After I shared Willie's Big Tree, I was asked where to find an online tree age calculator.
This one says 265 years old. It lumps all elms together.
"The Elm with stem circumference of 168 inch is approximately 265 years old."
This one says the elm tree is 214 years old. It only does one type of elm.
"Estimated Age of Tree: 214 years old.
This tree could have started growing in 1805.
About 1805: In 1805, Thomas Jefferson was President. Our flag had 15 stars, which included latest states Vermont and Kentucky."
I apologize for taking so long to answer this... 'been "a little bit" going on.
Thursday, October 31, 2019
Wednesday, October 30, 2019
That They May See Him
Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy; Psalm 107:2
Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven. Matthew 5:16
Our goal from the very beginning of this blog was to share our family's stories, our testimony, and of God's work in our lives. Before this blog, I wrote for other sites including electronic and print publications. I stopped writing at one point. I had enough to do, and I couldn't do the writing as well as I wanted in the time that was leftover. There were plenty of other excuses too.
Then my husband and I were nearly killed by a driver in a murderous rage who was going home to get his gun to finish an argument. He veered into our lane and went back to his lane at the very last second. It was so close I exclaimed, "LORD! MY CHILDREN!" meaning "Lord, please take care of my children!" In that split second, Clint and I both thought we were going to die.
The young man then hit a telephone pole and was killed instantly. He was partially ejected. We were the first responders. We tended to his pregnant girlfriend's compound fractures, missing teeth, and shock, and put out the fire and warned others of the downed power lines.
For weeks, I had an opportunity to encourage his girlfriend not to abort her baby as her entire family was advising her to do. She told me I gave her a new way to think about the life growing inside of her. Sadly, she did abort the baby due to pressure from her family.
That near death moment changed me. I have felt the "shortness of time" ever since. I laid aside the excuses and started writing again settling for the best I could do with whatever time was available. What you see here is a result of that change within me. I started this blog a few days after that event. I shared about that accident in detail, but most of the posts regarding it, I removed after a few years. I didn't want his family coming across it by accident, and those posts causing them pain.
Earlier in life, as a young stay at home mother, I had asked God to expand my reach and impact for Him. I prayed that daily each morning for months. I wanted to shine a light for Him and help others in their journey, but I did not see how I could do that with me being at home with seven children. God opened the door through a humble little spot...this blog.
I have printed out most of the emails we have received from people around the globe who have visited. I save the emails in a memory box for those days I need encouragement. It reminds me to keep focused on what is important. It keeps me moving forward.
Family, friends, and many strangers come to read what is here. I've also made many new friends through this blog. City dwellers come here to learn about rural life. Children enjoy the pictures of animals we share and many homeschooled and public schooled students have studied the page on argiopes, Flat Stanley, candled chicken eggs, soap making, vinegar making, and other topics. New homesteaders in the US and abroad come to see how we built hoop houses and rabbit tractors. Foreign friends get a glimpse of American life.
This blog is like a warm hello, or so I've been told, to people with limited mobility due to age or disability. It expands their world and gives them a family to keep up with.
There is also a well known Christian book author who reads here on occasion.
We are now reaching people in several colleges thanks to friends' children who have an interest in Coal Road. They have shared that link and now we are "meeting" more and more college students. Since then, the Coal Road pages have even received hits from several government and business offices expanding our reach even further.
Mothers who are working hard to care for their children and don't get to see many adults come here for a little friendly company. Many people have told me I have the gift of encouraging others and say they come here for that very reason.
Homeschooling groups have shared our articles in their print newsletters. Churches and baby loss ministries have published the stories about my losses to help other women know they are not alone and to help those who are ministering to them to know what is helpful and what is not.
We have been contacted by Sunday School classes, Bible study groups and churches all around the world who have asked if they can print and use some of the material on forgiveness, difficult relationships, love, and attitudes found here. We have helped hospitals, again all around the world, through the pictures of Caleb's appendix story.
We have encouraged others indirectly to have sterilization reversals and have more children. Some of the children that were born, in part because of our testimony of God's provision, are young people we consider to be like family. There are more Christians alive today sharing God's Word with others because of our testimony of God's provision to large families. That's amazing to me!
My struggle with severe hyperemesis gravidarum has convinced others to keep fighting and not have abortions. It has strengthened women with long term illnesses to continue caring for their children. Backslidden Christians have written to me to say they have turned their lives around and to ask for advice. Mothers have found easier or more economical ways to do things. Struggling people have been strengthened to keep moving forward. People without family have adopted us and pray faithfully for us.
Estranged families, including some of our own, have been healed because of words I have written. Family members who we have not seen in a long time have contacted us too. Most importantly, souls have been redeemed through this blog! This is GOD, not our family and certainly not me, working good! If He can work this much through our lives, He can do it through yours too, if you let Him.
I have shared things that I really do not enjoy having out there, but we are called to "Let your light shine before men" and to "make known his deeds among the peoples!" We are not to hide our lives like we are doing something wrong. We are to "live out loud!" This blog is not about my or anyone else's comfort. I am sharing the same types of things I've always shared.
This blog is about pointing others through the good and the bad of our lives to something very real and worthwhile--a Holy God who wants people reconciled to Him through Jesus' sacrifice.
I've had an incredible amount of support over the years, but there have been a few critics. Some people are offended that I use "so many Bible verses." I am aware of one friend who never sees Bible verses outside of this blog. A few older ladies don't like that I share about pregnancy because it makes their generation uncomfortable that men might also read here, and it ties in with that taboo subject of sex. Sex and pregnancy are mentioned frequently in the Bible, and pregnancy has been a large part of what God has given me to share with others. It's my story. I'm going to use it! One person thinks I should give it more structure with certain types of posts on certain days. To plan it that way would require time I do not have in this stage of life. I am doing the best I can with the time leftover from my responsibilities.
I've also had a friend come to me and wonder if something was written about her. I think it showed a lot of courage and Christian maturity to come and speak with me about what was troubling her instead of brooding. I showed her my personal notes proving it was regarding something else, and it eased her heart. She shared with me that she had said something similar to someone and could not remember if it was to me or not, so she wanted to come clear the air by apologizing and making things right.
I have one friend who can't handle any mention of my baby losses. While my heart sympathizes and I have empathy for her struggles in that area, I told her I would still share about my losses because it is the story God has given me to help hurting women. She understands and still comes to read, but she skips over those posts. She leaves what she can't bear to read or think about and takes what she finds helpful with her.
No one has complained, so this is not directed at anyone. I just want to put it out there as we go forward. If by chance some of the things shared here make you unhappy or uncomfortable, maybe you can overlook the discomfort and rejoice that God seems to be using this humble little blog. If something irritates you, examine yourself and ask why. Is it about "your flesh" being uncomfortable with some of the topics or illustrations, or did I misrepresent the love of the Lord, His goodness to us, and His desire for people to come to know Him?
I ask you, dear reader, to pray with us that God uses this poorly written little blog, authored when I am at my tiredest, to be a blessing to even more people. I am a warrior servant for the Lord. I am very serious-minded about sharing Him with others. I am thankful He can take someone as flawed as me and use me.
Again, no one has said anything, and this is not about anyone...but I feel like I should put it out here:
*These things did not happen all at once but over many years as we shared.
The blog is a family effort. Brandon has been doing back end checks and maintenance for many years. He oversees the stuff I don't care to do. Clint has final say over posts and is backing it up for our family history. Every family member participates in some way or another, and I often ask permission before I share their personal information.
Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven. Matthew 5:16
Our goal from the very beginning of this blog was to share our family's stories, our testimony, and of God's work in our lives. Before this blog, I wrote for other sites including electronic and print publications. I stopped writing at one point. I had enough to do, and I couldn't do the writing as well as I wanted in the time that was leftover. There were plenty of other excuses too.
Then my husband and I were nearly killed by a driver in a murderous rage who was going home to get his gun to finish an argument. He veered into our lane and went back to his lane at the very last second. It was so close I exclaimed, "LORD! MY CHILDREN!" meaning "Lord, please take care of my children!" In that split second, Clint and I both thought we were going to die.
The young man then hit a telephone pole and was killed instantly. He was partially ejected. We were the first responders. We tended to his pregnant girlfriend's compound fractures, missing teeth, and shock, and put out the fire and warned others of the downed power lines.
