Over the last 15 years, I have had many friends who have had parents and grandparents who had/have Alzheimer's or dementia. All of their stories are unique and special, but there is one I am observing now that is so beautiful. It touches my heart often because of my friend's deep love for her mother.
My friend's mother use to run a business I frequented as a teen. She has dementia and has good days and bad days. My friend takes each day as it comes. She wakes with no expectations other than caring for her mom in whatever way her mom needs.
One morning, the mom woke up thinking she had just had a baby. My friend drove her to the "hospital" (a store) to pick up (purchase) the baby (a doll.) They spent all day caring for and loving on the doll together. My friend buys used preemie clothing to dress the baby to help renew her mom's joy in the doll.
Another morning, the mom thought it was someone's wedding. They put on makeup, got dressed up, and took a long ride until her mom fell asleep.
"She indulged me all of the years of my childhood. I can indulge her now. Her mind will never be the same as it was. I can make the most of the time I have left with her by finding ways to enjoy her company."
I love how my friend is serving her mother by meeting her right where her mother is in her mind. My friend has changed her lifestyle and given up a lot to seize these precious moments and care for her mother. She has never complained at how much she has had to give up. There are more hard days than good ones, but she is seizing the good moments and making the most of them as they come.
Her way of caring for her mother goes far beyond just giving her care. It's sacrificial love in action, and I am thankful I get to witness it close up.
