe sleepwalker who has had dozens of sleepwalking incidents including two that took her out of our home. Sleepwalking and seizures are linked in some cases. We have not found a link with Amanda to date.

Sleepwalking can occur in the daytime which is a lesson our family learned the hard way three years ago. Amanda sat down on the couch one morning and slipped into a sleepwalking state. Drs speculate she dozed off or had a small seizure. She then walked out of our home and into the woods. She remembers nothing from the time she sat on the couch until she was woken by the noise of a search and rescue helicopter nine hours later.

While it would be less frightening to us to believe she just made a mistake as an inexperienced driver, there is some evidence that the sleepwalking/seizures could have contributed to the accident. Clint and I have been praying something would disprove our concern. Instead, what we have learned has concerned us more. That, linked with the timing of the accident and things I observed that morning, has to be investigated.

This will not be fun for Amanda. She is going to have to undergo seizure testing again. Depending on the test results, it could change her life radically. We broke the news to her yesterday. She grew very quiet which is her way when she is upset and afraid. We absolutely hated to burden this sweet child with anything else right now.

Our responsibility as parents demands we explore what has been revealed. Clint and I see how this accident might be God's way of alerting us to a larger issue. We thank Him for the opportunity. God has been and continues to be very good to us. 

Amanda has had testing previously, but no seizures were apparent. The thing about the testing is this: It can only find seizures if they are triggered, but it can't rule them out if they don't happen during the test. They are very expensive, and a negative test isn't conclusive. 

Please keep her, her doctors, and the testing she will endure in prayer as we go forward. Ultimately, we hope there isn't any seizure activity so her life can resume as normal, but if there is something to be found, we certainly want to find it. When you pray for us, remember to rejoice with us. As a fireman said "It's a miracle she's alive." 

‎"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." ~ Jeremiah 29:11-13

Faith in the Darkness

Clint and I were asked how we stay positive in a world so full of bad events and evil people. If you have read through the blog, then you know that our family has been through some challenging things like several miscarriages, having a missing child, a flooded home, and a significant loss due to fire. These things have not eroded our faith, but have built it and our testimony for the Lord. God did not bring these things into our lives to harm us, but to strengthen us. We suffered no lasting monetary loss because God left us better off afterwards than before the losses. Our child was kept safe when she was missing on two separate and traumatic sleepwalking events. Our miscarried babies are not "lost" but will share eternity with God's people.

Romans 12: 2

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Psalm 37:1-9

Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity.
For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb. 
Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.
Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.
And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.
Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.
Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.
For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the Lord, they shall inherit the earth.

Sleepwalking and Beauty College

On Friday, Clint swung by Amanda's beauty college on the way home from work. It was a real emergency!!! Amanda did not want her hair to get wet in the heavy rain! Clint moved her car closer to the door for her at my request. She had helped me earlier in the day by bringing home a gate key, so I was happy to enlist Clint to help her out.

Amanda's instructor made a point to talking to Clint while he was there. She told him Amanda is very intelligent and doing very well. She said Amanda has talent. She also said Amanda is not afraid of anything and that there was something different about her that she just couldn't put into words.

I am thankful the instructor sees the hard work and effort Amanda is putting into her classes. I am also thankful Amanda is doing so well. She went from a homeschool routine that allowed her to rest as needed into a fast paced 40 hour week in a new environment surrounded by new people and constant new challenges. She still comes home and cheerfully contributes to our family and then tackles homework. I have watched her carefully for signs of weariness. She has breezed through it with a great attitude.

Amanda is fairly fearless, and cosmetology isn't going to shake her up. Two and a half years ago, Amanda woke up in the middle of a the night to find herself lying on the ground in a forest. She did not know how she arrived there. She had no idea where she was or how she would find her way home. She was unaware she had been sleepwalking for nine hours while we desperately searched for her. When she woke up, she was bewildered and terrified beyond the comprehension of most people. She called upon the Lord. He answered her. He led her right to her home and into my arms. Since that time, she has written a lot of music about God's love and protection over His children. There is something very different about her; she is a young woman full of faith.

Bad Day

Sunday, while Clint, Brandon and Amanda were at the park playing paintball, I had a horrible time of it here. Everything that could go wrong did. I won't bore you with all the details, but it was bad.

I also learned the hard way that you should not attempt to stand for hours at at time if you have been nearly flat on bed rest for four months straight. My muscles are very weak and the baby has grown and stressed my back further. My back was hurting so bad I could not lift my feet more than 2-3 inches. I could not even climb the stairs, which is where our only bathroom is. After five hours on my feet, I could barely move.

Bethany went to the bathroom. She did not come down after 15 minutes, so I sent Joshua up. He came back confused and said he could not find her. I relived the horrible moment when I found Amanda's bed empty in the middle of the night she sleepwalked. I sent Joshua up to look for her again and again. After nearly an hour, he finally found her. She had grown tired and put herself down for a nap behind the piled up covers. When she woke up and came back downstairs, she was well rested and I had new grey hair.

Clint forgot to bring in wood. Well, he brought in six small pieces to last all day. I think he was a bit preoccupied with getting to the park! When I realized I needed wood for heat, it was too late. I knew I could not navigate the steps out or back in and could most definitely not carry wood. We burned paper to make the wood last longer and stayed close to the wood stove when the house temperature started dropping.

Amanda left without feeding the horse. She usually does this at a certain time every a.m. About 1 p.m., Hot Shot had ENOUGH with waiting and set to putting up such a ruckus, I had bad thoughts. The first was "Someone is going to hear this and report us for animal abuse." A couple of hours later it was: "If he keeps that up, I just might GIVE him something to carry on about." :-)

On and on it went. Being optimistic, it takes a lot for me to call a day bad, but Sunday was BAD.