For weeks, I had an opportunity to encourage his girlfriend not to abort her baby as her entire family was advising her to do. She told me I gave her a new way to think about the life growing inside of her. Sadly, she did abort the baby due to pressure from her family.
That near death moment changed me. I have felt the "shortness of time" ever since. I laid aside the excuses and started writing again settling for the best I could do with whatever time was available. What you see here is a result of that change within me. I started this blog a few days after that event. I shared about that accident in detail, but most of the posts regarding it, I removed after a few years. I didn't want his family coming across it by accident, and those posts causing them pain.
Earlier in life, as a young stay at home mother, I had asked God to expand my reach and impact for Him. I prayed that daily each morning for months. I wanted to shine a light for Him and help others in their journey, but I did not see how I could do that with me being at home with seven children. God opened the door through a humble little spot...this blog.
I have printed out most of the emails we have received from people around the globe who have visited. I save the emails in a memory box for those days I need encouragement. It reminds me to keep focused on what is important. It keeps me moving forward.
Family, friends, and many strangers come to read what is here. I've also made many new friends through this blog. City dwellers come here to learn about rural life. Children enjoy the pictures of animals we share and many homeschooled and public schooled students have studied the page on argiopes, Flat Stanley, candled chicken eggs, soap making, vinegar making, and other topics. New homesteaders in the US and abroad come to see how we built hoop houses and rabbit tractors. Foreign friends get a glimpse of American life.
This blog is like a warm hello, or so I've been told, to people with limited mobility due to age or disability. It expands their world and gives them a family to keep up with.
There is also a well known Christian book author who reads here on occasion.
We are now reaching people in several colleges thanks to friends' children who have an interest in Coal Road. They have shared that link and now we are "meeting" more and more college students. Since then, the Coal Road pages have even received hits from several government and business offices expanding our reach even further.
Mothers who are working hard to care for their children and don't get to see many adults come here for a little friendly company. Many people have told me I have the gift of encouraging others and say they come here for that very reason.
Homeschooling groups have shared our articles in their print newsletters. Churches and baby loss ministries have published the stories about my losses to help other women know they are not alone and to help those who are ministering to them to know what is helpful and what is not.
We have been contacted by Sunday School classes, Bible study groups and churches all around the world who have asked if they can print and use some of the material on forgiveness, difficult relationships, love, and attitudes found here. We have helped hospitals, again all around the world, through the pictures of Caleb's appendix story.
We have encouraged others indirectly to have sterilization reversals and have more children. Some of the children that were born, in part because of our testimony of God's provision, are young people we consider to be like family. There are more Christians alive today sharing God's Word with others because of our testimony of God's provision to large families. That's amazing to me!
My struggle with severe hyperemesis gravidarum has convinced others to keep fighting and not have abortions. It has strengthened women with long term illnesses to continue caring for their children. Backslidden Christians have written to me to say they have turned their lives around and to ask for advice. Mothers have found easier or more economical ways to do things. Struggling people have been strengthened to keep moving forward. People without family have adopted us and pray faithfully for us.
Estranged families, including some of our own, have been healed because of words I have written. Family members who we have not seen in a long time have contacted us too. Most importantly, souls have been redeemed through this blog! This is GOD, not our family and certainly not me, working good! If He can work this much through our lives, He can do it through yours too, if you let Him.
I have shared things that I really do not enjoy having out there, but we are called to "Let your light shine before men" and to "make known his deeds among the peoples!" We are not to hide our lives like we are doing something wrong. We are to "live out loud!" This blog is not about my or anyone else's comfort. I am sharing the same types of things I've always shared.
This blog is about pointing others through the good and the bad of our lives to something very real and worthwhile--a Holy God who wants people reconciled to Him through Jesus' sacrifice.
I've had an incredible amount of support over the years, but there have been a few critics. Some people are offended that I use "so many Bible verses." I am aware of one friend who never sees Bible verses outside of this blog. A few older ladies don't like that I share about pregnancy because it makes their generation uncomfortable that men might also read here, and it ties in with that taboo subject of sex. Sex and pregnancy are mentioned frequently in the Bible, and pregnancy has been a large part of what God has given me to share with others. It's my story. I'm going to use it! One person thinks I should give it more structure with certain types of posts on certain days. To plan it that way would require time I do not have in this stage of life. I am doing the best I can with the time leftover from my responsibilities.
I've also had a friend come to me and wonder if something was written about her. I think it showed a lot of courage and Christian maturity to come and speak with me about what was troubling her instead of brooding. I showed her my personal notes proving it was regarding something else, and it eased her heart. She shared with me that she had said something similar to someone and could not remember if it was to me or not, so she wanted to come clear the air by apologizing and making things right.
I have one friend who can't handle any mention of my baby losses. While my heart sympathizes and I have empathy for her struggles in that area, I told her I would still share about my losses because it is the story God has given me to help hurting women. She understands and still comes to read, but she skips over those posts. She leaves what she can't bear to read or think about and takes what she finds helpful with her.
No one has complained, so this is not directed at anyone. I just want to put it out there as we go forward. If by chance some of the things shared here make you unhappy or uncomfortable, maybe you can overlook the discomfort and rejoice that God seems to be using this humble little blog. If something irritates you, examine yourself and ask why. Is it about "your flesh" being uncomfortable with some of the topics or illustrations, or did I misrepresent the love of the Lord, His goodness to us, and His desire for people to come to know Him?
I ask you, dear reader, to pray with us that God uses this poorly written little blog, authored when I am at my tiredest, to be a blessing to even more people. I am a warrior servant for the Lord. I am very serious-minded about sharing Him with others. I am thankful He can take someone as flawed as me and use me.
Again, no one has said anything, and this is not about anyone...but I feel like I should put it out here:
If you can't get on board with what we share here,
then maybe you can get on board with WHY.
For everyone who does evil hates the Light,
and does not come to the Light
for fear that his deeds will be exposed.
But he who practices the truth comes to the Light,
so that his deeds may be manifested
as having been wrought in God.
John 3:20-21
*These things did not happen all at once but over many years as we shared.
The blog is a family effort. Brandon has been doing back end checks and maintenance for many years. He oversees the stuff I don't care to do. Clint has final say over posts and is backing it up for our family history. Every family member participates in some way or another, and I often ask permission before I share their personal information.
Monday, October 28, 2019
Caleb's Surgery Day
To send Caleb a free favorite Bible verse or word of
encouragement: https://sentaraecards.com/
Norfolk General Hospital Room 446
Caleb woke up this morning in pain. He calmly told me that his lung was partially collapsed again. He had some pain but was breathing fine. Pain level was a 5. I called for Clint who was finishing up his shower and recommended they leave for the hospital early. They did. The pain decreased some en route, so we believe it recovered a little on the way. He said it is still partially collapsed, but the pain level is at 1.
We are thankful God allowed Caleb to come home, visit with family and friends, eat some hearty meals, and get some decent rest.
They arrived early and explained Caleb was having symptoms of pneumothorax again. The hospital checked him in and prepped him for the aggressive pleurodesis surgery early. Caleb is watching tv and waiting for surgery as I type. I will update here on what happens. Caleb will not be up for visitors for the next 3-5 days unless it is family. As of now, we only plan to have a couple of us visit because he will be hurting so much. Please read the post further below to understand his surgery and how he will feel afterwards. This is a hard journey with months of pain.
prepped for surgery
He has requested I make him "Mama Asbell's Lasagna" for when he comes home, so I am making the online order for the ingredients today.
12:11 p.m. The OR nurse just saw Caleb. He said the surgery will be two hours from when they knock him out until he wakes up in the recovery room. Surgery should be at 12:30 p.m. They are x-raying his lung to see what has happened this morning.
12:46 p.m. Caleb is on his way to the OR. His surgeon met with him shortly before they took him. His lung is collapsed 20mm. We know it was worse than that this morning because his pain was a lot worse and later improved.
12:11 p.m. The OR nurse just saw Caleb. He said the surgery will be two hours from when they knock him out until he wakes up in the recovery room. Surgery should be at 12:30 p.m. They are x-raying his lung to see what has happened this morning.
12:46 p.m. Caleb is on his way to the OR. His surgeon met with him shortly before they took him. His lung is collapsed 20mm. We know it was worse than that this morning because his pain was a lot worse and later improved.
doc tattooed him
off to surgery
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity,
but of power, love, and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7
2:11 p.m. A nurse just called from the OR room. Surgery went great! He did great! They are removing the breathing tube and closing one of the holes. (He has two drain tubes.) Within a few hours, he will need to get up and walk. (Correction: He will not need to walk until tomorrow.)
