This is so embarrassing, and I've debated with myself about sharing it. I am sharing it because everybody has a stupid moment, and I know ya'll can use a laugh.
I am not at my home where there are no close neighbors and where we are surrounded by forest giving me the luxury of great privacy. That's my normal for over 26 years. I appreciate that privacy so much more after today.
I am staying in a nice house which is in view of the road. Not fully awake, I took two steps outside early this morning to pour water into a bowl for some feral and pathetic-looking cats that were dropped off months ago. That's one of the things I do here for the owner while they are away.
I didn't think it would take more than a few seconds and did not think of a robe or anything else. My only concern in my half-asleep state was that the bowl was bone dry, and I wanted to get some water to the poor animals before I got into the shower.
What I didn't know: During certain times of the year, the front door is tricky, and the deadbolt must be engaged to keep the door locked. That means the knob lock isn't usually effective. So, when I unlocked the deadbolt and the door popped opened, I guess I subconsciously assumed the knob lock was unlocked.
That stinkin' door shut behind me just as I took the two steps necessary to reach the bowl. I wasn't worried. I finished pouring the water, turned around, and tried to open the door. It didn't open. I tried the door again. I was very sleepy, so I paused and tried one more time. I would pay money to see my face when I fully realized my situation.
I was wearing only a long t-shirt and my underwear. Crazy hair. My cell phone was inside. No coffee needed today! Suddenly, I was WIDE AWAKE!! :-D
I did not want to walk a quarter a mile to the neighbor's house looking like I was. Not an option. I quickly imagined the description of me being given to the 911 dispatcher, the deputy rolling up, and me having to explain myself. NOPE.
I tried the other doors and windows. All locked. I tried breaking into this house multiple ways while ducking out of view every time a car came. AND, just what is up with all of the traffic on this road today?!! I kicked it beside the knob several times. I hard-shouldered it. I tried to pry it open. Nothing worked. I was desperate!
I forgot about the road at one point. A truck came to a stop while I was slinging a large pipe wrench at the window on the door. Thankfully for his benefit, my body was mostly shielded by the deck railings. I knew the door was cheaper to replace than the windows I could crawl through. My plan was to bust the one pane and unlock the door. The heavy pipe wrench bounced off the door's glass every time, and the driver must have thought twice of messing with a crazy-looking and acting woman because he drove off. Let me tell you, that was one smart move on his part because I was in "some kinda mood!"
There were a few more harried adventures until I finally remembered....
There is a spare key.
Lord help me help my stupid self! :-D I was not laughing when I remembered the key, but I am laughing now. Mercy!
I've never had to use it, so it wasn't in my sleepy head. Once I collected myself, I called the owner of the home--just in case someone calls them. I am now re-evaluating my friendship j/k because they couldn't stop laughing.
When I called my C-Dawg and told him about my morning manic moment, he only commiserated with a short "Oh no!" Then he laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed. :-D
I am here tomorrow too. I'll shower, dress, AND have the coffee BEFORE opening the door.
I love you all...have a good laugh and a great weekend!
PS- I also relearned that an unrestricted bosom is no friend of a running woman.
