Repost: A Simple and Effective Way to Pray for Difficult People

Reposted by request.

This post goes with: Some of the Ways Our Family Prays for Our Enemies

This was included in a series of talks I gave to a group in the last few weeks: 

Enemy comes from the Latin word inimicus which comes from in meaning not and amicus meaning friend. Friend means someone with whom you have a mutual affection. The basic definition of enemy is "not a friend." The opposite of affection is indifference, disinterest, dislike, hatred, animosity, etc. A person who exhibits these qualities or works against your good is not a friend. That means they are an inimicus or enemy. 

God commands us to pray for our enemies which is hard enough. He also commands us to love them. I want to have integrity in my Christian walk and honor God as I try to fulfill this command to love and to pray. When I was a young wife, I did a study on enemies and asked the Lord how could I pray for my enemies with real godly love? As I attempted to reign in the feelings in that flesh vs spirit battle, how could I be certain that I was genuinely praying with love?

The answer was very simple... Whenever I pray for myself or my family, I include them and their family too. I pray for them the very same things I ask God to give me and my family because if I want it for myself/my family, then I know I am asking it out of love for them. It's genuine, easy, and after a while almost effortless. It becomes second nature to include them as I pray my way through my day.

If I ask the Lord to help me get through a difficult day, I pray the same for them. "Father, this day has gone from bad to worse. I am asking for your help in giving me strength and a renewed spirit as I move forward. I ask you to bless XXXXXX with the same on their hard days, because even though we don't get along right now, I don't want them to have to struggle this hard." Any prayer I lift up for myself, I lift up at the same time for them too. When I am doing this for them, I am covering them in prayer, like I would someone close to me, all day long with a right attitude. 

I've been doing this for many years, and it really helps me make that heart change from offended by them to forgiving and caring for them quicker and easier. Granted, at first, I am often praying out of obedience rather than feelings, but as I obey in this, my heart softens and changes. I submit to God's authority over my life with obedience, then He does a work in my heart.

If someone shares news of them, I feel like God is gifting me knowledge of another way I can obey by praying for them. If it is something good, I praise the Lord for it. It it is something sad or bad, I pray for their well-being through the storm. If I know of something they struggle with like a health issue, I add that to my prayer list also. 

Here's an invigorating truth:

If the other person is a sincere, dedicated Christian, they are probably praying for you just as hard as you are praying for them. Maybe they are praying harder! If two Christians are at odds but both are being obedient to pray for and show love to each other on that deeper level, it becomes 

a beautiful work of mutual grace and love 

that leads to restoration and unity. Both hearts are changed, and both lives are blessed by the other person's sincere prayers. It's another example of beauty from ashes.

Life is full of speed bumps, detours, and obstacles. It's hard to navigate through some situations. We often react with emotion and pride rather than looking at the situation factually with understanding from the other person's viewpoint. We are selfish and want our way even if that isn't what God wants from us. We also have an enemy who is working hard against us in our families and the church. God made us a diverse people and gave us different life experiences and temperaments. When you weigh these factors, it is natural that we will have challenges in relating to one another. 

Sometimes it is simply a dislike of the person that needs to be addressed in our hearts since we are called to love and esteem each other higher than ourselves. When that happens, we can ask God to help us learn things about that person that we can admire, appreciate, and respect. Other times, the situation is created by sinful ways of relating to each other. Sometimes, it is a misunderstanding or misconception. Many times, it is because we call our half hearted attempts at forgiving as successful when they are not. If we can not be polite and welcoming to each other, we have not honored God by truly forgiving in a way that changes us or our heart towards the person. We are also rebellious and make a lot of excuses.

That we have problems getting along with each other comes as no surprise to our all knowing Father. He even uses our disputes and our reconciliations for our good and His glory. He tells us to love the people who are showing us animosity and pray for them. While I believe we should look for other ways as well, we can obey God's commands to love and pray with very sincere prayers. All of His ways are good!

But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 
Luke 6:27 

But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. 
Matthew 5:44-48 

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 
I John 4:7