3:14 p.m. Thank you EVERYONE for all of the prayers. Clint just spoke with the doctor. Caleb's lung is very healthy. They did not see any blebs (air sacs) causing the collapses, but one could have been hidden. If there is one, the pleurodesis will take care of it. Clint will be with Caleb in about 20-30 minutes. Visiting: I know a group of his friends and his "baby mama" want to see him. If you want to visit, please wait 3-5 days. Talking, laughing, coughing, sneezing, moving, etc will be excruciating for him. Sleep is the best thing for him right now. His own family is holding off from seeing him because we would rather he rested for his own well-being than interact with us. C-Dawg won't compromise on the visiting, and I agree. Please ask one of his family members by phone or text before you make the trip.
4:13 p.m. Clint is with him now. Caleb told him he's hurting. The nurses knew and are trying to help him. They had to get him to wake up before they could address the pain.
5:00 p.m. We were told a pain pump would be added during surgery so he'd have it when he woke up. For some reason, it was not done. Nurses do not know why. It's in his charts, but he came out of surgery without it. They are trying to get on top of his pain and get the pump. His lung/chest cavity have been scraped to the point they are bleeding/draining into boxes sitting on the floor by his bed. The max dose of morphine did very little. They've added percocet. He tried to doze, but the pain wakes him up. Please pray for Caleb.
5:45 p.m. Clint said he can see the prayers working. Caleb has some relief. He's even been able to drink and eat a few bites in the last few minutes. The drink really helped his throat from the intubation. The thoughtful nurse brought him two meals so Caleb can eat what he wants from both. (Clint will get some food that way too, if he wants it.) THANK YOU for the prayers you lifted for Caleb. There is no word on why the pain pump was not installed and if he will get it.
Caleb ate a few bites and fell asleep. Then they came in five minutes later, woke him up, and made him stand. The picture Clint sent me of Caleb clearly shows the pain is back and worse from the moving around. Please pray for our boy.
3:14 p.m. Thank you EVERYONE for all of the prayers. Clint just spoke with the doctor. Caleb's lung is very healthy. They did not see any blebs (air sacs) causing the collapses, but one could have been hidden. If there is one, the pleurodesis will take care of it. Clint will be with Caleb in about 20-30 minutes. Visiting: I know a group of his friends and his "baby mama" want to see him. If you want to visit, please wait 3-5 days. Talking, laughing, coughing, sneezing, moving, etc will be excruciating for him. Sleep is the best thing for him right now. His own family is holding off from seeing him because we would rather he rested for his own well-being than interact with us. C-Dawg won't compromise on the visiting, and I agree. Please ask one of his family members by phone or text before you make the trip.
4:13 p.m. Clint is with him now. Caleb told him he's hurting. The nurses knew and are trying to help him. They had to get him to wake up before they could address the pain.
5:00 p.m. We were told a pain pump would be added during surgery so he'd have it when he woke up. For some reason, it was not done. Nurses do not know why. It's in his charts, but he came out of surgery without it. They are trying to get on top of his pain and get the pump. His lung/chest cavity have been scraped to the point they are bleeding/draining into boxes sitting on the floor by his bed. The max dose of morphine did very little. They've added percocet. He tried to doze, but the pain wakes him up. Please pray for Caleb.
5:45 p.m. Clint said he can see the prayers working. Caleb has some relief. He's even been able to drink and eat a few bites in the last few minutes. The drink really helped his throat from the intubation. The thoughtful nurse brought him two meals so Caleb can eat what he wants from both. (Clint will get some food that way too, if he wants it.) THANK YOU for the prayers you lifted for Caleb. There is no word on why the pain pump was not installed and if he will get it.
Caleb ate a few bites and fell asleep. Then they came in five minutes later, woke him up, and made him stand. The picture Clint sent me of Caleb clearly shows the pain is back and worse from the moving around. Please pray for our boy.
To send Caleb a free favorite Bible verse or word of
encouragement: https://sentaraecards.com/
Norfolk General Hospital Room 446
Hospitals, Protocols, Medicines
Before I share this, I want to make it clear I am not disparaging hospitals or doctors. We are thankful for their services. However, medical care has been industrialized, and that can cause problems like the one we ran into. I am sharing this to help other patients and their family members understand why they need to pay close attention and ask questions.
Clint was with Caleb. I was at home. We were talking together on the phone when Clint became very serious sounding and said "I need to go. I'll call you back." I knew something had him concerned, and he was going to deal with it.
He texted me a couple of minutes later and said they were trying to give Caleb three medications. One was an antibiotic ointment for Caleb's injured toes. We were fine with that.
The other two were of concern. They wanted to give him a blood thinner and a medicine to control his heart rate. He is 18, healthy, and his heart test was as good as it could get. Clint told the nurse he wanted to know why the medicines were prescribed and why they had not informed the patient beforehand. The nurse put in a call to the doctor to learn the details that had not been shared.
The nurse came back and said that the blood thinner was to prevent blood clots because Caleb had been in the bed for two days. Clint stated that Caleb had been in the bed much longer on previous visits, and no one gave him a blood thinner. Clint suggested they have Caleb walk around for a few minutes to accomplish the same thing as the drug. The nurse talked to the doctor again. Clint and Caleb took a walk so they'd be in a stronger position to refuse the drug, if necessary.
We never got answers as to why Caleb was almost given the heart regulating drug.
The nurse returned and said the doctor was fine with Caleb skipping both.
The next day, the doctor visited and explained the hospital has a standard protocol in place for their average patient. Set medications/practices are ordered at set intervals for that average patient. Read that again. The same things are ordered for patients around the same frames. This is not individual care. It's standardized care within an industry.
The doctor explained that the place Caleb is in has a majority of patients who are in their 70s. Caleb is much younger than the average patient and does not fit the standard protocol but was being prescribed it anyway. He said Clint and Caleb had every right to question and refuse because Caleb did not need either. The doctor apologized profusely. He encouraged them to keep a watch on everything and to keep asking questions.
The risks of those medicines at Caleb's age were far higher than any potential benefits.
Again, I am not running down the hospital or his doctor. I've seen so many people die or nearly die in hospitals lately due to mistakes, mix ups, and arrogant doctors not listening to their patients that I want to emphasize to all of our family and friends...be careful in our medical care system. The system wants it to look like highly individualized care, but it is not. People also make mistakes. Be vigilant.
Watch over yourself and your loved ones. Ask questions. Research. Be informed. Make a stand when needed. You have a right to refuse any and all medical care you deem unnecessary. Politely and firmly exercise that right when needed with good judgement and knowledge.
Clint was with Caleb. I was at home. We were talking together on the phone when Clint became very serious sounding and said "I need to go. I'll call you back." I knew something had him concerned, and he was going to deal with it.
He texted me a couple of minutes later and said they were trying to give Caleb three medications. One was an antibiotic ointment for Caleb's injured toes. We were fine with that.
The other two were of concern. They wanted to give him a blood thinner and a medicine to control his heart rate. He is 18, healthy, and his heart test was as good as it could get. Clint told the nurse he wanted to know why the medicines were prescribed and why they had not informed the patient beforehand. The nurse put in a call to the doctor to learn the details that had not been shared.
The nurse came back and said that the blood thinner was to prevent blood clots because Caleb had been in the bed for two days. Clint stated that Caleb had been in the bed much longer on previous visits, and no one gave him a blood thinner. Clint suggested they have Caleb walk around for a few minutes to accomplish the same thing as the drug. The nurse talked to the doctor again. Clint and Caleb took a walk so they'd be in a stronger position to refuse the drug, if necessary.
We never got answers as to why Caleb was almost given the heart regulating drug.
The nurse returned and said the doctor was fine with Caleb skipping both.
The next day, the doctor visited and explained the hospital has a standard protocol in place for their average patient. Set medications/practices are ordered at set intervals for that average patient. Read that again. The same things are ordered for patients around the same frames. This is not individual care. It's standardized care within an industry.
The doctor explained that the place Caleb is in has a majority of patients who are in their 70s. Caleb is much younger than the average patient and does not fit the standard protocol but was being prescribed it anyway. He said Clint and Caleb had every right to question and refuse because Caleb did not need either. The doctor apologized profusely. He encouraged them to keep a watch on everything and to keep asking questions.
