A friend asked me to share my thoughts on resilience with her. I am sharing what I wrote here for anyone it may encourage or strengthen:
Resilire from which we derive resilience means "to jump back." Resilience helps us get back to living after stressful times. Perseverance means to continue despite difficulties.
Observation: I know someone right now who has offended many because of the activities (normal life) she is doing right after a close family member has died. They would be happier if she was lying in bed crying all day. What I think many are missing is that she has grown in resilience after each of four major losses of close family in two years. She's traveled the grief road so many times lately, she knows where to place her feet so she can navigate each step a little faster. I've watched her persevere while things were unbearably difficult. She still got out of bed each day and worked and took care of her family. I have seen her grow in resilience in the fact that she can get back to working and caring for her family faster than she did with the first loss which caused her to shut down for a while. She just went through something extremely sudden, ugly, and hard, (nightmarish) through another loss, but it's clear she also knows the value of making each moment count. She's grown in appreciating her life and the lives of the ones around her more. Moments over mere existence. Her confidence in herself has grown because she knows that no matter what life throws at her next, she can survive. She has more compassion and is actively building up others. When she sees a friend with a loss, she is reaching out a hand to them. She is now well equipped to help others navigate sudden and continued grief and sorrow.
One of the definitions of resilience I came across was "to go back to the original." I pondered on that for a while. In science, that is a very useful distinction. Rubber's ability to go back to its original shape after a hammer strike makes it perfectly suited for certain applications.
In the Christian, I do not think that particular definition of resilience can be accurately applied. If we are being molded through the trials and tribulations of this life, we won't go back to how we were before the blow came. We can go back to the daily routine of living, but inside we will be forever altered by the hard things we go through. We will be made better than we were before!! And that, Janet, fills me with tearful gratitude for a loving Father who gave His only Son and continues to oh so patiently and gently work within me to make me more like Him. I want the resilience that keeps me working for His glory but not the resilience that takes me back to where I was before life sucker punched me.
My love to all!
