The first time Clint took me home to meet his mother, she looked me over from head to toe a couple of times with a very rude and hostile face. Clint surprised her with my presence, but she was definitely not polite or welcoming. I learned later that she did not care for my mother, so I imagine that played into it.
I have never forgotten how that look of contempt in those first moments made me feel unwelcome in her home and her life. I have also often reflected on how her first meeting and reaction to me told the tale of how the relationship would progress. It grieved my heart that she rejected me from the outset, and she died without making things right with my husband and me.
I am so thankful for her example which led me to do differently so that I can choose to do better for the girls my sons bring into our lives.
Every time my sons bring home a girl, right off the bat, I crack a joke to make them laugh to put them at ease. Then, I hug them like my paternal grandmother, Elsie aka "Buttercup," taught me. She hugged everybody who come to her home. As a follow-up to our first meeting, I give them a bracelet with a Bible verse on it. I choose the verse based on what I learned about the girl during our meeting. So far, I have given four girls bracelets. I chose that particular one for Elora because I believe she has a lot of inner strength from her health issues.
Only God knows which girl I meet will be "the one," so I show all of them His love and acceptance with an eye on the future relationship.
I have not come up with a gift for the young men my girls bring home yet, but I have been very friendly and welcoming. We had one who participated in Bible studies with Clint for a long time. I would like to find an appropriate gift that will remind them of how we welcomed them into our lives.
Dear Reader, Not every person who treats you poorly is a bad person. Nor does their dislike of you mean you are a bad person. It simply means the two of you do not get along. We humans have so many hang up and flaws that is natural that some relationships will not be what we would like even though we are thriving in many other relationships. Some people remind us of someone else or another situation we were in and cause us to put up defensive walls. I think that is what my mother-in-law tried to explain to me once when she apologized for how she poorly had treated me. What is wonderful is that when we are hurt by someone, we can CHOOSE to learn from them how to do better for the next person we encounter. My love to ALL!