The risks of those medicines at Caleb's age were far higher than any potential benefits.
Again, I am not running down the hospital or his doctor. I've seen so many people die or nearly die in hospitals lately due to mistakes, mix ups, and arrogant doctors not listening to their patients that I want to emphasize to all of our family and friends...be careful in our medical care system. The system wants it to look like highly individualized care, but it is not. People also make mistakes. Be vigilant.
Watch over yourself and your loved ones. Ask questions. Research. Be informed. Make a stand when needed. You have a right to refuse any and all medical care you deem unnecessary. Politely and firmly exercise that right when needed with good judgement and knowledge.
About Caleb's Surgery
"Tall young men are at increased risk of developing primary spontaneous pneumothorax; researchers suggest that rapid growth of the chest during growth spurts may increase the likelihood of forming blebs" source
The surgery Caleb is having is called mechanical pleurodesis aka abrasion pleurodesis. He will be under general anesthesia for one to two hours while it is being performed. A metal pad, a rough pad, or a piece of gauze will be used to injure, aka cause abrasions, to the outside of his lung and the inside of his chest cavity in the hopes that as both heal tissue adhesions will form and connect the lung to the cavity.
This is different from the chemical pleurodesis, which most of our family and friends are familiar with, in which the patient stays awake while medical grade talc is inserted into the same space. That procedure is usually performed on older patients due to the risk of cancer from the talc. If the mechanical pleurodesis does not work on Caleb, the doctor wants to do the talc. (Clint and I have found alternatives and will ask about those, if necessary.)
Caleb's thoracic surgeon's name is Clint! (Yep, another "Eastwood," but he doesn't have the cool coffee mug!) Dr. Kemp said he performs around two mechanical pleurodesis surgeries a month, and it is successful in over 75 percent of the cases. He feels fairly confident this will work for Caleb.
The first procedure, called a thoracostomy, will be the placement of the tube. Caleb will not be awake for this.
Caleb did not have any blebs visible on his xray, but there could still be one or more that were not visible. If any are found, a bleb resection surgery (image) will also be performed.
So, Caleb will have two and possibly three surgical procedures.
The surgeon made an emphasis on how painful it will be for Caleb when he wakes up. Caleb will not feel like having visitors for 3-5 days. His pain will be great during that time, and he will be on a pain pump. His pain will be significant for two weeks. He can still need pain relievers two months or longer post op. Yes, TWO MONTHS. He will not be able to drive, lift over 10 lbs, or exert himself in any way for a month. He will likely be in the hospital for 7-10 days.
We still have younger children and have a lot going on in our lives. We live over an hour from the hospital. Clint and I are dividing and conquering. Clint is with Caleb overseeing his needs. A young man in the hospital needs help doing things his father is better suited at handling. I am at home with our younger children and keeping things going. I have commitments I need to keep and will be away from home two to three nights during Caleb's hospital stay. The youngest three will travel with me.
Clint is running out of paid vacation, but his boss is helping him by allowing him to work weekends and allow it to count for his regular days which gives him vacation days back...if you can make sense of that. Brandon, Amanda, and Joshua may all stay a night with Caleb too. Clint will be there during the worst of Caleb's pain. Something happened that makes it necessary for one of us to watch over the medications they are giving him. I'll explain that later for educational purposes.
Thank you for all of the prayers you lift on Caleb's behalf!
The surgery Caleb is having is called mechanical pleurodesis aka abrasion pleurodesis. He will be under general anesthesia for one to two hours while it is being performed. A metal pad, a rough pad, or a piece of gauze will be used to injure, aka cause abrasions, to the outside of his lung and the inside of his chest cavity in the hopes that as both heal tissue adhesions will form and connect the lung to the cavity.
This is different from the chemical pleurodesis, which most of our family and friends are familiar with, in which the patient stays awake while medical grade talc is inserted into the same space. That procedure is usually performed on older patients due to the risk of cancer from the talc. If the mechanical pleurodesis does not work on Caleb, the doctor wants to do the talc. (Clint and I have found alternatives and will ask about those, if necessary.)
Caleb's thoracic surgeon's name is Clint! (Yep, another "Eastwood," but he doesn't have the cool coffee mug!) Dr. Kemp said he performs around two mechanical pleurodesis surgeries a month, and it is successful in over 75 percent of the cases. He feels fairly confident this will work for Caleb.
The first procedure, called a thoracostomy, will be the placement of the tube. Caleb will not be awake for this.
Caleb did not have any blebs visible on his xray, but there could still be one or more that were not visible. If any are found, a bleb resection surgery (image) will also be performed.
So, Caleb will have two and possibly three surgical procedures.
The surgeon made an emphasis on how painful it will be for Caleb when he wakes up. Caleb will not feel like having visitors for 3-5 days. His pain will be great during that time, and he will be on a pain pump. His pain will be significant for two weeks. He can still need pain relievers two months or longer post op. Yes, TWO MONTHS. He will not be able to drive, lift over 10 lbs, or exert himself in any way for a month. He will likely be in the hospital for 7-10 days.
We still have younger children and have a lot going on in our lives. We live over an hour from the hospital. Clint and I are dividing and conquering. Clint is with Caleb overseeing his needs. A young man in the hospital needs help doing things his father is better suited at handling. I am at home with our younger children and keeping things going. I have commitments I need to keep and will be away from home two to three nights during Caleb's hospital stay. The youngest three will travel with me.
Clint is running out of paid vacation, but his boss is helping him by allowing him to work weekends and allow it to count for his regular days which gives him vacation days back...if you can make sense of that. Brandon, Amanda, and Joshua may all stay a night with Caleb too. Clint will be there during the worst of Caleb's pain. Something happened that makes it necessary for one of us to watch over the medications they are giving him. I'll explain that later for educational purposes.
Thank you for all of the prayers you lift on Caleb's behalf!
Please Pray: Caleb's Lung Collapsed Again
12:27 p.m. Caleb's boss thinks Caleb's lung has collapsed. I am having trouble getting reception where I am and was not able to hear all of the details. Joshua is heading to CFA to be with his brother. Clint is trying to call and learn what is happening. Three (actually I learned later it was four) providers and several people can't get decent reception. Please start praying.
1:24 p.m. Caleb did have a respiratory emergency at work just a few minutes ago. It scared him and everyone else, but he is stable atm. Joshua went to pick him up. Clint is hoping to intercept them. I am without a car and am trying to get home to pack what they need and to be with our younger children. We are hoping his lung does not collapse any more until he is at the hospital, but I told Joshua to be ready for it if it does happen. Caleb knows he will need surgery this time, so he's not happy. We are trying to get him to Williamsburg Sentara. There is a lot going on trying to get everyone where they need to be.
1:34 p.m. Clint has Caleb and is enroute to the hospital. Joshua is on his way to me so I can go home and pack what they need. I have not asked for any more details because I know how important it is to get Caleb to the hospital asap before his lung fully collapses. I will update with details asap. Please pray for my boy.
2:01 p.m. Caleb has arrived at the Williamsburg Sentara hospital safely and is being cared for.
Just a little side note on God's goodness and CFA's assistance: Caleb's employer had a paramedic on staff who was able to help Caleb through the worst of it. The employees worked as a team to take care of Caleb and keep his spirits up. (This is a very scary thing to happen to anyone, much more so for an 18 year old.) My family is very grateful!
3:13 p.m. The ER doc just got back from looking at the x-ray and EKG. Caleb (18 years old) does have a collapsed lung again, as we expected from his symptoms. He was breading chicken at work when it collapsed partially again. The ER doc will confer with the pulmonologist. We expect to hear surgery is needed because this is what they said would be needed if it happened again. They put him on the higher flowing O2 sooner since that is what helped him last time. That means he's getting relief faster. Thank you for all of the prayers and encouraging texts and comments. We are in the middle of one of those very stormy times of life where everything is hitting us from all sides. God is answering prayers in the middle of these storms for us. We are looking to Him for direction
For those asking, I do not have the room number as he has not been admitted yet.
