BREAKING NEWS:
Special Force soldiers discovered an ancient letter in a sealed pottery jar while looking for Ali Saed Bin. It was in a cave system in Northern Syria. A translated transcript of the letter follows:
Dear Apostle Paul;
I just wanted to drop you a line to let you know about all those letters that you wrote. Well, they got sent to me in one large packet, probably by mistake.
First of all, Paul, I want to let you know that the moment I realized they were not addressed to me, I forwarded them directly to the Romans, Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, Thessalonians, and Timothy, Titus, and Philemon, as well.
I didn't mean to pry. I didn't even realize they weren't addressed to me until I started reading them. While I was skimming over the letters, I realized I have several concerns regarding what you wrote:
The letter you wrote to the Romans was really, really hard to understand and it sounded like you were really hard on them right off the bat. Now, I can say this: If I didn't understand it, well, I certainly doubt they will! It was like really out there! They probably didn't get what you were trying to say.
It also seemed like you were really down on the Corinthians and Galatians. You certainly could have salted your letters with a little more grace and love, if you ask me. Speaking of which, calling out individuals and saying to beware of them, or have nothing to do with them, or don't eat with them... that seems pretty harsh. We need to love them to the truth! We need to be in their sphere as an influence.
It also appears, in some of your letters, that you picked out favorites to remember by name. That is a bit embarrassing, if you ask me. Think of all the people you, like, left out! That's just crass!
Since we are on the subject, I wanted to take the opportunity to tell you that your letters were just full of do's and don'ts. There was not enough love and grace. Isn't that that the problem that Jesus had with the Pharisees, dumb rules? I mean, like, Jesus talked about love, mercy, and grace all the time!
Really, when you think about it, especially the Romans, Corinthians, and Galatians, they weren't raised like us. They didn't have the same type of religious bakground. They aren't even familiar with the basic rules More love and grace should be showed to them than anybody. We should understand that it is a lot for them to bite off, this new life in Christ. I don't think we should raise our expectations too high. On the one hand, you berate them for their divisions, then on the other hand, you say we need to have sound doctrine! Like duh! That's why there are divisions... so we know who has sound doctrine!
By the way, that little short letter you wrote to Philemon: Why didn't you tell him how immoral it is to have a slave? You should have used your apostolic power to tell him to let his slaves go! Didn't we do enough time in Egypt 1,500 years ago? That's like, just wrong!
I appreciate that little blurb you put in one of the letters saying you are human, like the rest of us, and always doing the wrong thing when you wish you could do the right thing. Yes! That's why we have grace! None of us can do the right thing and that's why you should be a little less judgemental! To quote you, "There is therefore now no condemnation..." Those are very beautiful words, Paul, you should just stick with them, but instead, generally speaking, the tenor of your letters was largely negative. Not good! It almost sounds like you are trying to make the perfect church. Don’t you know you cannot make the perfect church? We are just flawed people. I don't even think Jesus ever expected the perfect church. That's why we have grace!
BTW, say, "hi," to Gaius, the jailer for me. I met him one of the times Peter put his foot in his mouth. Me and Gaius are buddies. He can really cut your time down if you give him a little information.
I really feel God wanted me to tell you these things, brother. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I forwarded your letters on.
Sincerely,
Alexander the Coppersmith
--Author Unknown