3:44 p.m. Clint just called me. The doctor did not like the measurement on Caleb's lung collapse. It was worse than expected. Everything is getting speeded up. They want to transport him to Sentara Norfolk asap for surgery. Transport tonight and surgery tomorrow morning IF they can line it all up. They want to prevent a full collapse. I had planned a trip to Williamsburg this evening to take a meal to Clint and supplies for both of them, but now it's on hold. The hospital will transport him as soon as they can arrange it. I will most likely not be able to see him before surgery which pains my heart. There are so many people I need to thank for being there for my family today. I'd list names, but I am afraid I will forget someone. I am truly grateful to all of you whether it was for helping him through the breathing issues and pain, the many offers of transportation and other help, texting/calling/messaging me to keep me company, prayers lifted on our behalf, etc, etc. Thank you so much!
This was in my devotional this morning: I will answer them before they even call to me. While they are still talking about their needs, I will go ahead and answer their prayers! Isaiah 65:24 We are seeing this. It did not happen until after Caleb had arrived at work. He could have been on a ladder or driving!! A paramedic was there to help him through it, and his work friends were phenomenal in keeping him calm. Joshua was home and able to pick him up and meet Clint who left work to be with Caleb. I was able to get home to our younger children, tell them in person, and pack everything Clint and Caleb needs. We have friends who are offering to help get us to the different places. Brandon is away on business, but we were able to keep him informed all day. Everything we've needed was provided before we asked for it.
6:11 p.m. Dear friends of ours are on the way to the ER with their son, Luke, who is vomiting blood or bowel contents. (He has a G tube.) Please pray for them as well.
6:22 p.m. I am overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support. The encouraging texts with verses and words of support are nearly constant. Thank you all! I will be turning my phone off in a little while so I can rest and get up early tomorrow.
10:20 p.m. It's been a long evening. They had planned to transfer Caleb to Sentara Norfolk, but they could not get a room for him. They are just now giving him a room in Sentara Williamsburg. They will try again to get him transferred tomorrow morning. There are no signs of further collapse, and he is not in any pain at all. Love to all!
THANK YOU TO ARK CHURCH in Nags Head, NC for praying for Caleb and our family tonight.
Our friend's son is going to have labs done, but they are having to get a vascular team to start the IV. Two nurses could not get it started. They believe it is blood he is throwing up.
10/23/2019 11:38 a.m. Waiting game... Norfolk never had a room for Caleb last night, so they held him in Williamsburg. They are trying to get him a room and have him transported today. We are not sure what will happen after that. He is breathing fine and not in any pain, but when the nurses checked his fingers and toes for color.... They found two toes that were crushed from where a piece of oak plywood fell last week! He never told us, but this is the child who walked around with a burst appendix years ago. I'm irritated he didn't tell us, but that's a discussion I'll have with him later. They soaked his toes, put antibiotic on them, and wrapped them up. They look so bad the doctor is going to xray them at the same time they do his lungs. I just saw them via picture text after almost a month's healing time!!!! His big toes are still swollen and red/purple. Both are still bloody. The nails are not sitting right. It disturbs me he walked on them in that condition for as many hours as he has. Caleb is very independent, very tough, and likes to keep going.
5:12 p.m. I just got home from a nice visit with Caleb and Clint. I am trying to answer everyone now. Joshua, Bethany, Emily, Hannah, and I had him laughing to the point he started hurting. He had a fun ride over with a speedy driver and a comedic paramedic I met before I left.
Caleb's x-ray showed his lung has inflated slightly which is good and is why his breathing and pain have improved. His terrible looking toes are not broken. He was transported and JUST now arrived at Sentara Heart. Once he is in the care of his new doctor, a thoracic surgeon, we should learn the plan and surgery time. We have an idea of the procedure(s) they will be doing, but I will wait until we know for certain.
Sentara Norfolk General, Room 433, Caleb Asbell. You can send him a card for free here. He will be here a while this time.
7 p.m. Clint just met with the new doctor (Kuppireddy). The surgeon will meet Caleb in the morning. Caleb can't eat after midnight because they are hoping to do the surgery tomorrow afternoon. If they can't do it tomorrow afternoon, Friday morning is the goal. The delays have been due to patients with more serious and immediate needs. We are content to wait. The nurses are keeping a close eye on Caleb. He only hurts when he laughs at the present.
Thank you ALL for EVERYTHING! It has REALLY HELPED keep Caleb's spirits high and his mind off of what's ahead.
10/24/2019 8:30 p.m.: Shew! What a day! So much has changed! Caleb's lung reinflated in less than 24 hours, and he is stable. Because of that, doctors are OK with him waiting until Monday afternoon (first open surgery slot) or possibly Tuesday (if something comes up) for surgery now. Caleb wants to come home until Monday. The doctors aren't keen on it due to him having had second collapse so soon after the first (making a 50% chance it will happen again soon and worse than last time), but they are willing to work with him so he can be around his best medicine (family) and be well rested before surgery. God actually prepared the way for him to be able to come home ahead of time. Because we already have access to the specialized and hard to obtain equipment needed, it looks like Caleb will come home tomorrow afternoon. We are trying to work that out in a way that is safest for Caleb. We also heard the surgery details. My heart is hurting over what he is facing. Caleb has a hard and very painful road ahead with a lengthy recovery time. They are going to wound his lung and wound his chest cavity so they will heal and fuse back together to prevent another collapse. This works in 75% of people who have had multiple lung collapses. The doctor was very honest and told him when he wakes up... it will hurt, and it will hurt bad. If it does not work, they will do the same surgery again but with medical grade talc. It looks like he will miss 6-7 weeks of work, but his employer is very understanding. Please keep praying for Caleb and all of us. Lots going on..multiple fronts. Crazy stuff out of nowhere. Very stressful time for all of us. Thank you all for your prayers.
9:53 p.m. Clint and Caleb are making a stand. A nurse tried to give Caleb three unknown drugs without previous mention from his doctor. She seriously thought she could just put it in his IV bag and leave. Clint and Caleb stopped her. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, what is that?" Until she can answer what they are, what they are for, if there is something else they can do to prevent the use of the drugs, why they are all of a sudden needed, and why they were not informed Clint and Caleb are saying no. Near death experiences by different friends recently have made us cautious.
9:58 p.m. We were able to learn the drugs were not essential. They are considered optional, but we don't feel the benefits outweigh the risks of side effects. The nurse agreed that unless drugs are necessary, they should be avoided. Caleb was then informed he was admitted to the wrong room. He is in outpatient room when he is inpatient....until he can go home tomorrow. They moved him to a new room tonight. The experience at Williamsburg Sentara was much smoother than the visit to Sentara Heart has been.
Our friend's son was bleeding from his stomach, but it is stopped now. He has some bowel issues from this G tube, but he has improved some. He is home. Thank you to all who have included this sweet boy in your prayers.
10/25/2019 10:50 a.m. The doctor is going to have Caleb do a fast 6-7 minute walk, then check his blood O2, and will fast track his morning chest x-ray. If all is well, he gets to come home until Monday's surgery. Due to our distance from the hospital, they will expedite his leaving to help Clint avoid rush hour traffic. Caleb insists on coming home. There's not a lot we can do to make this situation better, so the doctors, nurses, Clint and I are working together to make this happen.
8:54 p.m. Caleb and Clint got home right before 7. Caleb passed all of the tests with flying colors. There was a long delay from when they told him he could go home until he actually was able to go home. They had many patients needing x-rays today. He is very happy to be home! Surgery is early next week. He will not be able to lift more than 10 lbs, drive, work, or exert himself in any way for at least a month. There are some serious risks, and he may have some scary moments post op. We are focusing on and praying for a positive outcome. Please also pray this surgery resolves the issue so he does not have to do another procedure with talc which carries a cancer risk.
Caleb is tall and thin. His chest cavity is long and narrow. His lungs also sit a little lower than you would expect. People with his body type are prone to spontaneous pneumothorax. He's asked for Asbell tacos (I wish our Polish "son," Chris, could be here!), brownies with ice cream, cheese cake with strawberries, and turtle pie for out family day on Sunday.
Thank you all so much for the prayers and encouragement and company and offers of help, the cards, the messages, etc from our family (old and new, near and far), friends, and strangers! May God bless you for your kindness to us.
1:24 p.m. Caleb did have a respiratory emergency at work just a few minutes ago. It scared him and everyone else, but he is stable atm. Joshua went to pick him up. Clint is hoping to intercept them. I am without a car and am trying to get home to pack what they need and to be with our younger children. We are hoping his lung does not collapse any more until he is at the hospital, but I told Joshua to be ready for it if it does happen. Caleb knows he will need surgery this time, so he's not happy. We are trying to get him to Williamsburg Sentara. There is a lot going on trying to get everyone where they need to be.
1:34 p.m. Clint has Caleb and is enroute to the hospital. Joshua is on his way to me so I can go home and pack what they need. I have not asked for any more details because I know how important it is to get Caleb to the hospital asap before his lung fully collapses. I will update with details asap. Please pray for my boy.
2:01 p.m. Caleb has arrived at the Williamsburg Sentara hospital safely and is being cared for.
Just a little side note on God's goodness and CFA's assistance: Caleb's employer had a paramedic on staff who was able to help Caleb through the worst of it. The employees worked as a team to take care of Caleb and keep his spirits up. (This is a very scary thing to happen to anyone, much more so for an 18 year old.) My family is very grateful!
3:13 p.m. The ER doc just got back from looking at the x-ray and EKG. Caleb (18 years old) does have a collapsed lung again, as we expected from his symptoms. He was breading chicken at work when it collapsed partially again. The ER doc will confer with the pulmonologist. We expect to hear surgery is needed because this is what they said would be needed if it happened again. They put him on the higher flowing O2 sooner since that is what helped him last time. That means he's getting relief faster. Thank you for all of the prayers and encouraging texts and comments. We are in the middle of one of those very stormy times of life where everything is hitting us from all sides. God is answering prayers in the middle of these storms for us. We are looking to Him for direction
For those asking, I do not have the room number as he has not been admitted yet.
3:44 p.m. Clint just called me. The doctor did not like the measurement on Caleb's lung collapse. It was worse than expected. Everything is getting speeded up. They want to transport him to Sentara Norfolk asap for surgery. Transport tonight and surgery tomorrow morning IF they can line it all up. They want to prevent a full collapse. I had planned a trip to Williamsburg this evening to take a meal to Clint and supplies for both of them, but now it's on hold. The hospital will transport him as soon as they can arrange it. I will most likely not be able to see him before surgery which pains my heart. There are so many people I need to thank for being there for my family today. I'd list names, but I am afraid I will forget someone. I am truly grateful to all of you whether it was for helping him through the breathing issues and pain, the many offers of transportation and other help, texting/calling/messaging me to keep me company, prayers lifted on our behalf, etc, etc. Thank you so much!
This was in my devotional this morning: I will answer them before they even call to me. While they are still talking about their needs, I will go ahead and answer their prayers! Isaiah 65:24 We are seeing this. It did not happen until after Caleb had arrived at work. He could have been on a ladder or driving!! A paramedic was there to help him through it, and his work friends were phenomenal in keeping him calm. Joshua was home and able to pick him up and meet Clint who left work to be with Caleb. I was able to get home to our younger children, tell them in person, and pack everything Clint and Caleb needs. We have friends who are offering to help get us to the different places. Brandon is away on business, but we were able to keep him informed all day. Everything we've needed was provided before we asked for it.
6:11 p.m. Dear friends of ours are on the way to the ER with their son, Luke, who is vomiting blood or bowel contents. (He has a G tube.) Please pray for them as well.
6:22 p.m. I am overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support. The encouraging texts with verses and words of support are nearly constant. Thank you all! I will be turning my phone off in a little while so I can rest and get up early tomorrow.
10:20 p.m. It's been a long evening. They had planned to transfer Caleb to Sentara Norfolk, but they could not get a room for him. They are just now giving him a room in Sentara Williamsburg. They will try again to get him transferred tomorrow morning. There are no signs of further collapse, and he is not in any pain at all. Love to all!
THANK YOU TO ARK CHURCH in Nags Head, NC for praying for Caleb and our family tonight.
Our friend's son is going to have labs done, but they are having to get a vascular team to start the IV. Two nurses could not get it started. They believe it is blood he is throwing up.
10/23/2019 11:38 a.m. Waiting game... Norfolk never had a room for Caleb last night, so they held him in Williamsburg. They are trying to get him a room and have him transported today. We are not sure what will happen after that. He is breathing fine and not in any pain, but when the nurses checked his fingers and toes for color.... They found two toes that were crushed from where a piece of oak plywood fell last week! He never told us, but this is the child who walked around with a burst appendix years ago. I'm irritated he didn't tell us, but that's a discussion I'll have with him later. They soaked his toes, put antibiotic on them, and wrapped them up. They look so bad the doctor is going to xray them at the same time they do his lungs. I just saw them via picture text after almost a month's healing time!!!! His big toes are still swollen and red/purple. Both are still bloody. The nails are not sitting right. It disturbs me he walked on them in that condition for as many hours as he has. Caleb is very independent, very tough, and likes to keep going.
5:12 p.m. I just got home from a nice visit with Caleb and Clint. I am trying to answer everyone now. Joshua, Bethany, Emily, Hannah, and I had him laughing to the point he started hurting. He had a fun ride over with a speedy driver and a comedic paramedic I met before I left.
Caleb's x-ray showed his lung has inflated slightly which is good and is why his breathing and pain have improved. His terrible looking toes are not broken. He was transported and JUST now arrived at Sentara Heart. Once he is in the care of his new doctor, a thoracic surgeon, we should learn the plan and surgery time. We have an idea of the procedure(s) they will be doing, but I will wait until we know for certain.
Sentara Norfolk General, Room 433, Caleb Asbell. You can send him a card for free here. He will be here a while this time.
7 p.m. Clint just met with the new doctor (Kuppireddy). The surgeon will meet Caleb in the morning. Caleb can't eat after midnight because they are hoping to do the surgery tomorrow afternoon. If they can't do it tomorrow afternoon, Friday morning is the goal. The delays have been due to patients with more serious and immediate needs. We are content to wait. The nurses are keeping a close eye on Caleb. He only hurts when he laughs at the present.
Thank you ALL for EVERYTHING! It has REALLY HELPED keep Caleb's spirits high and his mind off of what's ahead.10/24/2019 8:30 p.m.: Shew! What a day! So much has changed! Caleb's lung reinflated in less than 24 hours, and he is stable. Because of that, doctors are OK with him waiting until Monday afternoon (first open surgery slot) or possibly Tuesday (if something comes up) for surgery now. Caleb wants to come home until Monday. The doctors aren't keen on it due to him having had second collapse so soon after the first (making a 50% chance it will happen again soon and worse than last time), but they are willing to work with him so he can be around his best medicine (family) and be well rested before surgery. God actually prepared the way for him to be able to come home ahead of time. Because we already have access to the specialized and hard to obtain equipment needed, it looks like Caleb will come home tomorrow afternoon. We are trying to work that out in a way that is safest for Caleb. We also heard the surgery details. My heart is hurting over what he is facing. Caleb has a hard and very painful road ahead with a lengthy recovery time. They are going to wound his lung and wound his chest cavity so they will heal and fuse back together to prevent another collapse. This works in 75% of people who have had multiple lung collapses. The doctor was very honest and told him when he wakes up... it will hurt, and it will hurt bad. If it does not work, they will do the same surgery again but with medical grade talc. It looks like he will miss 6-7 weeks of work, but his employer is very understanding. Please keep praying for Caleb and all of us. Lots going on..multiple fronts. Crazy stuff out of nowhere. Very stressful time for all of us. Thank you all for your prayers.
9:53 p.m. Clint and Caleb are making a stand. A nurse tried to give Caleb three unknown drugs without previous mention from his doctor. She seriously thought she could just put it in his IV bag and leave. Clint and Caleb stopped her. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, what is that?" Until she can answer what they are, what they are for, if there is something else they can do to prevent the use of the drugs, why they are all of a sudden needed, and why they were not informed Clint and Caleb are saying no. Near death experiences by different friends recently have made us cautious.
9:58 p.m. We were able to learn the drugs were not essential. They are considered optional, but we don't feel the benefits outweigh the risks of side effects. The nurse agreed that unless drugs are necessary, they should be avoided. Caleb was then informed he was admitted to the wrong room. He is in outpatient room when he is inpatient....until he can go home tomorrow. They moved him to a new room tonight. The experience at Williamsburg Sentara was much smoother than the visit to Sentara Heart has been.
Our friend's son was bleeding from his stomach, but it is stopped now. He has some bowel issues from this G tube, but he has improved some. He is home. Thank you to all who have included this sweet boy in your prayers.
10/25/2019 10:50 a.m. The doctor is going to have Caleb do a fast 6-7 minute walk, then check his blood O2, and will fast track his morning chest x-ray. If all is well, he gets to come home until Monday's surgery. Due to our distance from the hospital, they will expedite his leaving to help Clint avoid rush hour traffic. Caleb insists on coming home. There's not a lot we can do to make this situation better, so the doctors, nurses, Clint and I are working together to make this happen.
8:54 p.m. Caleb and Clint got home right before 7. Caleb passed all of the tests with flying colors. There was a long delay from when they told him he could go home until he actually was able to go home. They had many patients needing x-rays today. He is very happy to be home! Surgery is early next week. He will not be able to lift more than 10 lbs, drive, work, or exert himself in any way for at least a month. There are some serious risks, and he may have some scary moments post op. We are focusing on and praying for a positive outcome. Please also pray this surgery resolves the issue so he does not have to do another procedure with talc which carries a cancer risk.
Caleb is tall and thin. His chest cavity is long and narrow. His lungs also sit a little lower than you would expect. People with his body type are prone to spontaneous pneumothorax. He's asked for Asbell tacos (I wish our Polish "son," Chris, could be here!), brownies with ice cream, cheese cake with strawberries, and turtle pie for out family day on Sunday.
Thank you all so much for the prayers and encouragement and company and offers of help, the cards, the messages, etc from our family (old and new, near and far), friends, and strangers! May God bless you for your kindness to us.
What e'er my God ordain is right:
written by Samuel Rodigast
What e'er my God ordain is right:
His holy will abideth;
I will be still what e'er He doth,
and follow where He guideth.
He is my God, though dark my road.
He holds me that I shall not fall.
And so to him, I leave it all.
He holds me that I shall not fall.
His holy will abideth;
I will be still what e'er He doth,
and follow where He guideth.
He is my God, though dark my road.
He holds me that I shall not fall.
And so to him, I leave it all.
He holds me that I shall not fall.
What e'er my God ordain is right:
He never will deceive me.
He leads me by the proper path;
I know He will not leave me.
I take content, what he hath sent.
His hand can turn my griefs away, and patiently I wait His day.
His hand can turn my griefs away.
He never will deceive me.
He leads me by the proper path;
I know He will not leave me.
I take content, what he hath sent.
His hand can turn my griefs away, and patiently I wait His day.
His hand can turn my griefs away.
What e'er my God ordain is right, though now this cup I'm drinking.
May bitter seem to my faint heart, I take it all unshrinking.
My God is true each morn anew.
Sweet comfort yet shall fill my
heart, and pain and sorrow shall depart.
Sweet comfort yet shall fill my heart.
May bitter seem to my faint heart, I take it all unshrinking.
My God is true each morn anew.
Sweet comfort yet shall fill my
heart, and pain and sorrow shall depart.
Sweet comfort yet shall fill my heart.
What e'er my God ordain is right.
Here shall my stand be taken.
Though sorrow, need, or death be mine, yet I am not forsaken.
My father's care is round me there.
He holds me that I shall not fall, and so to Him, I leave it all.
He holds me that I shall not fall.
He is my God, though dark my road.
He holds me that I shall not fall,
and so, to Him I leave it all.
He holds me that I shall not fall.
Here shall my stand be taken.
Though sorrow, need, or death be mine, yet I am not forsaken.
My father's care is round me there.
He holds me that I shall not fall, and so to Him, I leave it all.
He holds me that I shall not fall.
He is my God, though dark my road.
He holds me that I shall not fall,
and so, to Him I leave it all.
He holds me that I shall not fall.
Sunday, October 27, 2019
Saturday, October 26, 2019
Priorities in Motherhood
First posted 10/2007:
I am often asked by mothers who are struggling "How do you get it all done?" I don't get it all done. There are many things left undone when I crawl into bed each evening. Sometimes the workload gets to me, and I have to stop and reevaluate what is important.
God has made it clear to me through His Word that my husband, children, and home are to be my priorities. (Titus 2:3-5) Anything that takes away from them needs to be re-examined. They have to stay where God placed them in my life.
I enjoy helping with ministries, making soap, and homemade gifts, and selling online. I enjoy working with our animals, maintaining our websites, taking pictures, drawing, staying in touch with friends, and reading. I also enjoy gardening, yard work, and making herbal medicine. I like to sew, draw, cook and take walks along the waterfront. I enjoy many things, but none of those things are to be given precedence over what God has said must come first.
The last pregnancy put me far behind in many areas of my life. (Every pregnancy puts me far behind in many areas of my life!) I haven't been able to do much about it, but now Emily is older and more content to wait for me to get to her. I have recovered my health and most of my strength. I am suddenly overwhelmed by all that needs my immediate attention.
I've been asking God for more energy, more time, more help, and more ability. Still I fell behind even though I was working from dawn to dusk trying to catch up.
Yesterday morning, I cried out to Him and asked "There is so much that needs my attention Lord! I can't see me getting it done any time soon. While I am thankful for so many opportunities, I am overwhelmed by all that needs me. Help me to know where to start and how to go about catching up. Show me what is OK to let go and what needs doing first."
God pointed me back to His Word. He reminded me of what should be my priorities. He illuminated where I am (lamp unto my feet) with a clearly lit path to follow as I begin to find my rhythm again. I am a wife and mother first. Then I need to make my home a blessing to my family and our visitors. I've been here many times before and know that if I do it God's way, the rest will fall into place as I go along.
I am often asked by mothers who are struggling "How do you get it all done?" I don't get it all done. There are many things left undone when I crawl into bed each evening. Sometimes the workload gets to me, and I have to stop and reevaluate what is important.
God has made it clear to me through His Word that my husband, children, and home are to be my priorities. (Titus 2:3-5) Anything that takes away from them needs to be re-examined. They have to stay where God placed them in my life.
I enjoy helping with ministries, making soap, and homemade gifts, and selling online. I enjoy working with our animals, maintaining our websites, taking pictures, drawing, staying in touch with friends, and reading. I also enjoy gardening, yard work, and making herbal medicine. I like to sew, draw, cook and take walks along the waterfront. I enjoy many things, but none of those things are to be given precedence over what God has said must come first.
The last pregnancy put me far behind in many areas of my life. (Every pregnancy puts me far behind in many areas of my life!) I haven't been able to do much about it, but now Emily is older and more content to wait for me to get to her. I have recovered my health and most of my strength. I am suddenly overwhelmed by all that needs my immediate attention.
I've been asking God for more energy, more time, more help, and more ability. Still I fell behind even though I was working from dawn to dusk trying to catch up.
Yesterday morning, I cried out to Him and asked "There is so much that needs my attention Lord! I can't see me getting it done any time soon. While I am thankful for so many opportunities, I am overwhelmed by all that needs me. Help me to know where to start and how to go about catching up. Show me what is OK to let go and what needs doing first."
God pointed me back to His Word. He reminded me of what should be my priorities. He illuminated where I am (lamp unto my feet) with a clearly lit path to follow as I begin to find my rhythm again. I am a wife and mother first. Then I need to make my home a blessing to my family and our visitors. I've been here many times before and know that if I do it God's way, the rest will fall into place as I go along.
Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path Psalms 119:105
Friday, October 25, 2019
Stand
A friend of mine and I were talking about the onslaught of spiritual warfare in her family's life and in mine. I later learned Caleb's lung collapsed. She is a fitness instructor and does not have a lot of time. When she heard about Caleb, she quickly reminded me to "Stand." I knew immediately to what she was referring. It's one word, but it carries so much meaning. I am truly blessed to have you in my life, Angel! Thank you for your friendship and godly counsel!
Wear the Full Armor of God
10 To end my letter I tell you, be strong in the Lord and in his great power. 11 Wear the full armor of God. Wear God’s armor so that you can fight against the devil’s clever tricks. 12 Our fight is not against people on earth. We are fighting against the rulers and authorities and the powers of this world’s darkness. We are fighting against the spiritual powers of evil in the heavenly places. 13 That is why you need to get God’s full armor. Then on the day of evil, you will be able to stand strong. And when you have finished the whole fight, you will still be standing.
14 So stand strong with the belt of truth tied around your waist, and on your chest wear the protection of right living. 15 On your feet wear the Good News of peace to help you stand strong. 16 And also use the shield of faith with which you can stop all the burning arrows that come from the Evil One. 17 Accept God’s salvation as your helmet. And take the sword of the Spirit—that sword is the teaching of God. 18 Pray in the Spirit at all times. Pray with all kinds of prayers, and ask for everything you need. To do this you must always be ready. Never give up. Always pray for all of God’s people.
19 Also pray for me—that when I speak, God will give me words so that I can tell the secret truth about the Good News without fear. 20 I have the work of speaking for that Good News, and that is what I am doing now, here in prison. Pray that when I tell people the Good News, I will speak without fear as I should.
Some Ways We Pray for Difficult People
This goes with:
A Simple and Effective Way to Pray for Difficult People
This is an incomplete list of things our family has prayed:
These are the same things I pray for those in my circle as well as myself.
Thursday, October 24, 2019
A Simple and Effective Way to Pray for Difficult People
I was asked to run these two posts again for ease of locating since the search box is not working well for some. I apologize to our young friends at Liberty U for me taking so long to get it done. You are certainly more than welcome to print and share.
This post goes with: Some of the Ways Our Family Prays for Our Enemies
This was included in a series of talks I gave to a group in the last few weeks:
Enemy comes from the Latin word inimicus which comes from in meaning not and amicus meaning friend. Friend means someone with whom you have a mutual affection. The basic definition of enemy is "not a friend." The opposite of affection is indifference, disinterest, dislike, hatred, animosity, etc. A person who exhibits these qualities or works against your good is not a friend. That means they are an inimicus or enemy.
God commands us to pray for our enemies which is hard enough. He also commands us to love them. I want to have integrity in my Christian walk and honor God as I try to fulfill this command to love and to pray. When I was a young wife, I did a study on enemies and asked the Lord how could I pray for my enemies with real godly love? As I attempted to reign in the feelings in that flesh vs spirit battle, how could I be certain that I was genuinely praying with love?
The answer was very simple... Whenever I pray for myself or my family, I include them and their family too. I pray for them the very same things I ask God to give me and my family because if I want it for myself/my family, then I know I am asking it out of love for them. It's genuine, easy, and after a while almost effortless. It becomes second nature to include them as I pray my way through my day.
If I ask the Lord to help me get through a difficult day, I pray the same for them. "Father, this day has gone from bad to worse. I am asking for your help in giving me strength and a renewed spirit as I move forward. I ask you to bless XXXXXX with the same on their hard days, because even though we don't get along right now, I don't want them to have to struggle this hard." Any prayer I lift up for myself, I lift up at the same time for them too. When I am doing this for them, I am covering them in prayer, like I would someone close to me, all day long with a right attitude.
I've been doing this for many years, and it really helps me make that heart change from offended by them to forgiving and caring for them quicker and easier. Granted, at first, I am often praying out of obedience rather than feelings, but as I obey in this, my heart softens and changes. I submit to God's authority over my life with obedience, then He does a work in my heart.
If someone shares news of them, I feel like God is gifting me knowledge of another way I can obey by praying for them. If it is something good, I praise the Lord for it. It it is something sad or bad, I pray for their well-being through the storm. If I know of something they struggle with like a health issue, I add that to my prayer list also.
Life is full of speed bumps, detours, and obstacles. It's hard to navigate through some situations. We often react with emotion and pride rather than looking at the situation factually with understanding from the other person's viewpoint. We are selfish and want our way even if that isn't what God wants from us. We also have an enemy who is working hard against us in our families and the church. God made us a diverse people and gave us different life experiences and temperaments. When you weigh these factors, it is natural that we will have challenges in relating to one another.
Sometimes it is simply a dislike of the person that needs to be addressed in our hearts since we are called to love and esteem each other higher than ourselves. When that happens, we can ask God to help us learn things about that person that we can admire, appreciate, and respect. Other times, the situation is created by sinful ways of relating to each other. Sometimes, it is a misunderstanding or misconception. Many times, it is because we call our half hearted attempts at forgiving as successful when they are not. If we can not be polite and welcoming to each other, we have not honored God by truly forgiving in a way that changes us or our heart towards the person. We are also rebellious and make a lot of excuses.
That we have problems getting along with each other comes as no surprise to our all knowing Father. He even uses our disputes and our reconciliations for our good and His glory. He tells us to love the people who are showing us animosity and pray for them. While I believe we should look for other ways as well, we can obey God's commands to love and pray with very sincere prayers. All of His ways are good!
This post goes with: Some of the Ways Our Family Prays for Our Enemies
This was included in a series of talks I gave to a group in the last few weeks:
Enemy comes from the Latin word inimicus which comes from in meaning not and amicus meaning friend. Friend means someone with whom you have a mutual affection. The basic definition of enemy is "not a friend." The opposite of affection is indifference, disinterest, dislike, hatred, animosity, etc. A person who exhibits these qualities or works against your good is not a friend. That means they are an inimicus or enemy.
God commands us to pray for our enemies which is hard enough. He also commands us to love them. I want to have integrity in my Christian walk and honor God as I try to fulfill this command to love and to pray. When I was a young wife, I did a study on enemies and asked the Lord how could I pray for my enemies with real godly love? As I attempted to reign in the feelings in that flesh vs spirit battle, how could I be certain that I was genuinely praying with love?
The answer was very simple... Whenever I pray for myself or my family, I include them and their family too. I pray for them the very same things I ask God to give me and my family because if I want it for myself/my family, then I know I am asking it out of love for them. It's genuine, easy, and after a while almost effortless. It becomes second nature to include them as I pray my way through my day.
If I ask the Lord to help me get through a difficult day, I pray the same for them. "Father, this day has gone from bad to worse. I am asking for your help in giving me strength and a renewed spirit as I move forward. I ask you to bless XXXXXX with the same on their hard days, because even though we don't get along right now, I don't want them to have to struggle this hard." Any prayer I lift up for myself, I lift up at the same time for them too. When I am doing this for them, I am covering them in prayer, like I would someone close to me, all day long with a right attitude.
I've been doing this for many years, and it really helps me make that heart change from offended by them to forgiving and caring for them quicker and easier. Granted, at first, I am often praying out of obedience rather than feelings, but as I obey in this, my heart softens and changes. I submit to God's authority over my life with obedience, then He does a work in my heart.
If someone shares news of them, I feel like God is gifting me knowledge of another way I can obey by praying for them. If it is something good, I praise the Lord for it. It it is something sad or bad, I pray for their well-being through the storm. If I know of something they struggle with like a health issue, I add that to my prayer list also.
Here's an invigorating truth:
If the other person is a sincere, dedicated Christian, they are probably praying for you just as hard as you are praying for them. Maybe they are praying harder! If two Christians are at odds but both are being obedient to pray for and show love to each other on that deeper level, it becomes
a beautiful work of mutual grace and love
that leads to restoration and unity. Both hearts are changed, and both lives are blessed by the other person's sincere prayers. It's another example of beauty from ashes.
Life is full of speed bumps, detours, and obstacles. It's hard to navigate through some situations. We often react with emotion and pride rather than looking at the situation factually with understanding from the other person's viewpoint. We are selfish and want our way even if that isn't what God wants from us. We also have an enemy who is working hard against us in our families and the church. God made us a diverse people and gave us different life experiences and temperaments. When you weigh these factors, it is natural that we will have challenges in relating to one another.
Sometimes it is simply a dislike of the person that needs to be addressed in our hearts since we are called to love and esteem each other higher than ourselves. When that happens, we can ask God to help us learn things about that person that we can admire, appreciate, and respect. Other times, the situation is created by sinful ways of relating to each other. Sometimes, it is a misunderstanding or misconception. Many times, it is because we call our half hearted attempts at forgiving as successful when they are not. If we can not be polite and welcoming to each other, we have not honored God by truly forgiving in a way that changes us or our heart towards the person. We are also rebellious and make a lot of excuses.
That we have problems getting along with each other comes as no surprise to our all knowing Father. He even uses our disputes and our reconciliations for our good and His glory. He tells us to love the people who are showing us animosity and pray for them. While I believe we should look for other ways as well, we can obey God's commands to love and pray with very sincere prayers. All of His ways are good!
But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,
Luke 6:27
Luke 6:27
But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Matthew 5:44-48
Matthew 5:44-48
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.
I John 4:7
I John 4:7
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